[reply]
Only thing that entitles you to a meet ‘n’ greet is a $500 VIP Gold Package. Oh, wait . . . no, it doesn’t, actually. .
A $500 meet and greet with Al Jourgenson?!
HA!! Surely you jest? He didn’t really do that did he?[/reply]
Sorry, sir. It happened. And only a couple of shows actually got to meet and greet him. If i remember right as the tour went on less and less dates actually got to meet and greet him.
So, when you add in the travel and such, he spent well over $1200 to … have a beer with Smurf and Gunnar’s posse . . . okay, that last part probably made it worth it, actually.
That sounds right
The VIP didn’t actually guarantee a “meet and greet”, in all fairness. We were goofing on the advertised package long before the tour, actually. It mentioned “best VIP section seating”, lanyard, and maybe something about “special 13th planet gift” or something, but there was some fine print hogwash that said, “does not guarantee you will meet any band members” or something.
But the advert did make it SOUND (to anyone who didn’t already know better from having watched 13th Planet’s Standard Operating Procedures for the past 5 years) like there was a lot of other exciting stuff going on.
I just felt really bad for Ron. That dude also spends a crapload on Al’s used goods from those auctions and such . . . . he was wearing, I believe, one of Al’s old kilts, his motorcycle gloves, a hat.
Honestly, if Al and/or Angie had taken 2 minutes out of their evening to just walk up to the rail before the show and shake the hand of the dude with the shiny plastic lanyard and thank him for his support . . . it would have been (even moreso) the greatest experience of his life.
Ron never got upset, but I STILL am. He got screwed, big time. There’s no other way to put it.
You know, I’ve decided I’ve had enough of Al Jourgensen stealing my thunder. I’ve decided to get back into the game and offer my very own TOMASZ VIP PLATINUM PACK.
For the low, LOW price of $1,500, I will grant you lucky T.V.P.P. winners the following:
a branded USB thumb drive containing .pdf copies of all my published work, plus HI-RES .jpegs of images exclusive to Prongs board members (yes, this includes the infamous velvet painting of Chris Connelly.)
Four Tomasz-branded POGS (What, you don’t remember POGS?! Scum.)
special, personalized mega-mixxx album (A blank, Tomasz-branded CD-recordable: ownership of already existing albums may be required to achieve proper mixxxing effect.)
Lastly, the Meet 'n Greet itself: an opportunity to dine AT THE SAME CAFETERIA TABLE with me while I enjoy my lunch of Swedish meatballs and lingonberries at the Ikea in Round Rock, Texas. Meal and travel costs will not be reimbursed; I may also not be eating there on the date of your choosing, and may not be ‘on call’ to appear there.
As you can guess, supplies are highly limited…my personal secretary Marketa is now waiting to take your calls!!!
^
I’m in.
Keep the Glogg on ice, Brother!
^
I’m in.
Keep the Glogg on ice, Brother!
I only have enough Glogg (and branded bottles) for the people who bought the VIP Bronze Pack, sadly. That’s not included in this promotion.
The scary thing is that if you were even remotely serious about throwing 1,500 bones my way, I’d have to start getting to work in earnest on a Connelly velvet painting.
And finding a printer that would allow me to do a “small run” of pogs.
I’d be sure to throw in a VIP-class documentary video tracing the whole process.
OOOHHHHH!!! You should add a new Diamond Level VIP Super Pack . . . .
In addition to getting to go to IKEA and buy our own Glogg and Swedish Meatballs and get a postcard print of the legendary Connelly painting we should also get a download code to unlock some YouTube videos of “The Making Of The Diamond Level VIP Super Pack”.
Now, if you had also taken Martin Atkins Revolution 3 class curriculum you would have learned (by result of routine victimization) how to get some other starry-eyed industry hopefuls looking for their big break to do all your work for you. You can charge them a $5000.00 tuition for that unique hands-on learning experience.
OOOHHHHH!!! You should add a new Diamond Level VIP Super Pack . . . .
In addition to getting to go to IKEA and buy our own Glogg and Swedish Meatballs and get a postcard print of the legendary Connelly painting we should also get a download code to unlock some YouTube videos of “The Making Of The Diamond Level VIP Super Pack”.
Now, if you had also taken Martin Atkins Revolution 3 class curriculum you would have learned (by result of routine victimization) how to get some other starry-eyed industry hopefuls looking for their big break to do all your work for you. You can charge them a $5000.00 tuition for that unique hands-on learning experience.
Damn! Did you major in marketing? Do you need a job? See, I may have to let go of some staff here that have been confronting me about “questionable” product roll-outs. They started their griping around the time that we introduced the Limited Ultra-Underground Tomasz Toaster Cozy (only $200 a pop, including download card for an experimental single of me using only the sounds of a contact-mic’d toaster as source material.) And the whinging has hit fever pitch with the push for the VIP packs.
We definitely need some fresh blood in our public relations dept., that’s for sure. I sense Voidhead’s going to come out with his own competing VIP packs any day now, and I’ve got to stay one step ahead of 'im.
I will be glad to work for you as marketing manager.
Send me the invoice so I can pay you the proper tuition for this unique hands-on experience.
the Limited Ultra-Underground Tomasz Toaster Cozy
Brilliant.
I won a meet and greet in 08 but if I wasn’t a shit
Was locked up for 8months
Didn’t find out for a minute
No biggie…
Well, it had to be done at some point, and since I’m being asked to call out another forum member: I have been trying to be a good sport for years about the slights I’ve suffered from forum member Chris Connelly, but I can’t bear it any longer.
<snipped long, boring story>
What did you expect? 50 year old record store clerks have the world by the balls. This gives them the right to act like pretentious fuckwits.
With the minimum wage in Illinois potentially rising to $10/hour, there is hope that his kids can someday go to The College of Dupage.
<snipped long, boring story>
Damn. Good thing I haven’t been doing product plugs for the books here.
I hope you aren’t one of those who, having only had the concentration of mind to get through a paragraph, thought I was being even remotely serious.
[reply]That’s fucked up. I did the VIP thing in 2008, and we got photos, signatures and some decent swag.
I had a bad feeling abut this go around though. Yeesh.
I think that’s when I did it too. at the cu la tour, right? I think the meet n greet was like 80 bucks, a little under a 100 after all the stupid fees.
The bag of schwag was a joke though. It was literally balloons and a download card and some post cards and small posters for other projects on 13th planet. oh and it all came in a white paper bag that said 13th planet with the logo on it.
I did get to meet Al though. I used to always wear my Devil’s hockey Jersey to Ministry concerts so when I met him he screams out “Meet N greet is over I’m talking puck with this guy!”
It was cool. I felt special. I was happier to see Josh again though. Even happier that he remembered my name. I hope he’s having some success. Guy just fell off the scene.[/reply]
Josh is fine. We ran into him and Amir outside Vinyl after the NIN and Filter shows at the HRH in Vegas last November.
Yeah, Ron is a nice guy, and what happened is not right.
Josh is fine. We ran into him and Amir outside Vinyl after the NIN and Filter shows at the HRH in Vegas last November
Did say what he was doing now? Last i heard he was doing his simple shelter project. But that had to be 5 years ago.
He’s doing good. He’s living in a cabin in Washington state. He’s got a new Simple Shelter CD ready to go, and he’s hoping to tour it soon. He had a couple dates set early this year, but the booker fell through.
Glad to hear it
FUCK YOU ALL!!!
Hey everybody, it’s the GRUMPY & GUNNAR show!!
Laugh as Gunnar narrates side splitting tales of having diarrhea!! Chuckle as Grmpy says “poo poo” and “doo doo” a lot. Split your sides as Gunnar takes a dump and they both strip off and roll around in it. Feast you eyes on Grmpy sticking his cock in a bowl of chicken fat!! Snicker at Gunnar lighting his farts and belching into a microphone! Your sides will split at the sight of the two of them scratching their heads while listening to “difficult” music. Convulse as Gunnar eats a plate full of bacon soaked in Jim Beam then crushes a beer can on his head. Giggle at Grmpy’s cute attempts at putting a coherent sentence together…
Tune in tonight at 9!!
Hey everybody, it’s the GRUMPY & GUNNAR show!!
Laugh as Gunnar narrates side splitting tales of having diarrhea!! Chuckle as Grmpy says “poo poo” and “doo doo” a lot. Split your sides as Gunnar takes a dump and they both strip off and roll around in it. Feast you eyes on Grmpy sticking his cock in a bowl of chicken fat!! Snicker at Gunnar lighting his farts and belching into a microphone! Your sides will split at the sight of the two of them scratching their heads while listening to “difficult” music. Convulse as Gunnar eats a plate full of bacon soaked in Jim Beam then crushes a beer can on his head. Giggle at Grmpy’s cute attempts at putting a coherent sentence together…
Tune in tonight at 9!!
You’re commercial is terrible. Are you sure you rescued a timber mill? you’re advertising is terrible. As far as me putting together a sentence… you wouldn’t know, 'cause you barely graduated high school, spoiled rich boy!