Toot's Jesu Chronicles!

Well as promised Toot comes with his Jesu Chronicles thread. As usual with the next day after a gig I’m hang-over to the fucking EXTREME!!! But I shall do my best.

It was a great start to the day actually…I invited a fews pals around and made a big fry up for lunch and showed them the directers cut of Watchmen on Blu-ray as they’d not seen the film. This is the third time I’ve watched the film and I must say it’s a fucking supreme Blu-ray with mad surround sound business!

After the film we got some kick-ass fish’n’chips for dinner. After that I began my horrific drinking binge which has resulted in this fucking horrible hang-over…GOD I feel sooooooooo alive![cool]

Anyway we got to the venue GRV just before Cut Hands did his set. GRV is a tiny nightclub here in Edinburgh and sadly this event was not that busy with probably 100 people all up…which for a band like Jesu is a real shame I thought. Oh well…such is life.

Below was the line-up for the evening and times…

Doors 17:00

17:30 - Of Spire & Throne
18:15 - Project Serendipity
19:00 - Wraiths
19:40 - Human Greed
20:25 - Cut Hands
21:00 - Jesu
22:30 - 03:00 DJs

OK so this guy Cut Hands comes on. Apparently this is the guy from Whitehouse. I’ve never really heard Whitehouse let alone Cut Hands so wasn’t sure what I was going to get. I actually thought it’d be a band, but it was just the one guy with his laptop. Anyway his music was loud as fuck! It was a combination of mean fucking beats and bass, brutal bad-ass Afro-Cuban percussive rhythms with whitenoise thrown into the mix here and there. I actually thought it’s was quite fucking awesome although I wasn’t really a fan of the deafening whitenoise he threw into the mix to scare the pants off everyone! I imagine Peligro would like this stuff very much? Below is Cut Hands…(by the way…I watched Cut Hands standing next to Justin Broadrick…fuck I rule!)

Next up was the mighty Jesu. I did the rounds and talked to alot of folk and was surprised to discover most of them had no idea who Broadrick was. I was EXTREMELY dissapointed to note that there was not one Godflesh shirt! The horror of it!!! There was one Jesu shirt though. Also I was a bit crushed to find there was no Jesu merch for sale. Anyway tonights incarnation of Jesu was Justin, his laptop and a bass player who I didn’t recognise. Jesu had a tough evening as whoever the guy was on the pa did a pretty poor job for the most part. Basically Justin and his bass player couldn’t hear their monitors and also Justin’s vocals were drowned out in the mix alot. Regardless Jesu fucking rocked BIG time and sounded great, so credit to them.

Right let’s get down to business…Jesu pumped out 5 songs…which took an hour and a half! hahahahaha!

Jesu started with a fucking awesome song which I’ve not heard before so it’s obviously fresh off the press. It started off with a really fucking quick and urgent sounding Hip Hop beat with a really crisp cutting hi-hat. After about a minute of this awesome rhythm the Jesu guitars came crashing down with pure crushing beauty. I laughed as my friend who’s never heard Jesu turned to me and said “are those guitars supposed to sound like that?!” hahahahaha!!! During this song you virtually couldn’t hear Broadrick’s vocals…but that didn’t matter as the music was great!

Next up was everyone’s favourite “Conqueror”. This was fucking majestic and the crowd gave a big cheer when that intro came in. I just absolutely fucking ADORE that soaring riff in this amazing song. We could hear Justin’s vocal a bit better during this song.

Next we had “Old Year”. Again there were probs with the vocal and Justin wasn’t happy…he wasn’t angry though as he’s just too much of a nice guy so the pa guy was lucky! Regardless this was another beast music and sound wise.

Song 4 was a real surprise…“Heart Ache”. This was pure fucking magic and heavy as hell. I really wasn’t expecting to hear one of the Heart Ache songs so was chuffed.

After “Heart Ache” Justin said “right we’ve got one more song…but it’s over 20 mins!”. At this I yelled out “RUINED!!”…Justin had a chuckle and replied “it’s NOT Ruined”. Considering we got “Heart Ache” I couldn’t complain!

Anyway the last song was another one I hadn’t heard. It may’ve been from the recent Jesu release? Whatever it was it fucking kicked some MAJOR ass and was easily the filthiest riff moment of the evening. The riff sounded like a mean as fuck Godflesh throwback. I was going bananas over this one. It also had a tumbling drum sample here and there that sounded like vintage Flesh too!

The set finished and Justin apologised profusely to the crowd about the probs in his soft shy voice. He didn’t have to apologise though as everyone fucking loved the set! (well I did anyway![cool])

Sadly I failed to bag a photo with Justin as I pussied out…I did however shake his hand and kiss his ass by saying how much I loved Godflesh/Jesu/Ice/Techno Animal etc…he was like “WOW you must be old!”.

Behold…the mighty Jesu.

After Jesu we all had to go upstairs to the after party where we had a surprise waiting for us…A STRIP TEASE! I’m sure Justin was blushing.

After the strip tease these drunk Irish guys did their own strip tease which was AWESOME! Actually before the gig I had a spare ticket and met these guys out the front. One of them was low on cash and wasn’t going so was seeing his trusty pals off…I flung him the spare ticket and made his evening so that was cool. As a mark of respect they allowed me to document their excellent show piece…

I fucking LOVE this next shot. It’s everything that’s great about rock’n’roll and the Irish…

The DJ was playing on a really crappy sound system and the music was all droney and not my cuppa tea so I headed off to my beloved Messenger Sound System club night @ The Bongo Club which is unadulterated Dub Reggae on a fucking killer sound system…behold one of the stacks…(the girls have ears of steel!)

Stevie gettin Dubwise wit it!

And Edinburgh getting down wit it!

After Messenger packed up I headed home and finished the evening off with a dram of Bowmore Islay single malt whisky then hit the hay to reach my amazingly fucked up hang-over today! hahahahaha…obviously it was well worth it as it’s not every day I get to see a Justin Broadrick set.

I actually attempted to do this post earlier today but wiped the post when I was nearly at the end. Brought a tear to my eye so I hit the hay for a wee nap to tame the hang-over a bit.

I’m now watching trash tv and will run along as Scooby Doo the movie is on and as you all know…it’s ESSENTIAL viewing.

All the best people.

He played Heart Ache?!! That is amazing, I would have went ballistic if I’d witnessed that. It must have crushed the place to the ground. It sounds like he finished with bits from the first half on ‘Infinity’. The first song could have featured some of ‘Infinity’ too or else it’s something from ‘Opiate Sun’ (or even cooler the re release of ‘Heart Ache’). You’re a lucky fecker nonetheless. You’ll have to get ‘Infinity’ to confirm the other songs, the vinyl will be available in 2-3 weeks time. I hope to fuck JKB keeps to his word and comes across the Irish Sea sometime soon.

As always thanks for the chronicles Toot. Eat plenty of eggs for hangover!

As always thanks for the chronicles Toot. Eat plenty of eggs for hangover!

Actually I just ate four sausage sandwiches and one bacon sandwich. I think I’m going to puke now.

I will indeed confirm if the last song was an extraction from Infinity when I pick it up.

I should’ve actually asked Justin what the first and last songs were when I had the chance. Whatever they were they were awesome.

If the mystery songs features any of the following there’s a good chance they were bits from ‘Infinity’:

Swooshing electronics with delicate guitar notes dancing in between (from the intro)

A pummeling industrial drumbeat.

Soaring/hanging emotive lead guitar layered over crunching downtuned rhythm guitar (what I would call ‘jesu-riff’, a guitar style that makes them so special).

{The above makes up the first heavy bit of ‘Infinity’ and has become the anthem of 2009 for me. It is a lovely few minutes of heavy music.)

Godfleshy vox (with lyrics such as “Your nightmares… became… MIIIIIIINE!”) The industrial beats re-surface during this bit.

Killer pics as per usual, Toot, and nice info on Cut Hands.

A big LOL to your sexay stripper friends as well.

fuck you!!! heartache!>???

amazing man, i’m jealous.

his vox we hard to hear when i saw them as well. he does have a soft voice i guess.

nice in depth review man, thanks.

awesome pix toot thanks again!
btw you gotta have a coupla pieces of bread and some water before you go to sleep to escape a hangover!
Late,
grmpysmrf

kick ass review… thanks for forcing yourself to write it…
i even read it twice… only bad part was you didn’t get a pic with him.

‘Cut Hands’ is William Bennett from Whitehouse - he has never released anything under the ‘Cut Hands’ moniker so I can’t say if I’m a fan of this solo stuff. But I’d imagine it would be similar to both Whitehouse’s more recent instrumental tracks and the ‘Extreme Music From Africa’ album…so I’d guess I’d be a fan.

One question: Does Justin Broadrick ever age??

One question: Does Justin Broadrick ever age??

Well, he loses weight. he looks a lot thinner in those picks, than he appears in the heartache photo.
Late,
grmpysmrf

One question: Does Justin Broadrick ever age??

You’re right Peligro he looks pretty much the same as he did 20 years ago. Maybe getting out all that aggression onstage with Godflesh has helped keep him young???

Justin Broadrick does indeed seem to be forever young considering he is heading towards his 40s now?

I’ve heard that if you look really youthful for a loooooooooooooong time that when you do age you do it really quick. I haven’t seen any evidence of this of course! Someone was saying it to me a few years back as I got ID’ed while buying alcohol and I’m 33.

As for Cut Hands…that album title “Extreme African Music” sums it up perfectly! So I imagine it would be pretty similar to the stuff on that album Peligro.

Justin Broadrick does indeed seem to be forever young considering he is heading towards his 40s now?

I’ve heard that if you look really youthful for a loooooooooooooong time that when you do age you do it really quick. I haven’t seen any evidence of this of course! Someone was saying it to me a few years back as I got ID’ed while buying alcohol and I’m 33.

As for Cut Hands…that album title “Extreme African Music” sums it up perfectly! So I imagine it would be pretty similar to the stuff on that album Peligro.

Maybe his non-stop working countered by his pot smoking keeps him relaxed enough to never age. Or not having kids, haha.

For example of rapid aging, see Dave Foley:

Kind of strange when he was always the most youthful KITH.

Or not having kids, haha.

Good call. The Chinese say having a child drains your essence (life-force). I think Justin Broadrick is obviously proof of this. The Chinese also say you have to control your ejaculations as this is your life-force you’re throwing away here.

Seems we now know quite a few intimate things about our musical hero Justin Broadrick!

Behold my prong friends…follow these procedures and like Broadrick, you too will live a looooooooooooooooooong time and do little aging.

"A man may attain health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation frequency of twice monthly or 24 times in a year.

If at the same time he pays careful attention to proper diet and exercise he will have a long and healthy life"

[Sun Su-mo]

"As the great Taoist Doctor Sun points out, diet, exercise and sexual discipline form the three pillars of Taoist health and longevity regimens.

The principles of Tao apply equally to men and women.

In both men and women, semen-essence is the fuel that drives sexuality. It is the source not only of physical capacity for sex but also of sexual interest and emotional affection for the opposite gender.

However, since women do not ‘leak’ when they ejaculate, orgasm does not rob them of sexual drive and interest after the ‘first act’.

Therefore, the practices required to achieve the harmony of Yin & Yang must be cultivated primarily by men. This chapter is thus addressed mainly to men, although the information contained herein should be studied and understood by women who consort with Taoist men or who wish to convert their men into Taoists.

Western medicine claims that men naturally replenish their semen supply soon after ejaculation and that the male’s capacity for producing semen is virtually limitless.

This is a highly misleading generalization. Simply compare ejaculation with blood donation, and you’ll see the fallacy. After donating a pint of blood, you feel week and tired for a day or two, until the lost pint is replenished. Blood clinics advise donors not to give blood more than a few times each year in order to avoid chronic fatigue, low resistance and excessive strain on the circulatory system.

According to Chinese physicians, the same point applies to semen, except that the loss of semen is even harder to replace than blood.

The body must invest a lot of essence and energy to fully replenish semen supplies and re-establish proper hormone balance after a man ejaculates.

When ejaculation frequency exceeds the capacity of the body to fully replenish semen, men experience chronic fatigue, low resistance, irritation and other symptoms of essence and energy deficiency. They also lose all sexual interest in their partners, who may well be ready for more action.

True, teenage boys and young men in their early 20’s replenish semen faster than they could possibly expend it, but the notion that this capacity continues indefinitely into adulthood is patently false.

It is women, not men, whose sexual potency is ‘inexhaustible’. Celibacy, however is not the answer. for that deprives men of the therapeutic benefits of sexual stimulation. The answer is ejaculation control. Frequent intercourse with infrequent ejaculation maintains a mans interest in the act as well as his capacity to continue indefinitely until his partner is fully satisfied.

Men who ejaculate once or more on a daily basis may eventually ‘lose their minds’, since 20 percent of male semen is composed of cerebrospinal fluid. Frequent ejaculation thus causes a chronic drain of the vital fluids that the brain and spine require to function properly.

The resulting deficiency of cerebrospinal fluid can cause such increasingly common conditions as premature senility, inability to concentrate, chronic depression, loss of sexual drive and a host of other related symptoms.

Furthermore, recent medical evidence indicates that with each and every ejaculation men suffer a significant loss of zinc, a rare but vital trace element.

Frequent ejaculation thus results in a chronic, critical deficiency of zinc, symptoms of which include loss of memory, mental confusion, paranoia and hypersensitivity to sunlight. These facts seem to verify the ‘old wives tale’ that excessive male masturbation addles the mind, weakens the spine and leads to blindness.

The Tao enables the male member to become an all-weather instrument of equal competence to that of its female counterpart and permits man and woman to ‘make love not war’, while at the same time protecting the health and prolonging the lives of both partners."

Regulating Ejaculation Frequency

"All schools of Taoism agree that retention of semen and proper regulation of its emission are indispensable skills for male adepts of the way.

In their writings, the adepts of ancient China each left us their own personal guidelines for determining emission frequency.

By combining their various suggestions with your own individual requirements and practical experience, you may readily determine an emission schedule that suits your personal needs.

Let’s start with some plain talk from our old friend and sexual mentor, the Plain Girl. Confused by the concepts of ‘sparing vital essence’ and ‘regulating leakage’, the Yellow Emperor addressed his doubts to the Plain Girl and got this reply:

Some men are strong, some are weak, some men are old and others are in their prime. Each should live according to his own vitality and not try to force the joys of sex. Forcing joy is harmful.

Thus a robust male of 20 may ejaculate twice daily, but an emaciated one should do so no more than once daily.

A 30-year-old male may ejaculate once a day, but only once every two days if he’s an inferior specimen.

A flourishing man of 40 may emit semen once every three days, but if he’s weak he may do so only once every four days.

A robust man of 50 may ejaculate once every five days, but only once every ten days if he is weak.

A 60-year-old man in good health may emit once every ten days, or once every 20 days if his health is poor.

At 70, a robust man emit once a month, but a weak one should no long emit semen at all.

The Tang Dynasty physician Lee Tung-hsuan, in Mysterious Master of the Cave, used frequency of intercourse rather than day-intervals as his recommended measure for regulating emission:

When having sexual intercourse with women, a man should emit semen only two or three times in ten.

Master Liu Ching, a Han Dynasty adept credited in dynastic archives with achieving a life span of over 300 years, preferred to regulate his emissions according to the cosmic cycles of seasonal change:

In spring, a man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. The Way of Heaven is to accommodate Yang essence in winter. A man who follows this guideline will live a long and healthy life. One ejaculation in cold winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring.

The most practical advice of all on the subject of ejaculation control comes from the centenarian physician Sun Ssu-mo, the Tang Dynasty adept who outlive three emperors by practicing what he preached. His general yardstick, quoted at the head of this chapter, was twice a month, or 24 times per year. His own personal regimen, however, was only one emission per 100 copulation’s. Dr. Sun lived to the age of 101.

According to Sun Ssu-mo a man should ‘become acquainted’ with Tao by the age of 30, and ‘acquire a thorough working knowledge’ of it by 40: Before the age of 40, most men are still full of vigorous passion. But as soon as they reach their 40th birthday, they suddenly notice their potency declining. Just at that very point of declining potency the myriad ailments will descend upon him like a swam of bees. If this situation continues unchecked, he will soon find himself beyond cure.

Dr. Sun repeatedly warned his male patients of the dangers involved in excessive ejaculation. He compared the situation to that of as sputtering oil-lamp: just before the fuel is spent and the lamp is about to extinguish, the flame suddenly flares up brightly, then dies:

Each and every time a man restrains himself and retains his semen it is like adding new oil to a lamp that is about to extinguish. But if a man fails to control himself and ejaculates every time he lies down with a woman, it is like removing oil from a lamp that is already nearly burnt out.

As Sun Ssu-mo sums up so well, ‘If a man squanders his semen, he will soon die. For a man, this is the most important point to remember about sex.’

If a man has no intercourse with a women, his mind will grow restless and he will yearn for female company…Forcibly suppressing the natural urge to emit semen at certain intervals is not only difficult for a man but will actually make it easier to lose semen. He will lose it during sleep through nocturnal emissions [i.e., wet dreams] …One emission of semen in this manner is equivalent to the loss suffered by one hundred emissions during normal sexual intercourse.

Sun Ssu-mo’s advice to men on regulating ejaculation frequency can be summarized as follows:

By the age of 30, a man begins to lose vitality and should stop squandering his semen recklessly. It is time to give up the habit of masturbation and to become acquainted with the Tao of Yin and Yang.

By the age of 40, a man has reached the critical turning point in his life. If he wishes to prevent the rapid downhill slide into the grave which undisciplined sexual relations cause at this stage in life, he must now start practicing ejaculation control as a habit.

By the age of 50 his ejaculation frequency should be no more once every 20 days.

By the age of 60, most men should completely curtail ejaculation (but not intercourse). Exceptionally healthy men with strong libidos, however, may continue emitting semen about once a month, or, better yet, once in every 100 coition’s.

By the age of 70, if a man is still hale and hearty, he may continue using Dr. Sun’s ideal measure of once in every 100 indefinitely.

Practicing ejaculation control is just as important for strong, healthy males as it is for the weak and elderly. Those who’s start this regimen early in life avoid the worst ravages of old age, retard the loss of vital energy and live longer lives than those who wait until middle age to begin.

For most men, complete abstention from ejaculation is just as harmful as excessive emission. It creates a deep yearning for sex that disrupts the harmony of essence, energy and spirit, and ultimately leads to the even greater loss of sexual essence and energy through the uncontrollable, intense ejaculations caused by ‘wet dreams’.

In order to determine your own ideal emission schedule, you must first master the methods of semen retention introduced below, then follow the guidelines already given in a trial-and -error appraisal of your own vitality.

An ejaculation should leave a man feeling as light and refreshed as a woman feels after orgasm- not exhausted, empty and uninterested in further sex.

Such an ejaculation may be experienced only when semen supply is what the Chinese call “full” and “flourishing”. If an ejaculation leaves you tired and depressed, you should increase the interval between emissions.

You may also help minimize the loss of essence and energy due to semen emission by learning to ‘come lightly’ when you choose to ejaculate.

Instead of thrusting to a frenzy just prior to ejaculation, approach the brink slowly and gently and savor the exquisite sensation of release, then deliberately ‘squeeze off’ the urogential canal with a deep contraction of the anus and penile shaft before ejaculation is over. This will conserve about 20-30 per cent of your semen while still providing the desired ejaculatory release. Immediately after emission, rhythmically contract the entire urogenital diaphragm for a minute or two by practicing anal sphincter locks. This tightens up the pelvic floor, which becomes loose and flaccid after ejaculation, and thereby prevents post-coital loss of chee through the perineum, anus and urogenital canal. This exercise is highly beneficial for women as well, because it prevents loss of chee through the vagina and encourages sexual energy to move up the spinal channels to the brain.

Since few men will be induced to adopt such a disciplined and unconventional approach to sexual relations unless thoroughly convinced by personal experience of its necessity and efficacy, here are a few simple experiments any man may perform to establish the truth of Tao is sex:

Try engaging in a vigorous bout of intercourse about half an hour before participating in an athletic event or stage performance- once with ejaculation and once without - and compare your resulting performances. You’ll be amazed by the difference.

Or try intercourse with and without ejaculation late at night and compare the amount of sleep you need and how you feel upon arising the next morning.

An even more stark comparison is the difference in vitality felt throughout the day after having sexual intercourse first thing in the morning, with and without ejaculation.

Try experimenting with other factors as well, such as weather, mood and physical condition. You will most certainly notice a profound difference in how you feel after intercourse with and without ejaculation on freezing cold day in mid-winter, when, as Peng-Tze point out, ‘one ejaculation is one hundred times more harmful than one in spring’.

Men who sharply reduce their emission frequencies during the winter season without reducing intercourse suffer far less from colds, influenza, chills, and winter ‘blues’ and other symptoms related to cold weather. And when you’re feeling in ‘low spirits’ to start with, ejaculation will only drag you deeper into depression, while a prolonged bout without emission of semen is an excellent way to ‘pick up your spirits’.

The same goes for physical condition: when a man is ailing, the loss of semen only makes his condition worse by robbing him of his greatest source of resistance just when he needs it most. Disciplined intercourse, on the other hand, is an excellent palliative for many chronic ailments, especially those influenced by hormone levels. Miles Davis and Mohammed Ali came to these conclusions in precisely this manner- by trial and error- and so can you.

Every man must establish his own ideal emission rate as an overall guideline, but he must also consider the unique circumstances of each occasion before deciding whether it is appropriate to ejaculate or not.

The calendar may tell you that it is time to treat yourself to an ejaculation, but if you happen to be drunk at the time, or gorged with food, or ill, then you’d best forgo that brief spasm of pleasure and keep your batteries fully charged. In the Taoist text entitled ESSENTIALS FOR NURTURING LIFE, we find the following warning:

Ejaculation is strictly forbidden when a man is drunk or gorged with food. Such emissions injure a man a hundred times more than under normal conditions and may cause dizziness and ugly sores."

That’s more attention given to ejaculation than in a cumshot compilation!

Toot, that was the longest (and at times the funniest) post I’ve seen here in a while.

Despite the obvious factual errors in some of that reasoning (like women don’t ejaculate) it was an entertaining read. I kept thinking of Gen. Jack Ripper from Dr. Strangelove and the commie conspiracy to sap and impurify our bodily fluids. It’s medically recommended that a man should not go 28 days without ejaculating. It’s also important for a man (a young man at least) to keep the system running, turnovers so to speak. It’s also exaggerated the effects of post orgasmic slump. A few hours and some re-hydration and you’re back to your bad old self. Only wusses talk about being depleted after letting go of their “precious” fluids. Sex without a proper and full “release” would be intolerable torture.

Still a great post!

Toot, that was the longest (and at times the funniest) post I’ve seen here in a while.

That was just something I copy and pasted. So I can’t take all the credit for it[cool]

I believe you’ll find alot of what was written in thin book…

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tao-Health-Sex-Longevity-Practical/dp/067164811X

oh yeah? well explain rasputin the mad monk… he fucked like a beast apparently and they had quite the hard time killing that guy…

you also forgot to point out that semen has protien in it

you also forgot to point out that semen has protien in it

You mean “they” forgot to…I’ve got nothing to do with this semen madness!

Back to Jesu…JUSTIN RULES!!!

I’m in a band with the guy in the cap, heh heh. sounds like you had a good time Toot. sad I couldn’t make it though.