Well, at least Al Jougensen's not in THIS guy's shoes...

If my impeccable journalistic fact-finding skill serves me well, we have a few people on this board who are liking themselves the Metal music.

Maybe some of you are familiar with [url http://noisey.vice.com/blog/neill-krieg-blake-judd?utm_source=noiseyfbus]the sordid saga of Blake Judd, a.k.a. “Azentrius?”

I highly recommend reading through that rant from his former bandmate. As lengthy as it may be it’s not ‘difficult’ reading…well, not ‘difficult’ as in ‘academic,’ but certainly difficult to read if you have ever had to babysit (as I have) an artist / musician who took up heroin abuse as a means of calling forth “the muse.”

While I don’t think Al Jourgensen ever accepted fans’ money in exchange for rare records that he didn’t even own, or for “pre-release bundles” of a record that never shipped, the parallels between the two guys’ lives are a little, uh, sobering. Reading through this, I’m reminded of Connelly’s implication in “Concrete, Bulletproof…” that Al may have gotten heavily into the smack in order to actually make problems for himself, and thus have material for music.

If anyone else is considering taking a similar road, I’m glad that articles like that one exist as a stern warning (spoiler alert: Judd wandering around cold and friendless on the streets of Chicago is not quite the ‘happy ending.’)

They guy from Sublime did that too. Got himself a heroin habit because he thought it would make him a better musician.
He’s dead now.
Moron.

Crazy article, the guy sounds like a total cunt.

Crazy article, the guy sounds like a total cunt.

There’s another ‘great’ story out there about how he got someone to design him a t-shirt and then CHARGED the guy for a screened copy of his own design.

In case anyone’s curious, it was a t-shirt with the oh-so-shocking kvlt slogan “WHITE ‘POWDER’, NOT WHITE ‘POWER’” on it (quote-y marks are mine.)

I guess it was his way of saying “hey, I’ve broken pretty much every other widely accepted moral code in order to get my hands on some sweet drugs, but at least I’m not a racist!” And even then…in his volunteered desperation, he’d probably be throwing down some Nazi-themed black metal to the first person who fronted him some cash to do so.

And even then…in his volunteered desperation, he’d probably be throwing down some Nazi-themed black metal to the first person who fronted him some cash to do so.

By the sound of it he’d tell them he’d do the tracks, take their money and they’d never hear from him again… or until the smack money ran out and he hit them up for some more.

I don’t know anything about these guys or band(s), though Thurston Moore rung a bell as I heard he did some metal shit a few years ago.

Anyhoo, I’m no detective, but just a simple guy trying to connect the goddamn dots…If they’re from Chicago, maybe he studied under this [url “http://www.ratemyteachers.com/martin-atkins/3355523-t”]Industry Mogul

The author sips a bushmills and breathes a sigh of relief, reflecting on the almost purchase of a Ministry cage piece.

The author sips a bushmills and breathes a sigh of relief

I’m from a town not that far away from Bushmills, it always makes me chuckle when i hear of someone drinking it somewhere not in Northern Ireland for some reason. It’s like i forget that it’s internationally popular. Imagine my surprise when i was a kid and i found it was Burt Reynolds’ drink of choice in “Hustle”. He gets killed by Freddy Kruger (playing an armed robber) when he decides to buy one final, fatal bottle of it from a liquor store at the end of the film, hahaha.

In case anyone’s curious, it was a t-shirt with the oh-so-shocking kvlt slogan “WHITE ‘POWDER’, NOT WHITE ‘POWER’” on it (quote-y marks are mine.)

I guess it was his way of saying “hey, I’ve broken pretty much every other widely accepted moral code in order to get my hands on some sweet drugs, but at least I’m not a racist!” And even then…in his volunteered desperation, he’d probably be throwing down some Nazi-themed black metal to the first person who fronted him some cash to do so.

I’ve not read the article, so I apologize if this is all answered within . . .

Regarding your comment about the Nazi black metal, I’m not sure if that was a really really subtle comment about the fact that the band NACHTMYSTIUM actually was accused, and still gets such accusations, of being NAZIS.

Why? Well, as I recall, they chose to be recorded by or distributed by some White POWER company (I think maybe it was an online distribution thing or something), so yeah, you could order your Skrewdriver, RAHOWA, or Prussian Blue CD’s, pick up some “White Pride World Wide” bumper stickers and whatever stupid blackmetal gibberish these Nachtmystium kooks were selling.

It always comes up on various YouTube comment wars . . . . not that I would ever participate in such foolishness (I was actually too busy getting death threats for telling little kvlt kids that Nachtmystium is fake black metal trying to rip off Cradle of Filth).

Regarding your comment about the Nazi black metal, I’m not sure if that was a really really subtle comment about the fact that the band NACHTMYSTIUM actually was accused, and still gets such accusations, of being NAZIS.

Oh I know of the connection, though I wasn’t referring directly to that…merely the strange sense of selective morality that Mr. Azentrius seems to possess: as if his one upstanding act of non-racism (which, again, may not even be completely sincere) absolves him of the things he’s alleged to do, like beating his wife, stealing from fans and friends, etc.

I think Thurston Moore was mentioned a couple posts above? Having noted all this stuff, I find it deliciously funny that Mr. [url http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sonic_youth/youth_against_fascism.html#!]Youth Against Fascism himself saw fit to join a black metal supergroup with A GUY WHO IS DISTRIBUTED BY A RACIST RECORD LABEL, hahaha…

I’ve always been suspicious of Moore’s “no enemies in the underground” lack of quality control and discernment. Hopefully someone will call him out on this latest bonehead move so that I’ll be spared more of his endless self-congratulatory bandwagon hopping…one minute he’s the savior of ‘hardcore,’ then ‘free jazz,’ then ‘noise,’ and apparently now black metal.

Anyhoo, I’m no detective, but just a simple guy trying to connect the goddamn dots…If they’re from Chicago, maybe he studied under this [url “http://www.ratemyteachers.com/martin-atkins/3355523-t”]Industry Mogul

The author sips a bushmills and breathes a sigh of relief, reflecting on the almost purchase of a Ministry cage piece.

Ha, I knew who that was linking to before I even rolled over the link :-p

I think Martin Atkins and Blake Judd moved in very different circles…which may be fortunate for the world, they could have merged together into one unstoppable super scam artist.

And who knows, perhaps they did have a chance to meet at some time? Invisible Records, during my time there, was located very close to [url https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dearborn_Homes#Crime_and_drugs]some of the most undesirable housing in Chicago, where Judd may have occasionally stopped in to, uh, procure some recreational pharmaceuticals.

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I think Martin Atkins and Blake Judd moved in very different circles…which may be fortunate for the world, they could have merged together into one unstoppable super scam artist.

No, you’re totally right. Atkins moves in very, very [url “https://www.linkedin.com/pub/martin-atkins/b/995/702”]different circles. Unfortunately, you have to have a LinkedIn account to see his profile pic, which of course is him and Richard Branson.

Wow. That Neil kid is a real human punching bag, ain’t he?

Martin Atkins post-script:

Anyone here know of [url http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin’s_law]“Godwin’s Law?” I’m thinking there should be a variation on that entitled ‘Prongs Forum Law’:

“As an online discussion about musical scam artists grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Martin Atkins or Invisible Records approaches ‘1.’”

And has anybody spotted a copy of his new ‘Band Smart’ book yet? It’s listed as “currently unavailable” on Amazon now, I’ve been looking forward to reading it since its predecessor ‘Tour Smart’ was an unintentional laugh riot.

Someone posted a review of his Tour Smart book on here some time back. They told us that there were such amazing professional insights as . . . “Put gas in the van. Don’t forget your keys.” and other mind-blowing revelations for how to make it in the cuttroat world of touring.

I kind of liked his description of the “Five Point Crush” in his YouTube videos. I don’t know how well it plays out in reality, but it sounded pretty cool in a YouTube clip.

Band Smart is, I think, the book he was working on a year or two back. I remember he was pushing for some crowd-funding and one of his ploys was that you could “buy a fuck”. For like $5 (or maybe it was just a buck, I don’t remember) he’ll put a “fuck” in the book for you. Yeah, that’s right. He’ll dedicate a f-bomb to you. It made me want 10,000 people to pitch it, just because I thought it would be a hilarious Tourette’s explosion. “I’m Martin Fucking Atkins to fucking tell you how to make a fucking success in this fucking super fucking competitive industry of live fucking music. Fuck.” But I think I remember seeing a final preview and he just took the wimpy way out and had an addendum at the front or back which was just an entire page of “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck . . . .” written on it.

Lame.

If anyone has the book, please let me know.

Band Smart is, I think, the book he was working on a year or two back. I remember he was pushing for some crowd-funding and one of his ploys was that you could “buy a fuck”. For like $5 (or maybe it was just a buck, I don’t remember) he’ll put a “fuck” in the book for you. Yeah, that’s right. He’ll dedicate a f-bomb to you. It made me want 10,000 people to pitch it, just because I thought it would be a hilarious Tourette’s explosion. “I’m Martin Fucking Atkins to fucking tell you how to make a fucking success in this fucking super fucking competitive industry of live fucking music. Fuck.” But I think I remember seeing a final preview and he just took the wimpy way out and had an addendum at the front or back which was just an entire page of “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck . . . .” written on it.

Lame.

Hahaha he’s STILL claiming to have invented the word ‘fuck’?

It was already a bit embarrassing back in the mid-90s, when his ‘spoken word’ shows were simply him reciting a litany of “Fuck [insert noun here].” The shows could be somewhat funny if there was some degree of audience participation allowed, but could get close to unbearable if Martin was just given free rein to rant…like a cross between a bad John Cooper Clarke knockoff and every conversation ever held by Goths at Denny’s at 2am.

If memory serves, he also offered to print telephone messages to the Invisible offices within the artwork to one of Pigface’s many many remix CDs (probably “Feels Like Heaven…Sounds Like Shit”), a lot of them being fans’ humble additions to his “fuck” litany. He just wasn’t monetizing it back then, as he does now with seemingly everything.

It made me want 10,000 people to pitch it, just because I thought it would be a hilarious Tourette’s explosion.

And here is, yet again, one more example of why I like hanging out with Gunnar. Brilliant!

And . . . . . FOUND IT!!!

Check out the perks.

Especially the $50 level.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/martinatkins/martin-atkins-new-book-band-smart

And . . . . . FOUND IT!!!

Check out the perks.

Especially the $50 level.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/martinatkins/martin-atkins-new-book-band-smart

HAHA:

** Pledgers in Canada and Mexico add $33.00($83.00 Pledge). And all other international pledgers please add $48.00($98 pledge). THANK YOU!!! **

Just watched Maaahtin’s grating Kickstarter video for Band Smart (WHY do people insist in still funding that project after he’s already raised the money?! Is it a requirement of one of his classes or something?)

Atkins now looks like some sort of alternate universe Penn Jillette with that horrible, horrible chin hair growth. And yes I know P.J. was actually a Pigface “collaborator” at some point, adding - who woulda thunk it - a “fuck” to some Pigface track or another.

Yet another music industry celebrity whose level Al has not reached…for all his hijinks, he hasn’t yet [url http://www.reuters.com/video/2015/01/30/rap-mogul-suge-knight-surrenders-after-d?videoId=363046977&videoChannel=1]killed anyone in a “deadly hit and run…”

Everybody knows real gangstas kill with glocks and not by vehicular homicide, come on…