Let’s face it, Hollywood today is a pretty barren and uneventful place.
For those of us old enough to remember the halcyon days of the early to mid 80’s when the Spielbergs and the Lucases and the De Palma’s ruled the roost, going to the cinema used to be a pretty memorable experience. Films that defined a generation were released almost weekly -
ET, Gremlins, Ghostbusters, The Karate Kid, Romancing The Stone, The Cannonball Run, The Outsiders …the list is endless. Mainstream cinema shone with an effervescent originality and a purpose, entrancing movie-goers the world over with well written characters, dialogue that was peppy and weighted with emotional depth and plots that rarely failed to win us over.
Cut to 2014 and it’s a pretty dreary world, movie wise. Films are either rehashed remakes, clunky superhero bullshit or cartoon cgi shitfests made exclusively for retards.
So I thought we could do our bit to give Hollywood the boost it needs to lift itself out of these financially successful but creatively bankrupt times.
Inspired by the band name thread, I suggest we each come up with a plot to a film we’d like to see made. The challenge is that no film title is to be included, just a short punchy sell that is no more than two sentences.
Perhaps then, we may see a revival in cinema not seen since the heady days of The Never Ending Story.
The “wackier” the better.
For example:
[b]A gay couple open a frozen yoghurt stand in Queens during the time of the Watergate scandal.
A family of human faeces experience love, heartbreak and the joys of cooking in their home in a Lisbon sewer.
An elf, a barbarian and a crippled, wheelchair bound mute go on an epic quest across a magical landscape to reclaim a roll of scotch tape stolen from them by an evil ruler who desires nothing more than to enslave the entire world for no apparent reason.
A litigious widow is convinced her recently deceased husband is having an affair in the afterlife.
A Libyan refugee is granted magical powers over women by a wise cracking genie and becomes a serial rapist.
A group of recently paroled paedophiles form a garage rock band and stage a concert to raise cash for animals with eating disorders.
24 hours in the life of the actor who played Steve Urkel.
Two donkeys protest hypocrisy in front of the Wall Street Stock Exchange.
The Earth narrowly avoids being hit by a piece of debris left over from a satellite launch.
A David Bowie lookalike is shot while buying eggs at a 7-11.
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