guys, i’m on page 158.
hopefully i’ll change my mind… but this book is goddamned fucking stupid. al is a babbling nincompoop. a goddamned 3 year old.
I’ll likely skim through any parts about the last few albums because I couldn’t give a fuck less about the events that transpired while making shitty, generic music.
You honestly won’t probably need to. It’s surprisingly LIGHT on that era (I think most of us expected the book to be 90% about post-Barker Ministry, but it certainly is not. It’s actually pretty well balanced as far as covering the whole span of Ministry and Al’s life. Sure, there’s obvious BIAS and old wounds and a lot of flexing and pissing in the wind, but it really does cover the whole story (maybe not in the manner that Barkerphiles would like, though), or at least AL’S version thereof.
And yeah, haunted houses and alien visitations . . . go back to bed, Al. You’re drunk. Again.
As someone who would probably get lumped in as a “Barkerphile” I’ve found what I’ve read so far to be very enjoyable. It’s clearly biased but you’d have to be completely unfamiliar with Al and Ministry or a moron to expect otherwise before reading it. One part I surprisingly liked was Saccia’s last interview. It was really candid and kinda made me think about how legit Al’s claims are. Because Mike never came off as a loud-mouth asshole like Al. He seemed to be the more level-headed rationalist of the two.
The only real disappointment is the lack of info on a lot of the recording sessions. I don’t give a rats ass about Courtney Love or haunted boats. But even though I was bummed he didn’t go into more detail about the DOTS sessions I never really expected much info about it to begin with. I mean, it’s pretty obvious just from listening to the album alone (as amazing as it is) that Al was high as a kite at that point. Would have appreciated more info on the making of Filth Pig though. But I’m not sure the average person picking up a copy of the book would’ve given a shit about how that album came about to the extent I would anyway.
I’m surprised and relieved at how little the book has focused on his recent abortions. It’s weird because you want a really detailed biography by someone like Al but for those very same reasons you want such details you also won’t get them. You want all the dirt on the studio session and debauchery but because of the debauchery and drugs during the studio sessions you won’t get much info.
It’s entirely possible that Paul sucked running the band and didn’t handle the finances properly. Al, Angie, Mike, and Gibby all seem to think so.
That said, it’s also possible that he was doing the best he could when his partner was a borderline useless junkie. Al just comes off like a petty ingrate when he talks about Paul - “Me and Mikey were completely fucked up all the time and all we cared about was drugs, so I made Paul do all the work. What a fucking asshole that guy is!”
I’m also not a big fan of the attitude Al and Mike had that they were the cool kids by doing nothing but destroying themselves 24/7 while the “Book Club” guys were snobby nerds. I’m more apt to be sympathetic to the team that wants to get shit done and has a sense of responsibility.
The thing is, as with much of the book, Al goes on and on about how fucked up he was mentally and physically due to drugs. So, for the first time in years, I actually tried to sympathize with Al while reading this book but can’t do it rationally. He himself claims he was a fucked up, drugged up, asshole, who had to do crack and coke to function in the studio when not nodding off - and that’s the more respectable shit he did. I don’t know what I would do if I was in Paul’s position and being stuck around someone like that. If Paul sucked at running the band he can be easily forgiven considering what he had to put up with.
This book has intensified my empathy towards the FIX movie for Al though. Because it really does only focus on the negative aspects of Al during that period and while it’s entertaining it’s documented footage of a real individual. If someone documented half the “crazy” shit most people have done and then got it picked up and shown in theaters they’d be mortified. For some people one drunken night would be enough to cause them endless shame if it was shown to any random asshole with a ticket or a computer.
I kinda wonder what prompted him to slag cEvin Key and Dave Ogilvie again. Is it because they stole Ogre back from him again?
He (Al) himself claims he was a fucked up, drugged up, asshole, who had to do crack and coke to function in the studio when not nodding off - and that’s the more respectable shit he did.
This is pretty much anyone needs to know.
[reply][reply]
There’ so much i thought “Hmm, that’s bullshit”, but then it gets confirmed by someone else. Bizarre shit!
Exactly. I actually called out shenanigans on a particular episode in the book (“Can Trent Reznor do THIS?”) but actually got confirmation from a VERY intimate source that Al could indeed perform the acrobatic stunt.[/reply]
Not to, ahem, blow my own trumpet, but i can do it myself given the right circumstances and enough booze. Not in front of other people though, that would be a step too far. It’s not about the length, more about flexibility of the spine. Or maybe i just imagined it, i’m 99% certain i’ve done it when extremely drunk, could be wishful thinking, but it might explain why my neck’s always so sore…[/reply]
Can we start a thread on Jay_carton’s selfie? Are there any photos?
Yeah, you’re gonna do just fine here.
[reply][reply][reply]
There’ so much i thought “Hmm, that’s bullshit”, but then it gets confirmed by someone else. Bizarre shit!
Exactly. I actually called out shenanigans on a particular episode in the book (“Can Trent Reznor do THIS?”) but actually got confirmation from a VERY intimate source that Al could indeed perform the acrobatic stunt.[/reply]
Not to, ahem, blow my own trumpet, but i can do it myself given the right circumstances and enough booze. Not in front of other people though, that would be a step too far. It’s not about the length, more about flexibility of the spine. Or maybe i just imagined it, i’m 99% certain i’ve done it when extremely drunk, could be wishful thinking, but it might explain why my neck’s always so sore…[/reply]
Can we start a thread on Jay_carton’s selfie? Are there any photos?[/reply]
There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
I’m not so limber that i can suck my own nob and photograph it, that’s asking too much!
[reply]There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
I’m not so limber that i can suck my own nob and photograph it, that’s asking too much![/reply]
That’s what the timer mode is for! Or, if you have one of those Dark Ages “film cameras”, just asking your friendly local hobo to take it for you. Reward him with a visit to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
[reply][reply]There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
I’m not so limber that i can suck my own nob and photograph it, that’s asking too much![/reply]
That’s what the timer mode is for! Or, if you have one of those Dark Ages “film cameras”, just asking your friendly local hobo to take it for you. Reward him with a visit to an all-you-can-eat buffet.[/reply]
If i’m being totally honest, i’m ashamed of my superpowers. I hide it away for fear of being labelled a freak and an outcast, like those poor kids in that documentary, X-Men.
[reply][reply][reply]There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
I’m not so limber that i can suck my own nob and photograph it, that’s asking too much![/reply]
That’s what the timer mode is for! Or, if you have one of those Dark Ages “film cameras”, just asking your friendly local hobo to take it for you. Reward him with a visit to an all-you-can-eat buffet.[/reply]
If i’m being totally honest, i’m ashamed of my superpowers. I hide it away for fear of being labelled a freak and an outcast, like those poor kids in that documentary, X-Men.[/reply]
You can always just set up a web cam and if you need anyone to verify that you can indeed perform a selfie, I will be willing to suffer through watching you. Just for verification sake, mind you. Yeah.
[reply][reply][reply]There’s a buncha photos on tumblr of autofellatio. Jay probably has some up there already.
I’m not so limber that i can suck my own nob and photograph it, that’s asking too much![/reply]
That’s what the timer mode is for! Or, if you have one of those Dark Ages “film cameras”, just asking your friendly local hobo to take it for you. Reward him with a visit to an all-you-can-eat buffet.[/reply]
If i’m being totally honest, i’m ashamed of my superpowers. I hide it away for fear of being labelled a freak and an outcast, like those poor kids in that documentary, X-Men.[/reply]
Bet it doesn’t stop ya from practicing in private though, eh? You know, when you deserve a special treat. You know, like do the dishes, give yourself a blowie. Take out the trash, a quick kiss on the tip. Hard day at work? Jagercumbomb and hit the club.
Bet it doesn’t stop ya from practicing in private though, eh? You know, when you deserve a special treat. You know, like do the dishes, give yourself a blowie. Take out the trash, a quick kiss on the tip. Hard day at work? Jagercumbomb and hit the club.
When you start doing it while waiting for the bus it gets to be a bit of a problem [:(]
[reply]Bet it doesn’t stop ya from practicing in private though, eh? You know, when you deserve a special treat. You know, like do the dishes, give yourself a blowie. Take out the trash, a quick kiss on the tip. Hard day at work? Jagercumbomb and hit the club.
When you start doing it while waiting for the bus it gets to be a bit of a problem [:(][/reply]
“Quick kiss on the tip” should be the title of Al’s next album.
All the guys on here know that if they could do it, they would.
“Quick kiss on the tip” should be the title of Al’s next album.
That’s a good title and not an idiotic pun.
He’d never go for it.
I’m making a list of the stories in Al’s book that have some form of corroboration out of boredom.
• Al dated Aimee Mann and she wrote a song about him (by Aimee Mann)
• His apartment in Boston was haunted (by Patty Jourgensen)
• Paul Barker is a big meanie (by Angie, Mike, Gibby, and the guy who ran the I Hate Paul Barker website)
• Martin Atkins is a big meanie (by Meg Lee Chin, Chris Connelly, En Esch, Michael Gira, Sascha Konietzko, Genesis P-Orridge, William Tucker, all the people in his “school”…)
• Chris Connelly is a big meanie (by Sascha Konietzko and some people on YouTube)
• cEvin Key is a big meanie (by Martin Atkins)
• Terry Roberts raped a fan (by Sascha Konietzko, Jason Pettigrew and Chris Connelly)
• El Duce was run over by a train (by the coroner’s report)
• Al knocked Trent Reznor and Chris Vrenna out and shaved their heads (by Chris Vrenna)
• Courtney Love is a big meanie (by Kat Bjelland, Frances Cobain, Eric Erlandson, Dave Grohl, Kathleen Hanna, Marilyn Manson, Trent Reznor…)
• Al can perform fellatio on himself (by an anonymous source)
I never heard about issues between Chris and Sasha. Care to elaborate?
I’m making a list of the stories in Al’s book that have some form of corroboration out of boredom.
• Al dated Aimee Mann and she wrote a song about him (by Aimee Mann)
• His apartment in Boston was haunted (by Patty Jourgensen)
• Paul Barker is a big meanie (by Angie, Mike, Gibby, and the guy who ran the I Hate Paul Barker website)
• Martin Atkins is a big meanie (by Meg Lee Chin, Chris Connelly, En Esch, Michael Gira, Sascha Konietzko, Genesis P-Orridge, William Tucker, all the people in his “school”…)
• Chris Connelly is a big meanie (by Sascha Konietzko and some people on YouTube)
• cEvin Key is a big meanie (by Martin Atkins)
• Terry Roberts raped a fan (by Sascha Konietzko, Jason Pettigrew and Chris Connelly)
• El Duce was run over by a train (by the coroner’s report)
• Al knocked Trent Reznor and Chris Vrenna out and shaved their heads (by Chris Vrenna)
• Courtney Love is a big meanie (by Kat Bjelland, Frances Cobain, Eric Erlandson, Dave Grohl, Kathleen Hanna, Marilyn Manson, Trent Reznor…)
• Al can perform fellatio on himself (by an anonymous source)
I guess everyone needs a hobby. But I’d rather not make it a hobby of having to read you continously bitch and moan about Al’s bio. Yes, it’s probably most likely definitely probably surely with evidence according to what he said she said probably maybe bullshit.
And/or maybe get over it…? Just a thought. And if that thought hurts you I’ve got a hug for you too, buddy!
:fuckingfaggotsmileyface:
[reply]I’m making a list of the stories in Al’s book that have some form of corroboration out of boredom.
• Al dated Aimee Mann and she wrote a song about him (by Aimee Mann)
• His apartment in Boston was haunted (by Patty Jourgensen)
• Paul Barker is a big meanie (by Angie, Mike, Gibby, and the guy who ran the I Hate Paul Barker website)
• Martin Atkins is a big meanie (by Meg Lee Chin, Chris Connelly, En Esch, Michael Gira, Sascha Konietzko, Genesis P-Orridge, William Tucker, all the people in his “school”…)
• Chris Connelly is a big meanie (by Sascha Konietzko and some people on YouTube)
• cEvin Key is a big meanie (by Martin Atkins)
• Terry Roberts raped a fan (by Sascha Konietzko, Jason Pettigrew and Chris Connelly)
• El Duce was run over by a train (by the coroner’s report)
• Al knocked Trent Reznor and Chris Vrenna out and shaved their heads (by Chris Vrenna)
• Courtney Love is a big meanie (by Kat Bjelland, Frances Cobain, Eric Erlandson, Dave Grohl, Kathleen Hanna, Marilyn Manson, Trent Reznor…)
• Al can perform fellatio on himself (by an anonymous source)
I guess everyone needs a hobby. But I’d rather not make it a hobby of having to read you continously bitch and moan about Al’s bio. Yes, it’s probably most likely definitely probably surely with evidence according to what he said she said probably maybe bullshit.
And/or maybe get over it…? Just a thought. And if that thought hurts you I’ve got a hug for you too, buddy!
:fuckingfaggotsmileyface:[/reply]
Oh, I so totally meant every word of that post. That’s why I used words like “meanie” and focused on totally serious subjects like ghosts and oral sex. Because I’m so completely serious about it and not goofing around at all.
In all seriousness, though, I just thought it was pretty funny that some of the stories that seemed the most ridiculous actually have been confirmed. As to whether any of those people are actually “big meanies”, I have no earthly idea. I’m just easily amused by playground fights, I suppose.