keep on raping my childhood

Discussion
1

http://www.horrorsquad.com/2010/03/19/platinum-dunes-plans-monster-squad-remake/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl8|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.horrorsquad.com%2F2010%2F03%2F19%2Fplatinum-dunes-plans-monster-squad-remake%2F

here’s the first bit from the link

Platinum Dunes apparently hasn’t met a horror flick that it wouldn’t remake. Having already tackled genre heavyweights like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street, the company is now poised to move in a slightly different direction–taking on a re-imagining of Fred Dekker’s cult classic The Monster Squad.

Deadline Hollywood is reporting that the production company will produce the re-telling for Paramount. The 1987 original focused on Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, The Mummy, The Wolfman, and Gillman and their quest to find an amulet that will grant them the power to rule the world. Standing in their way? The kids who make up The Monster Squad.

No word yet on who will direct or star (though original Monster Squad producer Rob Cohen is keen to direct, it seems), but rest assured you’ll be reading about those details here at Horror Squad when they’re announced.

ugh… have these people no shame? for some reason i have a feeling the whole “wolfman has nards” line will be in every trailer and commercial

if they CG in all the monsters andwhatnot… just… ugh… please let this all stop… plus we got karate kid with jackie chan as mr miyagi (which actuallymay be good cause jackie chan kicks ass), but these horror remakes are just a joke. no more camp, no humor, just pure violence aand as much blood and gore as possible. which i mean works for some movies, but like those mainstream ones like friday the 13th and halloween and waxworks and all those, the campiness is really what added to the movie. you went to the theater to kinda confront a fear, but at the same time laugh at it in it’s silliness. and that’s what kinda got lost in all these remakes.
but back to my point, this sucks… unless the get kevin spacey to do dracula (which they won’t, but for some reason strikes me as a homerun in casting) there is no saving this one. and i’m sure the victory records soundtrack and hot topic tie in merch will all suck ass too.
I have a feeling next thing i know i’m gonna see a trailer for castlevania with fucking dog the bounty hunter as simon belmont… we have no shame

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You know what needs to be remade?
John Carpenter’s “Prince of Darkness.” Talk about a good idea with a poor execution.

3

Here’s another idea for a remake: Tombs of the Blind Dead.
Tourists in the Italian countryside stumble upon an abandoned village which happens to be the nesting ground for a bunch of ancient Templar Knight zombie/mummies that ride on horses and look badass. But the knights are blind, and do all their hunting by sound.
It’s a killer concept which resulted in a pretty terrible film. Plus it already has a bunch of equally bad sequels with awesome titles like Galleon of the Dead and Night of the Seagulls.
If you check it out on DVD, I highly recommend the alternate opening narration which retitles the movie Revenge of the Ape Planet, or something, and tries to make it seem like a sequel to a highly profitable movie from the time period, despite having no monkeys.

4

Here’s another idea for a remake: Tombs of the Blind Dead.
Tourists in the Italian countryside stumble upon an abandoned village which happens to be the nesting ground for a bunch of ancient Templar Knight zombie/mummies that ride on horses and look badass. But the knights are blind, and do all their hunting by sound.

That does sound like a cool idea!!

I did like the new texas chainsaw better than the original. But I’m so pissed about the new elm street. it looks crappy. As far as the monster squad I had no idea Monster squad even had cult status I thought that was a little known movie.
Late,
grmpysmrf

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I did like the new texas chainsaw better than the original. But I’m so pissed about the new elm street. it looks crappy. As far as the monster squad I had no idea Monster squad even had cult status I thought that was a little known movie.
Late,
grmpysmrf

wow haha i have the exact opposite opinion. haha.

i think that the remake of texas chainsaw was weak and destroyed so much of the magic and power of the original.

but the new nightmare looks like with will if nothing else be a good fun updated slasher. i liked the remake of friday the 13th, so i have high hopes for this.

also, the remake of the hitcher was so bad it gets me angry… the original is a fucking classic.

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I did like the new texas chainsaw better than the original.

Oh my fucking god you cannot be serious?!?! Are you high on crack?!?! You actually prefer the Michael Bay produced remake to the Tobe Hooper all time horror CLASSIC?!?!

(slaps palm over face)

I thought I had heard it all when you rated Last Sucker higher than LORAH but apparently there is no limit to the depths of your bad taste!

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[reply]I did like the new texas chainsaw better than the original.

Oh my fucking god you cannot be serious?!?! Are you high on crack?!?! You actually prefer the Michael Bay produced remake to the Tobe Hooper all time horror CLASSIC?!?!

(slaps palm over face)

I thought I had heard it all when you rated Last Sucker higher than LORAH but apparently there is no limit to the depths of your bad taste![/reply]
Meh, Whatev… matter of taste, you obviously have none.
Late,
grmpysmrf

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Meh, Whatev… matter of taste, you obviously have none.
Late,
grmpysmrf

Ok, I’ll bite…

give me an example of my lack of taste.

Taste is subjective, but lets look at some critical reviews. Rotten Tomatoes gives the original Chainsaw Massacre a 90% rating but only gives the remake a 36%! Snobby film critics you may say, but on IMDB (which reflects popularity among normal folks, not critics) the original still wins out by 7.5 compared to the remake’s rating of 6.1. Now I saw the remake and actually didn’t think it was that bad really, but it didn’t hold a candle to the original film, and I think anyone who knows anything at all about film would agree with me.

Another example of your bad taste is not liking Pan’s Labyrinth, which got a 95% on RT and and 8.4 on IMDB!

And don’t even begin to argue about Last Sucker being better than LORAH, that’s an argument you will surely lose on prongs. If we were meeting in person rather than in an online message board you would have been tarred and feathered!!!

So no offense to you personally homes, you seem like a nice guy and a decent person, and we both like Ministry and Ice Hockey, but your taste, in general STINKS!

So I present to you three examples of your awful taste that I’m sure many will agree with, can you provide any examples of my supposed lack of taste?

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to be fair, i did enjoy the last sucker more. it may have to do with my general love of metal more so than electronica though… (id rather listen to crow bar than kraftwork any day. haha)

but i do agree that the original texas chainsaw is a brilliant classic film that is so steeped with meaning and ideas that a remake (especially one done the way this one was) is just tasteless trash in comparison.

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[reply]Meh, Whatev… matter of taste, you obviously have none.
Late,
grmpysmrf

Ok, I’ll bite…

give me an example of my lack of taste.

Taste is subjective, but lets look at some critical reviews. Rotten Tomatoes gives the original Chainsaw Massacre a 90% rating but only gives the remake a 36%! Snobby film critics you may say, but on IMDB (which reflects popularity among normal folks, not critics) the original still wins out by 7.5 compared to the remake’s rating of 6.1. Now I saw the remake and actually didn’t think it was that bad really, but it didn’t hold a candle to the original film, and I think anyone who knows anything at all about film would agree with me.

Another example of your bad taste is not liking Pan’s Labyrinth, which got a 95% on RT and and 8.4 on IMDB!

And don’t even begin to argue about Last Sucker being better than LORAH, that’s an argument you will surely lose on prongs. If we were meeting in person rather than in an online message board you would have been tarred and feathered!!!

So no offense to you personally homes, you seem like a nice guy and a decent person, and we both like Ministry and Ice Hockey, but your taste, in general STINKS!

So I present to you three examples of your awful taste that I’m sure many will agree with, can you provide any examples of my supposed lack of taste?[/reply]
So what! Who cares? I go with what I like not with what “normal folks” go with. I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks. My definition of what is good is a lot like the Supreme court’s definition of pornography; I know it when I see it.

I thought Original Chainsaw was creepy enough but the acting was really bad, the movie was not paced right and I thought he new chainsaw brought the story up with the better acting and the better sequence of events. I really like Lee Ermy so that was a plus, but whatever, I’m obviously not going to convince you nor do I care to or want to.

I adore Slash, Most here find him boring and do not, I don’t care that some rip on me for it, why would it matter with something else? Movies and entertainment aren’t like politics, there’s no glaringly right answer (at least when all info is presented)

If you live your life by what other “Normal folk” like then you have no taste and I don’t need any other examples because it would seem “your taste” is determined by the masses. which makes it not your taste at all, but the masses taste.

yeah I got no beef with you, we just disagree, it’s been known to happen here on the board.
Late,
grmpysmrf

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The original ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ is an American classic. Very few films can match its portrayal of rural delinquency. For those who love meaning and representation in their films this film is loaded with it, made and released in the midst of another psychic crisis in American youth.

Have never seen the remake but have only heard bad things, except that supposedly you see Jessica Biel’s nipples through her shirt. I’d watch that.

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The original ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ is an American classic. Very few films can match its portrayal of rural delinquency. For those who love meaning and representation in their films this film is loaded with it, made and released in the midst of another psychic crisis in American youth.

Exactly! Anyone who appreciates good cinema would pick the original over the remake, one of the main reasons being that one is the “original” (implying originality), an original story written by a first time director who did a kick-ass job with the limited budget he had and created a classic that is still creepy as fuck to this day; and the other is a “remake” (implying non-originality) a reworking of someone else’s idea and story that added nothing to the overall experience was made solely for the purpose of making a quick buck.

And no Grmypy I don’t give a shit about “normal” people I’m saying that critics and other people who are true aficionados of cinema, especially horror cinema would pretty much unanimously say that you were out of yer goddamn mind to insist a TCM remake is better than the original!

But hey, maybe in the Grmpysmurf parallel universe remakes are better than originals and lazy half-assed thrash albums mocking an at the time lame-duck President are better than groundbreaking, genre-creating classic records… I guess that’s a possibility, that’s the only way I can explain where you are coming up with these crackpot opinions.

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[reply]The original ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ is an American classic. Very few films can match its portrayal of rural delinquency. For those who love meaning and representation in their films this film is loaded with it, made and released in the midst of another psychic crisis in American youth.

Exactly! Anyone who appreciates good cinema would pick the original over the remake, one of the main reasons being that one is the “original” (implying originality), an original story written by a first time director who did a kick-ass job with the limited budget he had and created a classic that is still creepy as fuck to this day; and the other is a “remake” (implying non-originality) a reworking of someone else’s idea and story that added nothing to the overall experience was made solely for the purpose of making a quick buck.

And no Grmypy I don’t give a shit about “normal” people
[/reply]
Really? 'cause your 3 “examples” all had to do with groups of people who agree with you.

I’m saying that critics and other people who are true aficionados of cinema, especially horror cinema would pretty much unanimously say that you were out of yer goddamn mind to insist a TCM remake is better than the original!

so? what’s that got to do with your own personal taste? So, since critics and aficionados like something so do you? Or because you consider yourself a critic or aficinaodo you think you have to like what “they” do to?

I, obviously, am not an “aficionado,” never said that I was and I never insisted TCM remake was better than the old. For My money I prefer the New one. Some like the old one better, some like the new new better. I happen to be in the crowd that likes the remake better. so what?

We obviously look for different things in our movies. Yeah, hooper did well for no budget and first time directing but the remake did better with a veteran director and better acting… that’s what I think, you think differently so what?

Acting for me has a lot to do with the believability of the script. A good actor can take a shitty script and make the story believable. So in contrast a bad actor can take a good script and make it shitty. The script was fine for Orig TCM but the acting just doesn’t do it for me. which made the movie creepy at best (which was based solely on the strength of the script (props to hooper)). The script was not bad for New TCM and the acting was way superior, so better movie to me.

OTCM script =10
OTCM Acting =4

RTCM Scipt =7
RTCM Acting =9

But hey, maybe in the Grmpysmurf parallel universe remakes are better than originals and lazy half-assed thrash albums mocking an at the time lame-duck President are better than groundbreaking, genre-creating classic records… I guess that’s a possibility, that’s the only way I can explain where you are coming up with these crackpot opinions.

narrow mind could also be another way for you to explain your inability to grasp my “crack pot opinions”. Damn the world would be boring if we were all just a bunch of you. I guess I happen to like "half assed thrash records"I guess your a cooler person than me, just go ask all your peeps that agree with you, they’ll back me up that you’re a cooler person than me.
Late,
grmpysmrf

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Cool has got nothing to do with it man, I never was very good at being cool and quit trying years ago. If anything I like horror and other cinema to the point of being quite geeky about it. I doubt I’d even be cool in a “nerdy cool” kinda way like David Byrne or Weezer. To me it’s about style and aesthetic, and do I think my sense of it is better than yours? Hell yeah I do, AND I’m gonna flip you a little shit for it [sly]

But does that really mean, I think I’m cooler than you or better than you? No, not really… just having a little fun breaking balls here. I mean really, don’t be so shocked that there are some horror film buffs on a Ministry board, and that if you knock a horror classic that one of them might snarl at you a little for espousing your sacrilege!

Go on a Star Wars board and start talking about the newer trilogy being better than the the original. I bet you they will chew you a new asshole in a much less civil manner than I have!

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Grmpy’s clearly clinically insane.
I’m also a huge fan of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, but it’s a comedy and not everybody gets it.

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Do I think my sense of it is better than yours? Hell yeah I do, AND I’m gonna flip you a little shit for it [sly]

LoL

But does that really mean, I think I’m cooler than you or better than you? No, not really… just having a little fun breaking balls here.

I’m having a little fun here myself practicing my passive aggressive posts.

I mean really, don’t be so shocked that there are some horror film buffs on a Ministry board, and that if you knock a horror classic that one of them might snarl at you a little for espousing your sacrilege!

I’m not shocked, you snarled at me first, and I’ve barely snarled back. I was happy plodding along looking at biels nips, watching nerd boy put on a damn good scared show in front of lee Ermy in the van, and having an uncomfortable chuckle as lee Ermy felt up the dead girl and called her pretty!

Go on a Star Wars board and start talking about the newer trilogy being better than the the original.

Well it was!![;)]
Late,
grmpysmrf

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hey I like both the original and the remake.

old horror movies were about, more or less, facing your fears and kinda laughing at them (hence the humor in alot of them) the new wave of movies is just to show gore and people getting brutally killed.
But as far as remakes of old horror movies go, the remake of TCM is one of the better ones.

the worst i’ve seen, off the top of my head would be the friday the 13th.

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Grmpy’s clearly clinically insane.
I’m also a huge fan of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, but it’s a comedy and not everybody gets it.

Me as well. I think it was brilliant on Hooper’s part in realizing he couldn’t top the original/ or rehash it and instead went the over-the-top phantasmagoria route. It is a film that has a lot of detractors among horror fans, but the set design and the sheer weirdness of a lot of it appeal to me. The late Jim Siedow’s character Drayton Sawyer gets all the best lines.

Plus I love that Nubbins the corpse is actually the Hitchhiker from the 1st film, whereas Chop-Top is his twin brother who was in Vietnam during the original.

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I don’t think the Remake of TCM was all that gory. Perhaps when the dude has his leg chainsawed off and then gets salt rubbed in the wound but other than that I don’t remember too much gore. maybe the beginning where the chick blows her head off but but both of those run roughly 15 seconds in the whole movie.
Wasn’t hooper involved in the remake? I’m pretty sure he was a producer or something
Late,
grmpysmrf

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“Texas Chainsaw Massacre II” is easily my favorite of the franchise. It’s hilarious, I used to watch the VHS so much it broke on me.

Of course it’s been years since I’ve seen it and it might turn out to be a little too gory for me these days (my tolerance for violence in movies is a lot lower than it was in my teens).