Musical Facts

Discussion
1

The following are all musical facts. They are facts about musical people. You can dispute these facts and add facts of your own - but you cannot nor should you ever deny the factitiousness of these factual statements:

[b]Karen Carpenter stopped getting her period.

Stevie Nicks snorted coke off Don Henly’s cock.

Eddie Money believed in karma.

Sinatra was a fag basher.

Donna Summer gave amyl nitrate to handicapped kids.

Courtney Love has man hands.

Huey Lewis And The News.

Eno wore corduroy.

Tina Turner shaved her twat.

Debbie Gibson attempted suicide.

Eddie Van Halen drove a Volvo.

Frankie Valli filed for bankruptcy.

Jan and Dean were queer.

Billy Corgan drove a tractor.

Thurston Moore dated Pat Benetar.

Limahl auditioned for Motorhead.

Sebastian Bach hated chess.

Mama Cass was scared of public toilets.[/b]

2

Karen Carpenter stopped getting her period.

It’s cause she had an eating disorder. any woman that drops below a certain %age of body fat will stop getting her period. It’s not uncommon, especially for bulimics and anorexia sufferers.

Huey Lewis And The News.

…and the news what?

Debbie Gibson attempted suicide.

She has severe anxiety disorder I think she was a shut in for something like 8 years (if the rumors I heard were true)

She also dated Keith Morris of the circle Jerks and is kind of the inspiration behind they’re shitty single off of oddities, called “teenage electric” it was a nod to his girlfriend’s song “Electric Youth.”

Late,
grmpysmrf

3

So this is all joke stuff or the real deal? I have a feeling it’s a mixture of both. Very well, here’s some true:

A buddy of mine once sold Glen Benton (of Deicide) a ride on lawn mower.

I worked in a hotel many years ago. One day Belinda Carlisle stormed into the reception clutching her bleeding nose and crying. She made a call on a payphone then left. Nobody knew if they should ask her if she was ok. She looked pretty messed up.

I was at a festival once and saw J. Masics from Dinosaur Jr passed out on the ground in a pile of vomit. Poor guy.

I heard that Cher’s daughter became a man.

4

I heard that Cher’s daughter became a man.

True. He/she was on dancing with the stars and the christians freaked out because, “What kind of message are we sending to our kids?”
Late,
grmpysmrf

5

Karen Carpenter stopped getting her period.

And Richard was a drug addict who later married his cousin. (Though they were not, apparently, biologically related)

Sinatra was a fag basher.

Wasn’t Sinatra also a wife-beater?

6

Wasn’t Sinatra also a wife-beater?

No. There’s no such thing as wife-beating.
It’s called a “tune up”.

7

[I][b]Marilyn Manson was Paul Pfeifer on “Wonder Years”.

Rod Stewart had his stomach pumped to remove 2 quarts of semen.

Michael Hutchence of INXS died because he choked himself to death while choking his chicken.

Al Jourgensen’s roadie was tripping on acid and broke into a zoo to rape an ostrich.

Gerda Barker is writing a book.
[/b][/I]

8

Al Jourgensen’s road was tripping on acid and broke into a zoo to rape an ostrich.

But was it a cock or a hen?

9

[reply]Al Jourgensen’s roadie was tripping on acid and broke into a zoo to rape an ostrich.

But was it a cock or a hen?[/reply]

I’m sure it was a hen. I mean, that would be totally gross if it wasn’t.

11

Oh, hey Gerda!! Long time no see. So that’s what you look like. Cool. I always wondered.

Wasn’t Sinatra also a wife-beater?

He liked to watch My Three Sons in his Jacuzzi while the maid vacuumed nude.

Also:

Bo Diddley played the spoons.

Del Shannon promoted rape.

Fats Waller had rickets.

David Cassidy studied tap.

12

[I][b]Marilyn Manson was Paul Pfeifer on “Wonder Years”.

[/b][/I]

NO!
I am so fucking sick of that rumor. He’s way too old to have been Paul from The Wonder Years.
He was the older brother on Mr. Belvedere. Get it straight.

13

Marilyn Manson was born in 1969.

Which would have made him about 21 when he was Paul on The Wonder Years.

15

[I][b]Marilyn Manson was Paul Pfeifer on “Wonder Years”.[b][I]

How I’d love to heckle him on that one. I would hope he’d be a good sport and say he banged Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper)

Rod Stewart had his stomach pumped to remove 2 quarts of semen.

I dunno about that, but I do know that he used to do cocaine by putting it in capsules for something like Tylenol, and put it it up his ass.

16

Oh, hey Gerda!! Long time no see. So that’s what you look like. Cool. I always wondered.

That’s actually Morjana Alaoui.

But since you’re so curious, here’s what I looked like back in 1991.

17

I thought about the Rod Stewart one the other day. I remember it from my Elementary School days and of course we just accepted it as fact (I still do, by the way). But when you do the math on it . . . . 2 quarts. That’s 64 oz of SEMEN.

I’ve read (yes, I do Google this stuff when I’m bored) that an average ejaculation is 10cc. That’s about a 1/3 of an ounce. So . . . we’re taking as a given that Rod took over 180 loads . . . and swallowed them ALL . . . and in such a short amount of time that they all stayed there in one spot and caused some sort of health problem that required him going to the hospital to get pumped.

I’m just giving the science behind it, of course, and in no way doubting the accuracy or the authenticity of the story.

18

From looking at the photo from Lawfully, I’d say another interesting fact is that Paul Barker married a very young girl. He’s another Jimmy Page isn’t he?

19

I thought about the Rod Stewart one the other day. I remember it from my Elementary School days and of course we just accepted it as fact (I still do, by the way). But when you do the math on it . . . . 2 quarts. That’s 64 oz of SEMEN.

I’ve read (yes, I do Google this stuff when I’m bored) that an average ejaculation is 10cc. That’s about a 1/3 of an ounce. So . . . we’re taking as a given that Rod took over 180 loads . . . and swallowed them ALL . . . and in such a short amount of time that they all stayed there in one spot and caused some sort of health problem that required him going to the hospital to get pumped.

I’m just giving the science behind it, of course, and in no way doubting the accuracy or the authenticity of the story.

He could have had a group of men jack off into a 2 quart milk bottle and then chugged it. Or maybe he just broke into a sperm bank.

20

He could have had a group of men jack off into a 2 quart milk bottle and then chugged it. Or maybe he just broke into a sperm bank.

Reminds me of a joke I thought was hilarious around the same time (okay, I still think it’s pretty funny). Stolen directly from “Truly Tasteless Jokes” and probably read in Spencer’s Gifts . . .

Q: Why don’t they hire homosexuals at sperm banks?
A: They catch too many drinking on the job.

HHHHHIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYOOOOOOO!!!
[Rimshot]

21

From looking at the photo from Lawfully, I’d say another interesting fact is that Paul Barker married a very young girl. He’s another Jimmy Page isn’t he?

I gave birth at seven because… um… I have a pituitary disorder. Yeah, that’s it!

22

Reminds me of a joke I thought was hilarious around the same time (okay, I still think it’s pretty funny). Stolen directly from “Truly Tasteless Jokes” and probably read in Spencer’s Gifts . . .

Q: Why don’t they hire homosexuals at sperm banks?
A: They catch too many drinking on the job.

HHHHHIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYOOOOOOO!!!
[Rimshot]

Great book.

Q: Why don’t Puerto Ricans kill flies?
A: Because they’re the national bird.