The Thread About NOTHING!

Discussion
436

I had a date once that went completely fantastic…right up until the end. Same scenario - dinner, stroll, coffee at my place. We kissed goodnight and made plans to meet up again. Twenty minutes later she’s turned around, driven back and is parking her car in my driveway. Turns out she’s left her house keys on my bedroom dresser. She knocked on the front door but I didn’t hear her so she lets herself in. She can hear the television on in the back room and walks in to tell me what she’s doing - only to find me wearing nothing but a male g string - which was by that point down around my feet somewhere - and masturbating furiously to a XXX porn dvd where a Thai transexual was being fucked both in the mouth and in the ass by two black dudes with massive cocks.

Needless to say that was the end of that.

437

The date was going well. It was our third. That evening we had been out to a fancy Italian restaurant, had a lovely meal, took a long moonlit stroll through the restaurant district, stopped to looked at some puppies in a pet shop window and finally decided to go back to my place for coffee.

There was a bit of necking when we got there but nothing heavy. I excused myself at one point to go and get changed into a comfy tee shirt and tracksuit pants but left the door open whilst I did so. She saw me briefly in my underwear as she walked past the bedroom door and gave a slight “ooops, sorry” but seemed ok after.

Sat next to each other on the couch. She seemed to be enjoying the movie. Then came the love scene. Girl in the movie was seen briefly full frontal and there was a blink and you’ll miss it close up crotch shot of a full bush. Guy was naked but had one arm always strategically placed. My date seemed a little on edge. The love scen only lasted about 2 minutes. About ten minutes after it was over, my date got up and said “thanks for the evening but I’m sorry I’'m going to have go now.” I asked her if anything was wrong and asked if she thought the movie was inappropriate.

She didn’t really answer, just said it was nice to have met me and good luck. I followed her to the car and tried to apologize but she shot me an irritated glance and drove off.

Hasn’t returned my calls this morning.

Sounds like it was probably a combination of everything and she got freaked out. Between you “slipping into something more comfortable” and the movie she might have (and you may or may not have been trying to engineer as much) thought you were trying to push things toward a particular physical result.

Give her some time. If there was anything there she might rethink everything and give you a chance later. Otherwise, it was probably over anyway.

438

I had a date once that went completely fantastic…right up until the end. Same scenario - dinner, stroll, coffee at my place. We kissed goodnight and made plans to meet up again. Twenty minutes later she’s turned around, driven back and is parking her car in my driveway. Turns out she’s left her house keys on my bedroom dresser. She knocked on the front door but I didn’t hear her so she lets herself in. She can hear the television on in the back room and walks in to tell me what she’s doing - only to find me wearing nothing but a male g string - which was by that point down around my feet somewhere - and masturbating furiously to a XXX porn dvd where a Thai transexual was being fucked both in the mouth and in the ass by two black dudes with massive cocks.

Needless to say that was the end of that.

I guess I don’t know you well enough to know if you’re being serious or just practicing some creative writing, but that story . . . IS AWESOME!

439

The date was going well. It was our third. That evening we had been out to a fancy Italian restaurant, had a lovely meal, took a long moonlit stroll through the restaurant district, stopped to looked at some puppies in a pet shop window and finally decided to go back to my place for coffee.

There was a bit of necking when we got there but nothing heavy. I excused myself at one point to go and get changed into a comfy tee shirt and tracksuit pants but left the door open whilst I did so. She saw me briefly in my underwear as she walked past the bedroom door and gave a slight “ooops, sorry” but seemed ok after.

Sat next to each other on the couch. She seemed to be enjoying the movie. Then came the love scene. Girl in the movie was seen briefly full frontal and there was a blink and you’ll miss it close up crotch shot of a full bush. Guy was naked but had one arm always strategically placed. My date seemed a little on edge. The love scen only lasted about 2 minutes. About ten minutes after it was over, my date got up and said “thanks for the evening but I’m sorry I’'m going to have go now.” I asked her if anything was wrong and asked if she thought the movie was inappropriate.

She didn’t really answer, just said it was nice to have met me and good luck. I followed her to the car and tried to apologize but she shot me an irritated glance and drove off.

Hasn’t returned my calls this morning.

You had me at tracksuit…

440

I detest coming here and seeing the top thread is …

441

This seems to be the general area for posting about things that ruffle one’s feathers, so…

I just had the publisher-to-be of my latest book write me from Berlin and say that, after a year of foot-dragging, they will have to “drop the project” owing to some previously unforeseen financial problems.

To say I am pissed off is a bit of an understatement, especially since one of the stipulations of the now voided contract was that I not even mention who is releasing the book, and under no circumstances post excerpts of it or share with people outside of that organization. So, rather than being able to generate interest during all that time, I’ve sat back and basically been invisible to anyone who might want to read what I’ve done (for the record, I’m doing a book on synesthesia and its influence on art and music throughout history.)

I now have to do precisely what I had hoped the publisher would take care of: wasting countless hours again on sending out promo / sampler packs, and then (if I have to eventually self-publish), countless more hours on trying to woo distributors and brick-and-mortar stores etc. I’m not greatly excited about this since I need to look for a more stable job and need to help my family, to whatever extent I can, through a crisis of their own.

At times like this I often wonder what got me into writing. It’s near-thankless work done for tiny niche audiences, who you will only reach in the first place if you can survive your work getting savaged by editors, or wait for years for your work to appear once you’ve finished it, or not get fed up by constant deferment of royalties. And yet I just keep getting sucked back into it.

442

^^^

Let me know if I can assist in a sorta
“Street” team way…

444

[reply]The date was going well. It was our third. That evening we had been out to a fancy Italian restaurant, had a lovely meal, took a long moonlit stroll through the restaurant district, stopped to looked at some puppies in a pet shop window and finally decided to go back to my place for coffee.

There was a bit of necking when we got there but nothing heavy. I excused myself at one point to go and get changed into a comfy tee shirt and tracksuit pants but left the door open whilst I did so. She saw me briefly in my underwear as she walked past the bedroom door and gave a slight “ooops, sorry” but seemed ok after.

Sat next to each other on the couch. She seemed to be enjoying the movie. Then came the love scene. Girl in the movie was seen briefly full frontal and there was a blink and you’ll miss it close up crotch shot of a full bush. Guy was naked but had one arm always strategically placed. My date seemed a little on edge. The love scen only lasted about 2 minutes. About ten minutes after it was over, my date got up and said “thanks for the evening but I’m sorry I’'m going to have go now.” I asked her if anything was wrong and asked if she thought the movie was inappropriate.

She didn’t really answer, just said it was nice to have met me and good luck. I followed her to the car and tried to apologize but she shot me an irritated glance and drove off.

Hasn’t returned my calls this morning.

Sounds like it was probably a combination of everything and she got freaked out. Between you “slipping into something more comfortable” and the movie she might have (and you may or may not have been trying to engineer as much) thought you were trying to push things toward a particular physical result.

Give her some time. If there was anything there she might rethink everything and give you a chance later. Otherwise, it was probably over anyway.[/reply]

IMO, you were way too slow to make your move (if you are both over age 30, this was most likely the case); thus, she exited at a point of convenience never to return because she felt the two of you were going nowhere together.

From my own POV, I wouldn’t have thought twice about what you did when you changed clothes/left the door open or about the movie content because it’s your place, you were not leaving, and both people are adults who should be able to handle watching adult content.

447

I guess I don’t know you well enough to know if you’re being serious or just practicing some creative writing, but that story . . . IS AWESOME!

If anything I downplayed just how weird that evening got.

No, it’s all true, I’m afraid. The entire incident took me about 3 months to get over.

And the dvd wasn’t even mine. I’m not really “into” Asian TS shit (not that I’m dissing anyone who is. if that’s your thing then that’s your thing and it’s none of my business).

But I was really hoping to score with that girl as she was unbelievably hot. But it was late and she left early to get up for work the next morning with the promise of getting together again soon.

To be honest I was punching way above my weight with her but she had been friends with my ex (whom I was also punching above my weight with, if I am to be honest with myself) and you know what girls are like. When one of them has something, all the others have to have it too - even if they wouldn’t have been interested under different circumstances.

So we bonded - the “mega babe” and I. I really put the squeeze on her and acted as if I was an emotional over the break up. And she fell for it hook line and sinker.

Anyway I was horny as hell and had to let off some steam. So I got comfortable, threw on a dvd that my buddy had lent me and slapped some bacon.

Too bad I got nabbed in the process.

448

^^^

Let me know if I can assist in a sorta
“Street” team way…

Thanks boss! Will let you know when this project finally takes a concrete form.

I feel badly for interrupting everyone’s date chat. Would contribute something myself, but…my romantic history is not only depressing and soul-cauterizing, it’s depressing and soul-cauterizing in such a way that doesn’t even make for a good story or a helpful don’t-do-what-I-did ‘cautionary fable.’

449

I had a blind date with a “cute” girl that turned out to be only cute to her mom. It was at a girls dorm and after about 10 minutes I said I had to “go to the bathroom” so that I could leave. She said that guys had to be escorted to the bathroom in the dorm and that she had to guard the door. Made sense I guess since it was a girls dorm. But, of course, that messed up my plan. Luckily, there was a window that I could open in the bathroom and luckily it was on the first floor. I wondered how long that “cute” girl guarded the door before she checked on me. That’s what she gets for lying.

She sort of got me back by having her friend call me at 3AM telling me it was campus police and that they needed to talk to me. I didn’t really buy it though, so I called back to campus police to see if they needed anything from me and they said no. I didn’t have caller ID at the time to know who was calling.

This sounds like a sub plot of an 80s teen sex comedy…

450

[reply]I had a blind date with a “cute” girl that turned out to be only cute to her mom. It was at a girls dorm and after about 10 minutes I said I had to “go to the bathroom” so that I could leave. She said that guys had to be escorted to the bathroom in the dorm and that she had to guard the door. Made sense I guess since it was a girls dorm. But, of course, that messed up my plan. Luckily, there was a window that I could open in the bathroom and luckily it was on the first floor. I wondered how long that “cute” girl guarded the door before she checked on me. That’s what she gets for lying.

She sort of got me back by having her friend call me at 3AM telling me it was campus police and that they needed to talk to me. I didn’t really buy it though, so I called back to campus police to see if they needed anything from me and they said no. I didn’t have caller ID at the time to know who was calling.

This sounds like a sub plot of an 80s teen sex comedy…[/reply]

Man
Also sounds like some chickenshit shit…

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… since one of the stipulations of the now voided contract was that I not even mention who is releasing the book, and under no circumstances post excerpts of it or share with people outside of that organization.

Well, now that those contracts are voided you are not held to their stipulations. who was the publisher? tell us who fucked you over? show us on the doll where they touched you!!!

452

… who was the publisher? tell us who fucked you over? show us on the doll where they touched you!!!

Turn it over…

454

[reply][reply][reply]I had a blind date with a “cute” girl that turned out to be only cute to her mom. It was at a girls dorm and after about 10 minutes I said I had to “go to the bathroom” so that I could leave. She said that guys had to be escorted to the bathroom in the dorm and that she had to guard the door. Made sense I guess since it was a girls dorm. But, of course, that messed up my plan. Luckily, there was a window that I could open in the bathroom and luckily it was on the first floor. I wondered how long that “cute” girl guarded the door before she checked on me. That’s what she gets for lying.

She sort of got me back by having her friend call me at 3AM telling me it was campus police and that they needed to talk to me. I didn’t really buy it though, so I called back to campus police to see if they needed anything from me and they said no. I didn’t have caller ID at the time to know who was calling.

This sounds like a sub plot of an 80s teen sex comedy…[/reply]

Man
Also sounds like some chickenshit shit…[/reply]

Definitely. I never said I was proud. :)[/reply]

I’ve done worse. So, since we’re talking about acting less than chivalrous . . . .

A night of drinking and shooting pool with my homie ended up with this other friendly fellow hanging out with us. He ended up coming back to my apartment with us so we could keep on partying.

Well, he ended up being a little TOO friendly and tried to get frisky with me. I was drunk and NOT in the mood to be sexed up by some gay dude, as flattering as that might typically be, so I reciprocated by shouting at him and telling him he needed to get the eff out before I beat him to death. My buddy was kind of apologetic like, “Sorry, Man”, but he told the guy straight up that there was really nothing that could be done when I snap like that. So he left.

The next day when I woke up I found the dude’s backpack of stuff in my apartment, along with some keys, both of which had obviously been forgotten during the chaos.

So I did what any respectful 20-something jackass would do . . . . tossed them in the dumpster.

That was probably not the best move (I suppose I could have just left them outside my door for a day or two in case he came by) especially considering he knew where I lived and could easily set my place on fire or murder me.

I think he must have been properly terrified, though, as I never saw or heard from him again.

456

Once me and my friendz had some party and it was in pyjamas and we watched some Prince video and he was real sexy and we took off our pyjama pants and started to rub and touch each other and I weed some icky stuff on the carpet and we laughed and all hugged and stuff.

It was werrd.

[:|]

457

Wow,teh geigh escalated quickly in this thread…

458

Wow,teh geigh escalated quickly in this thread…

Since Peligro is friends with the guy that posts nude pics of himself on gay porn sites, I’m thinking that is a true story.

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[reply]Wow,teh geigh escalated quickly in this thread…

Since Peligro is friends with the guy that posts nude pics of himself on gay porn sites, I’m thinking that is a true story.[/reply]

Oh for sure…

461

All right you fags! Let’s all just settle down and stop faggin’ around. There’s enough faggitry on the internets without us gettin’ pulled into their world of faggity faggin’, okay? Now we all probably got some tales of fagness locked in the vaults somewhere but let’s all just keep it locked up where the fag stuff belongs, okay? I only told my tale so you could clearly see that I am no fag. And to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt I left out the part about where i had a wardrobe malfunction, accidentally lost my pants, and then fell face first onto his wiener. I think he used voodoo on me. You know how them queers can be. So anyway, no more fag stuff. I find it repulsive and creepy.