Pretty much anything by Jack Handy. This is one of my favorites:
If trees could scream do you think we would be so cavalier as to cutting them down? Maybe if they screamed all the time for no good reason.
[reply][reply][reply][reply][reply][reply]“All you do is hang around to fuck my mother and eat her food! Motherfucker! Food eater!”
“I wouldn’t even joke about that, Clarissa!”[/reply]
“You think I’d at least rate a Michelob! Ugghh!! It’s warm even!”[/reply]
“Russia is gearing up to kick our ass!”[/reply]
“I have this philosophy. You do shit. It’s done. And then you die.”[/reply]
“There’s my leg. I wonder if there’s any beer in that can…”[/reply]
“Oh, fuck off, Kevin! Wasting pigs is radical, Man!”[/reply]
What’s interesting is that the gentleman with the Crispin Glover / River’s Edge avatar hasn’t chimed in on any of this yet.
Anybody here heard the record album he put out some time ago? The one with the Charles Manson cover and the 3-part ode to masturbation on it?
Timeless wisdom from Sun Ra, while working at the ‘Outer Space Employment Agency’ in the epic film “Space is the Place”:
[Drunk walks into Sun Ra’s employment agency]
Drunk: My man, what’s happenin?
Sun Ra: Everything is happenin.
Drunk: What is this… I mean what… where am I? Who is you?
Sun Ra: I am everything, and nuthin.
Drunk: Nuthin? Well you betta tell me about this nuthin stuff, cause, uh, I need a job. I… I don’t know what to do.
Sun Ra: What have you been doin lately?
Drunk: Uh huh uh, nuthin, really, nuthin.
Sun Ra: How long have you been doing nuthin?
Drunk: Quite some time. Quite some time.
Sun Ra: You must be an expert at it.
Drunk: Got my B.A., ya see.
Sun Ra: We’ll hire you to do that.
Drunk: How much I get paid, man?
Sun Ra: Nuthin.
Drunk: Nuthin? NUTHIN? I got to have sumthin so I can get me anotha botty. I can’t go for that shit!
[reply][reply][reply][reply][reply][reply][reply]“All you do is hang around to fuck my mother and eat her food! Motherfucker! Food eater!”
“I wouldn’t even joke about that, Clarissa!”[/reply]
“You think I’d at least rate a Michelob! Ugghh!! It’s warm even!”[/reply]
“Russia is gearing up to kick our ass!”[/reply]
“I have this philosophy. You do shit. It’s done. And then you die.”[/reply]
“There’s my leg. I wonder if there’s any beer in that can…”[/reply]
“Oh, fuck off, Kevin! Wasting pigs is radical, Man!”[/reply]
What’s interesting is that the gentleman with the Crispin Glover / River’s Edge avatar hasn’t chimed in on any of this yet.
Anybody here heard the record album he put out some time ago? The one with the Charles Manson cover and the 3-part ode to masturbation on it?[/reply]
Right? All I’ve heard Crispin Glover do was that cover of Michael Jackson’s “Ben” for the movie Willard.
“I also play guitar by the way.”
He put out that nutty Clowny Clown album in the 80s too…
He put out that nutty Clowny Clown album in the 80s too…
Yes, that’s the one: “The Big Problem (does not equal) The Solution…The Solution = Let it Be.”
It’s exactly what you would expect from somebody who was born with ‘Hellion’ as a legitimate middle name.
He put out that nutty Clowny Clown album in the 80s too…
Clowny Clown Clown is an amazing song.
Clowny Clown Clown is an amazing song.
It is, quite possibly, one of the only things related to clowns that I can stomach, along with Shakes the Clown and the rock-n-roll clown Dr. Rockso.
“I do cocaine.”
–Dr. Rockso
“MIMES!!!”
“You silent motherfucker, yeeeaaahh!!!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5srwCNx2Ti0
I love how Robin Williams is credited under a pseudonym in that movie…as if receiving a proper acting credit was somehow going to result in some loss of his sterling reputation
[reply]“MIMES!!!”
“You silent motherfucker, yeeeaaahh!!!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5srwCNx2Ti0
I love how Robin Williams is credited under a pseudonym in that movie…as if receiving a proper acting credit was somehow going to result in some loss of his sterling reputation[/reply]
Yeah, really! The hairy-armed dipshit is rolling around giving his pitch for “RV” or “Jack” or something and he’s afraid someone might ask him about one thing he did that didn’t just royally suck ass.
Let me see if I have the lyrics right, it’s been a while…
“I’m an auto-manipulator. I play with myself, I’m a masturbator.”
-Crispin Hellion Glover
It is, quite possibly, one of the only things related to clowns that I can stomach
Did you ever hear Groovie Mann’s side project Katastrophe Klown? Sounds like a modern day Special Affect at moments.
Went to the local antisocial bookstore-n-bistro today, grabbed a volume and ‘randomly’ opened to this quote, which forced a chuckle:
"The exploits of the dim-witted people of Mols, in Jutland, are legendary in Scandinavia.
In one story, their plan to farm fish in the village pool was defeated because one of the fish was an eel, which ate all the others. Since burning, hanging, and whipping were too good for it, they decided to drown the eel at sea.
On being returned to its element, the eel thrashed joyfully, which the Mols people understood to be its writhing in terrible death pangs."
- Søren Kierkegaard, “Either / Or”
I love Shakes the Clown and I love Killer Klowns from Outer Space…
Hell yeah for Killer Klowns!
I was just thinking the same one yesterday when I saw the comment about all clown stuff sucking.
Ever watch Gay Niggers from Outer Space? I saw it online so downloaded it. I forgot what it was about, well, other than the gay niggers.
I’m guessing them gay niggers was from outer space, yeah?
I’m guessing them gay niggers was from outer space, yeah?
I also saw this some time ago, and I remember little about it except that the film action fulfills the promise of the title, and was made to be like a faux-‘vintage’ sci-fi with the titular characters providing the “fish out of water” guffaws.
^It’s on YouTube. After clicking on it last night I remember that I’d tried to watch it a couple years back. It’s quite dreadfully slow and horrible which is very upsetting. I really expected great things.