HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…
[laugh]
Sorry…I’ll start again. So word has it that…HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…oh dear…oh…OK. Here goes…
<takes deep breath>
Alright. Metallica have made a movie. It’s called Through The Never. It’s in 3D*. Or so they tell me. It’s not a doco a la Some Kind Of Monster. It’s…a movie. With a plot. And actors. And everything:
As Metallica performs a roaring live set for fans in a sold-out arena, a young roadie named Trip (Dane DeHaan) is sent on a mission to meet a disabled truck and retrieve a particular item. However, the routine task turns into a surreal odyssey when Trip’s van is hit by another vehicle and he subsequently finds himself up against a death-dealing horseman. As Trip flees through desolate streets, he has only his wits to help him avoid the deadly horseman and deliver Metallica’s cargo.
Yeah. OK. Right that sounds like a…
SO I guess my question is. . . . . . well, I don’t rightly know, to be honest.
For fuck’s sake Metallica have made a fucking movie!!!
Oh, yeah! I’m aware. It sounds/ looks like an awful, epicly self-fellating pile of shark jumping wankage that only Metallica could allow to be birthed into the universe. To put it succinctly . . . HOLY CRAP THIS LOOKS GAY!!! Way to redeem yourselves from that Lou Reed debacle, fellas!
So he meets a horseman?! Are there 3 others? And will all the song titles have their own scenes? I can see the sandman entering their bus as james tries to sleep after a particularly rowdy show. Or maybe they will be used as script dialogue…
“I don’t want to go get your cargo”
“If you don’t you’re fired”
“Really?”
“Sad but true.”
“So nothing else matters… other than me getting your cargo?”
“Well if you’re going to throw a tantrum over our task and be all st anger about it maybe you shouldn’t load or reload any of our equipment on to the truck either”
This could end up being so bad its good.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Haha, i’m looking forward to it, it looks very nicely shot. That’s all it takes to make me happy sometimes, music that i like set to some nice images. Metallica should have been executed after Lulu, though. Well, Lou Reed should have been executed, Metallica should have been made to watch, with the warning “Fail us again and you’ll be sitting in Lou’s seat”.
^
Yeah, I think the movie is going to be ridiculous, but it’s kooky and stupid and I think going in knowing that I’ll enjoy it for it’s own cheesy idiocy.
I kind of look at this as a chance to listen to my favorite Metallica songs in super loud HD THX Double Dolby Stereo Theatre Surround Sound, or whatever it’s called. Also, a cheesy 3-D movie with loud Metallica songs . . . . that’s just BEGGING me to show up drunk!
I liked when Metallica mentions in movies were saved for piteous characters like The Dude. Curiously now there seems to be a generation of filmmakers using them in their production as a cultural touchstone d’jour. Revered by the lead in “Silver Linings Playbook”, early works scoring key scenes in crap like “Project X” and most baffling, the entire existence of “Hesher” from a few years back. Call me out for sounding like an elitist asshole but when you’re on a platform to expose artists who aren’t world famous multi-millionaires then why not? No one cares if their early music touched your special place as a boy and inspired you to incorporate it into your worthless film. Sorry. One of the last pet peeves I’d have expected to develop the last few years.
Oh, this movie. It’s Metallica, a band notorious for dunderheaded decisions. “3-D has never sounded this heavy”. That’s the best they were able to bring to the marketing table, really? James’ voice is abysmal, though that’s to be expected. I’ll leave this slightly positive: the lead actor was okay in “Chronicle”. Here he has heavy competition with Trujillo as the Crab man.
The horseman makes this look like a Tenacious D bit.
I’m a Metallica fan for life, but they are pretty far up their own asses and have a hard time seeing reality anymore. They make so many Spinal Tappish moves that, while my gut reaction is often projectile vomiting or a desire to stab James and Lars with a pitchfork, their moronic missteps also kind of endear me to them. I guess in a similar
way that I adore Yngwie and Danzig.
I liked Metallica when I was a youngster from Kill’Em All up to the Black Album and wod probably still find some enjoyment listening to some of those songs under headphones…however I haven’t heard them for years although I did see the Some Kind Of Monster due to hype of the awesome gay-ness of them.
I read a ton a Lars dissing on the net but have never really worked out if folk have a reason or simply don’t like the man for whatever reason. Personally I think he’s totally awesome…and it has nothing to do with drumming ability or bad-ass Metallica songs…just watch the documentary film Mission To Lars and you’ll know why. In fact anyone who watches that film and STILL comes away thinking Lars is a douche must have been personally wronged by the man?!
and most baffling, the entire existence of “Hesher” from a few years back.
aww… i really liked that movie. haha.
also, i actually dug the Lulu album. a lot. i wasnt really all that big of a fan of Death Magnetic (the instrumental song is amazing, and some of the other songs are classy, but in general its like a 7 out of 10 or even a 6) but i really liked Lulu, and yes… i even found myself drawn to most of St. Anger. the Loads are kinda… just… there. i dont really care about them. the black album is HELLA front loaded, but still solid, and the classics are fucking classic. so in general, musically, i dig metallica. and i though Some Kind Of Monster was actually a really strong rock-doc. as for this movie, i have no interest. also, no hatred, its just a thing that is happening that i will just sorta not care about.
again though, ‘The Unnamed Feeling’ and ‘All Within My Hands’ from St. Anger are deadly songs. and i dont care what any of ya’ll think. hahaha.
I liked Hesher too…quite a bit actually…the kid in that movie was a terrific actor…I can’t remember his name…he was incredible…and it seems like he is one of those actors we might not see again…a one and done…I hope not as he did an amazing job…great movie that was touching without being gushy or overly sentimental…
I’m a Metallica fan for life, but they are pretty far up their own asses and have a hard time seeing reality anymore. They make so many Spinal Tappish moves that, while my gut reaction is often projectile vomiting or a desire to stab James and Lars with a pitchfork, their moronic missteps also kind of endear me to them. I guess in a similar
way that I adore Yngwie and Danzig.
This is pretty much why this movie cannot be taken seriously beyond the realm of Spinal Tappery. And why I’m gonna go see it at IMAX with a bag of popcorn and magic mushrooms and have the time of my life.
I’m not sure what they’re trying to achieve by this, but nonetheless, as a promo for the film they did a secret gig at a comic con or whatever and played basically all their old (good) shit: http://www.bravewords.com/news/207833
Dunno why they wasted it on the comic con folks but whatever.
They did a surprise gig at the Orion Festival (their stupid festival featuring a bunch of crap I couldn’t care less about) where they played the entire KILL 'EM ALL album. I would pay to see that!
From the very little that I’ve bothered reading about it and the trailers, etc, I think that the actual Metallica guys don’t actually star in the film as any characters or play any plot roles. I think it’s more or less a long extended video / music high concept “art” film piece, a la “The Wall”, or perhaps a heavy metal revisionist “Fantasia”, haha!
I think if Lars and James and the gang are in the movie it’ll be as themselves, playing a concert or something.
I’m trying not to know too much about this film. I’m gonna go in a proper state of mind, laugh uncontrollably and likely get kicked out half-way through.
This is bizarre. I don’t get it. They should make a movie with this shit but only play LULU… and only play it three times in a row slowly down each time they play it until it ends in a slow, confusing, ridiculous halt of bullfuck.
I do like “Junior Dad” from the LULU album a lot though, I admit it. It seems to succeed in what it was going for - unlike the rest of the album. It’s sad, hits deep, and does a great job of bringing up the emotions and feelings of having a shitty father who was never around while growing up and when he was it was never positive and the fear, while getting older, that you’ve become him or are closer to becoming him with every birthday. Because that sort of “father son relationship” is all you know. It’s good and seems genuine in it’s words. Music is real nice too.
Then again I am one of those faggots that likes their mid to late 90s stuff like Load and ReLoad and Garage Inc.. Damn, I even like their S&M album a lot. It’s better than the shit that came after it and certainly seemed more sincere.