It’s no secret that the kids these days are into forming their “bands.” And apparently these bands need to have “names” to differentiate one from the other.
I feel for these kids, since coming up with a band name can be an intense, time-consuming process of soul-searching. All the good names like Nocturnal Emissions and Throbbing Gristle have been claimed long ago. And with so many possible band naming cliches to choose from, which one will be the most truly effective? The “band name with a date of the week in it” (e.g. Taking Back Sunday?) The “clever alliteration” band name (e.g. Limp Bizkit, Bang Tango?) The “reference to a minor celebrity who seems to have nothing to do with the band’s musical style” (e.g. Mr. T Experience, Kathleen Turner Overdrive?) Or, of course, the ol’ standby “girl’s name in band name = heightened emotional involvement or ‘mystery’” (Eve’s Plumb)? Or just “random, but not quite psychedelic, word jumble” (Neutral Milk Hotel?)
I say we use Prongs to provide up-and-coming bands a public service. Let’s use this space to provide them with some marquee-ready, cliché-powered band names (bonus points for assigning a band name to a specific musical genre.) In exchange for doing bands this favor, we’ll be doing ourselves a favor, too: knowing that any bands actually taking names from this list will be totally avoidable.
The Gooch
Russian Orthodox
Millie’s Poonwagon
Trisk R-K
The 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10’s
Yesterday’s Children Of God
From Here To The Kitten Factory
I Voted For Wendel
The Japanese Boat People
Beer Tit
Pyjama Party UK
<insert>
Caps Lock
Living Next Door To Danzig
You do realize that the next phase of my “community outreach” here is to have you make Comixxx-style debut album covers for each of the most “favorited” bands.
I picture Coofin Cats as most definitely a “shockabilly” band a la the Cramps. Although with lots of grammatical errors in the lyrics
What about Beer Tit? The Gooch? Oh come man…The Gooch!!!
How about:
The (martin) Atkins Diet???
Some ‘noise’ combo or another once sent me a disc, they were called Insects with Tits…
Any bets on how long The Martin Atkins Diet would last before getting sent a ‘cease and desist’ letter? I’d hate to see them suffer the same fate as REO Speed Dealer.
[reply]What about Beer Tit? The Gooch? Oh come man…The Gooch!!!
How about:
The (martin) Atkins Diet???
Some ‘noise’ combo or another once sent me a disc, they were called Insects with Tits…
Any bets on how long The Martin Atkins Diet would last before getting sent a ‘cease and desist’ letter? I’d hate to see them suffer the same fate as REO Speed Dealer.[/reply]
I’m not always in the prongs loop of things, so I have to ask, whats the deal with ‘coofin’?
I’ve seen it in a couple of other threads and am unaware as to its origin.
Gunnar now is your time to shine with a comixxx explaining it all!!
I started a death metal band once called Turdfuck.
After one of those all-night high school-era sessions of drinking coffee at the local diner, and trying to think of the most bizarre insults for each other, I think I convinced the local alterna-grunge superstars to gig out as “Shitneck.”
They since changed to a more conventional Band With A Day of the Week in It name, along with a predictable shift towards ‘emo’ style - cowards!
