Godzilla should have been directed by Lars Von Trier who would film this in a non linear fashion and focus squarely upon Godzilla’s sexual hangups, impulsive violent behaviour with his children and the destructive relationship he has with his abusive father and suicidal mother.
There would be numerous slow motion dream sequences and shots of Godzilla mutilating his erect penis after his daughter accuses him of molestation. And it goes without saying there will be numerous shots of Godzilla looking out of the window of his 5th floor apartment at grey, rain sodden skies while nursing a cigarette and looking disheveled, unshaved and hungover
The film would be in Danish with English subtitles and finish abruptly and with no apparent resolution to the subject matter. It will feature cameos by Udo Kier and Stellan Skarsgard, who will play a sadistic piano tuner who lived next to Godzilla as a child and taunted the poor beast with lit matches. Godzilla’s daughter would be portrayed by Charlotte Gainsbourg, who will appear in the film with a metal brace on her left leg and proceed to have sexual intercourse in a lift with an anonymous African male.
Jim O’Rourke will perform the soundtrack.
It will take home the Palm D’Or at Cannes.
Everyone will b e happy. Except for the popcorn munching mallrat demographic who do not like to watch anything challenging lest it makes them think too hard or confront uncomfortable truths about themselves.
Godzilla should have been directed by Lars Von Trier who would film this in a non linear fashion and focus squarely upon Godzilla’s sexual hangups, impulsive violent behaviour with his children and the destructive relationship he has with his abusive father and suicidal mother.
There would be numerous slow motion dream sequences and shots of Godzilla mutilating his erect penis after his daughter accuses him of molestation. And it goes without saying there will be numerous shots of Godzilla looking out of the window of his 5th floor apartment at grey, rain sodden skies while nursing a cigarette and looking disheveled, unshaved and hungover
The film would be in Danish with English subtitles and finish abruptly and with no apparent resolution to the subject matter. It will feature cameos by Udo Kier and Stellan Skarsgard, who will play a sadistic piano tuner who lived next to Godzilla as a child and taunted the poor beast with lit matches. Godzilla’s daughter would be portrayed by Charlotte Gainsbourg, who will appear in the film with a metal brace on her left leg and proceed to have sexual intercourse in a lift with an anonymous African male.
Jim O’Rourke will perform the soundtrack.
It will take home the Palm D’Or at Cannes.
Everyone will b e happy. Except for the popcorn munching mallrat demographic who do not like to watch anything challenging lest it makes them think too hard or confront uncomfortable truths about themselves.
Post of the year!
Having a tough day and I can’t tell you how much that cheered me up!
Everyone will be happy. Except for the popcorn munching mallrat demographic who do not like to watch anything challenging lest it makes them think too hard or confront uncomfortable truths about themselves.
Godzilla should have been directed by Lars Von Trier who would film this in a non linear fashion and focus squarely upon Godzilla’s sexual hangups, impulsive violent behaviour with his children and the destructive relationship he has with his abusive father and suicidal mother.
There would be numerous slow motion dream sequences and shots of Godzilla mutilating his erect penis after his daughter accuses him of molestation. And it goes without saying there will be numerous shots of Godzilla looking out of the window of his 5th floor apartment at grey, rain sodden skies while nursing a cigarette and looking disheveled, unshaved and hungover
The film would be in Danish with English subtitles and finish abruptly and with no apparent resolution to the subject matter. It will feature cameos by Udo Kier and Stellan Skarsgard, who will play a sadistic piano tuner who lived next to Godzilla as a child and taunted the poor beast with lit matches. Godzilla’s daughter would be portrayed by Charlotte Gainsbourg, who will appear in the film with a metal brace on her left leg and proceed to have sexual intercourse in a lift with an anonymous African male.
Jim O’Rourke will perform the soundtrack.
It will take home the Palm D’Or at Cannes.
Everyone will b e happy. Except for the popcorn munching mallrat demographic who do not like to watch anything challenging lest it makes them think too hard or confront uncomfortable truths about themselves.
[reply]I mean, yeah, you’re all morons. So, it’s not surprising that you’d think those amazing trailers are shitty.
It’s a Hollywood big budget movie, yes. But they put that giant pile of money to good use, I think, and made a movie that looks proper.
I don’t get the hate for these promos. I really don’t. I guess it’s the whole, “Well, it’s a Hollywood big budget movie, therefore it’s crap!” mentality. They’d prefer that the movie was made by some smelly Frenchman with a Super 8 and $28 in his pocket and released with subtitles to an audience of 12 Godflesh fans.
Give me a break.[/reply]
I suppose if we brought back the “giant lizard” suit it’d be “awesome” in some shitty “ironic” hipster way. But I want my Godzilla big with believable CGI and awesome shit. Fuck if I care if it’s popular or made to be a big “Hollywood hit”. Sometimes I just want to enjoy shit that is awesome.
But I’d watch the shit out of Peligro’s version. I’d buy it and then drunkenly review it on Amazon too.
Yeah, have to give it up to Peligro here. Brilliant evisceration.
[reply]I mean, yeah, you’re all morons. So, it’s not surprising that you’d think those amazing trailers are shitty.
Says the guy who’s all excited about a giant lizard movie.[/reply]
Couldn’t you dumb down anything to that sort of level? Like:
“Says the guy who’s all excited about a robot cop movie.”
“Says the guy who’s all excited about a sex and drug filled wallstreet movie.”
“Says the guy who’s all excited about a taxi driver movie.”
“Says the guy who’s all excited about another post-apocalyptic movie with an Austrialian hell-bent on revenge.”
“Says the guys who’s all excited about a guy with an eraser for a head movie.”
“Says the guy who’s all excited about a talking duck movie.”
Couldn’t you dumb down anything to that sort of level? Like:
“Says the guy who’s all excited about another post-apocalyptic movie with an Austrialian hell-bent on revenge.”
Sorry, Bro. It doesn’t really work with Mad Max. He’s such a badass mofo that even attempting to dumb-it-down STILL leaves you with the most badass movie ever.
“another post-apocalyptic movie with an Austrialian hell-bent on revenge”
---- That’s a tagline that will work EVERY time. Anyone that doesn’t buy a ticket based solely on this is a queer. And everyone knows that queerin’ don’t make the world work!
Couldn’t you dumb down anything to that sort of level? Like:
“Says the guy who’s all excited about another post-apocalyptic movie with an Austrialian hell-bent on revenge.”
Sorry, Bro. It doesn’t really work with Mad Max. He’s such a badass mofo that even attempting to dumb-it-down STILL leaves you with the most badass movie ever.
“another post-apocalyptic movie with an Austrialian hell-bent on revenge”
---- That’s a tagline that will work EVERY time. Anyone that doesn’t buy a ticket based solely on this is a queer. And everyone knows that queerin’ don’t make the world work![/reply]
But that’s exactly the point I was making. You can make taglines like that for any movies - even great movies - and it means jack shit.
Okay, Everyone! You’re all more modern and hip than I am, so can you help a brother out?
Should I see Godzilla in 3D? Does it actually make the films (obviously opinions on this will be based not on this film, but past titles) any “better”?
Does it make them worse?
How do I decide? I don’t ever go to the movies, so I want the best experience I can get.
I don’t at all care about the ticket price, so don’t try to quantify “is it worth paying more?”. I just want to know if there’s any difference and if that difference is good or bad.
Thanks, Nerds!
(Yeah, I know, the 40 year old man going on the internet to ask Godzilla questions doesn’t really get to call people nerds anymore. Deal with it.)
well, Dredd was AWESOME in 3D, as was Gravity, but both of those used the 3D to create beautiful and rich texture… Final Destination 4 and 5, however, while goofy funrides were not really necessary for me to see in 3D. so, if you are seeing Godzilla, i would say save the three bucks and see the 2D, use that extra three bucks to buy some food to sneak in.
I did see Dredd and Gravity in 3D. And while those were decent achievements, the others I have sampled over the years were as you said “not necessary”.
Even Avatar’s 3D wasn’t that great. (The whole movie sucked, but people seem to cite that as landmark 3D)
Haven’t bothered reading this thread much, but now I see the subject of 3D come up and movies that didn’t need it. You guys haven’t mentioned the one movie that didn’t need it but got it anyways:
3D makes me dizzy sometimes too. I occasionally catch a movie in 3D, but I don’t think this will be one of them.
My theory about this movie is that it’s just one giant meth trip that Walter White (who’s in this film) set upon the world. There really is no Godzilla…just a bad trip man.
