Woman Problems Part 2

So in the Ask Gunnar thread I sought some wisdom. I won’t dig up the thread, but some of you may remember it. After nearly killing myself twice over that bitch I start talking to a chick named Crystal. She helped me get over Jeannie and we meet as she’s about to move to Missouri. We had chemistry right off the bat. I don’t know if any of you believe in past lives, but it’s like we had known each other before. Then we get a hotel together before she left.

Despite the distance, feelings of love started to form. She tells me she wants to put that we’re in a relationship on facebook. I said I’m down with saying we’re in a open relationship, cuz that’s all I really intended it to be. But the more we talked the closer we got. She had really been sticking with me during a low point in my life. She was miserable in Missouri and I was in a homeless shelter. But it wouldn’t be long before she moved back to California.

So we decide to make it official. We spent the 4th of july together in a hotel room and it was by far the best 4th either of us ever had. Lots of sex, booze and pot. But a week later she decides she wants to go back to her roots as a Jehovah’s Witness. Everything might have seemed good, but she had told me that she wants a father figure to her 2 little ones who are 4 and 6. She also has a 23 year old and a 17 year old who each have a kid. How many people can say they’re banging a gilf? A gilf who hasn’t even turned 40 yet?! That’s all the bragging I’m gonna do. Anyways, she wants a father figure and wants ANOTHER BABY!!! All that coupled with the Jehovah’s Witness thing and not wanting to have sex til marriage was enough for me to bail out.

So I break up with her. I really didn’t want to but I’m now 26 and I don’t have my shit together to raise a family. Neither does she. She had to stay at her granny’s house and is now staying with a friend and is sharing a bedroom with the friends son. But in august we couldn’t resist getting another room together. And if she didn’t have so much shit on her phone we would’ve made a porn! She’s got a bit of a sex addiction. But after that night it kinda seemed like closure. She was gonna walk the religious path and find a father figure and I was gonna get my shit together. In fact, during that time at the hotel I looked at a room for rent that I’m now living in.

We kept talking after that and she didn’t get over me. I had invited this chick who’s pretty much my bitch over and fucked. Crystal and I get on the phone and she starts going on about how she’s mad at our situation. I then told her that I brought Melody over and she got pissed. You guys might be thinking that was a dumb move, but I’m open about my sex life.

So we don’t really talk much after that. But one night on facebook she posts something about having a boyfriend. I admit I got a little jealous so I ask her about it. She had just got a job that’s full of druggies. She doesn’t really get down like that, but she was telling me that people were dealing meth out in the open. So her boyfriend turns out to be a co-worker. She hadn’t even known the guy 2 weeks and they start going out and are having unprotected sex and then she tells me he’s going to rehab for meth. We talk on the phone and I pretty much tell her how she fucked up. Of course, she admits that she fucked up. She tells me that she was so heartbroken over me that she had to find a way to get over it. This dude’s going to rehab and he’s talking about getting a place with her. What a fucking crock!

So that leads to tonight. I start texting her and I asked if she got her period. She usually doesn’t get it til the 9th but it’s the 8th so I though I’d ask. She tells me no and I tell her that I guess my prayers won’t be answered. I have my own understanding of God and I pray to it. I really hope she doesn’t bring a child into this world under these circumstances. A couple of minutes later I tell her that she can be mad at me all she wants for me saying that. Told her I love her, but if she gets pregnant then she fucked up. I also tell her that the new guy looks nice but she could do better. I’m not the hottest guy in the world but I’m miles ahead of this guy. He’s a fat biker lookin motherfucker with a fu manchu and she had the audacity to tell me that he and I are on the same level of looks.

I love her but it pains me to watch her fuck up. Anything could happen in the next 24 hours, but if she is pregnant do I keep her in my life and watch her fail? I’m tempted to tell her that I hope she has a miscarriage. I honestly do cuz nobody at her age without their shit together should bring a child into this world. Almost forgot to mention that she doesn’t believe in abortion cuz of her religious background and I doubt she’s gonna give the kid up for adoption. So what do I do. I was hoping for some words of wisdom from Gunnar, cuz I know he ain’t gonna bullshit.

he’s going to rehab for meth

probably the same way she’s going back to being a church girl.

He’s a fat biker

a FAT guy on meth? thought Meth didn’t work that way

she doesn’t believe in abortion cuz of her religious background

what does her religious background say about drugs and premarital sex? it would seem she makes exceptions when it comes to her religion she could probably make a few more and have it scraped out.

I’m tempted to tell her that I hope she has a miscarriage.

Why do you think she needs to hear that? What affect is that supposed to have?

all of that really doesn’t matter, advice is still the same, wash yer hands and walk away. Don’t mistake sex for love. Do you honestly think anything good can come of this for either of you?
Late,
grmpysmrf

Nope, not gonna bullshit you, Brother.

  1. Cut yourself loose from this bullcrap. Just stop poking at it. If you’re done with her, you’re done with her. Otherwise, don’t complain about the inevitable dramas that are going to come with a pregnant 40-year old meth head grandma.

  2. Don’t add girls you date (or hook up with or whatever the kids call it these days) to your Facebook. It’s stupid. Unless you want a girl to have immediate access to all your friends . . . DON’T DO IT.

  3. Stop calling this lady. That includes texting, FB’ing, and anything else. Leave her be. She ain’t yours now and you’ve decided that what she wants out of a partnership with you is unacceptable.

  4. Calling/texting/emailing a ex to tell her she’s effed up or wrong or stupid or needs help . . . that’s an a-hole move.

Anyway, let me simplify this for you. Either admit that you like the effed up Jerry Springer drama or STOP HAVING CONTACT WITH HER. Get on with your life. Leave her alone and instead of saying how you’re going to get your act together, DO IT. Trust me, you are NOT going to do with by wasting your time with dramabags like this gal.

All the best,
Gunnar

You’re right. I shouldn’t tell her. For the record, I was never in love with her. She fell for me for whatever reason, but I still had my guard up from Jeannie. It’s gonna be a long time before I find the right one. And I think the lesson learned here is don’t chase after older women. From my experience, they want a family. I’m 26 and I’m having a hard enough time focusing on me. I didn’t want it to go so fast. Nobody does. But I went with the flow and here I am. She says she doesn’t expect to start her period til the 20th now.

And I admit it’s a very cold thing to wish a woman having a miscarriage, but I’ve stated my reasons as to why. I probably wouldn’t be so heartless if I knew she’d give the kid up for adoption, but that ain’t gonna happen.

And thanx Gunnar. But she ain’t a meth head. She’s just dating one.

Worrying about chicks is not the way to get your own life on track. Forget about the broads, Dude. Get an education or a job or chase after what it is you want in life. If you keep getting derailed by baggage-wielding bimbos you’ll NEVER be able to trade up. If you think being broke at 26 limits your pool of prospects (and it does, by the way) imagine how that pool is gonna look when you’re just as broke but 40. Get an education and/or a job, get some stability, get a place to live. THEN you actually have something to OFFER a woman instead of just some weird ass emotional fix for broken down hasbeens looking for someone to dump their crap on.

You’re right and I’m not gonna worry about it. Getting it off my chest here and with a roommate relieved the stress. Now to wait to fall asleep and go to school tomorrow.

Right on!

From someone in their 40’s to someone in their 20’s I have 2 words:No Contact…

Listen to Gunnar,he knows of which he speaks…

I don’t even know where to start. I feel for ya brother. I’ve been in that same kind of emotional entanglement singularity type thing that you just can’t rip yourself free from, I’d just say do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself or you’ll end up waking up in ten years and realizing that you just spent the last ten years being miserable chasing the same damn thing that wasn’t any good for you in the first place. Odds are, when that happens and you’re finally sick of the game you can’t stop making yourself play, something the complete polar opposite will fall in your lap and it’ll be just what you really needed all along. Then the problem becomes not messing up the awesome thing because you’re so used to the anti-awesome thing that you just don’t know how to act. Life’s fucking weird like that.

women are the root of all evil…

Worrying about chicks is not the way to get your own life on track. Forget about the broads, Dude. Get an education or a job or chase after what it is you want in life. If you keep getting derailed by baggage-wielding bimbos you’ll NEVER be able to trade up. If you think being broke at 26 limits your pool of prospects (and it does, by the way) imagine how that pool is gonna look when you’re just as broke but 40. Get an education and/or a job, get some stability, get a place to live. THEN you actually have something to OFFER a woman instead of just some weird ass emotional fix for broken down hasbeens looking for someone to dump their crap on.

^this

I’m now 26 and I don’t have my shit together to raise a family.

You don’t say…

[reply]I’m now 26 and I don’t have my shit together to raise a family.

You don’t say…[/reply]

Some people got it together to raise a family at my age. Some people start having kids younger than that and really step it up. It’s not like I couldn’t try. I just don’t want to. I don’t ever plan to have kids, especially with my ex. Honestly, I’m still kinda at the point where I wanna be taken care of by a woman. I’m a gentleman but I’m not a provider. Part of the reason I’m not looking for anyone at the moment.

Anyways, I think I’ve gone on enough about this.

Don’t get married before age 30 or greater.
and
Never marry a woman under the age of 25. Age 27-28 (or greater) is better.

Too many things to figure out, get straightened out, and discover and way too easy to grow apart.
It is very easy to base the relationship on the wrong things versus the right things because the right things take work.

No need to say it, but kids complicate things greatly. Before you know it, a single parent with the grandparents raising the kid.

Don’t get married before age 30 or greater.
and
Never marry a woman under the age of 25. Age 27-28 (or greater) is better.

I got married at 27.
My wife was 23.
We will celebrate our 12th anniversary soon.
I guess we’re just better than everyone.

I got married at 27.
My wife was 23.
We will celebrate our 12th anniversary soon.
I guess we’re just better than everyone.

That’s cool you found someone a few years younger on the mature side. I don’t even think about getting in a relationship with someone younger than me. All the girls (can’t really call them women) I meet that are any younger than me just don’t get it. I went after older women cuz I feel like they understand me better. Crystal almost does completely, but then you see the situation at hand. I think I might have to go back to chicks in my age range, but the chicks where I’m at don’t have much going on. The central part of Contra Costa County sucks ass.

I got married at 27.
My wife was 23.
We will celebrate our 12th anniversary soon.
I guess we’re just better than everyone.

I was 32
My wife was 26
Late,
grmpysmrf

That’s the only rational response really.