Gunnar-I hope you didn’t fuck something up in the lab and mistakenly kill James Gandolfini…that would be unforgivable…here we are trying to off some worthless pricks and we kill off a talented person who actually gave something to the world…
Gunnar-I hope you didn’t fuck something up in the lab and mistakenly kill James Gandolfini…that would be unforgivable…here we are trying to off some worthless pricks and we kill off a talented person who actually gave something to the world…
No, I’m clearing myself of all wrongdoing on that. I could understand if I was recently thinking of him and all my focused hate from thinking about Bono accidentally got transferred to him and killed him, but I’ve not thought about Gandolfini at all for at least a year or so. This was just a sad coincidence.
That being said . . . . I’m sure it is somehow Bono’s fault and I hope that people recognize that.
Indeed, it is most likely Bono’s fault.
Proof: Gandolfini was in Italy when he died. There is a commune in Italy named Bono: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bono,_Italy
Coincidence? I think not.
That’s proof enough for me.
Yeah,makes perfect sense…let’s run with it…
Okay. I’m proud to report that I have successfully killed Bono. I could not have asked for better results.
I got his itinerary and found out he was speaking to the United Nations about, what else, but feeding the starving Africans, of course. So I waited outside for him and as soon as I saw him I shoved past his bodyguards and clubbed him like a baby seal and knocked him unconscious. I then took him back to my place and meticulously removed his head and spinal cord and kept them alive by connecting them to a car battery.
Having successfully kept his stupid head alive so that he could see everything that would take place, I took his torso and still living head and flew to Ethiopia to continue . . .
After arriving in the most destitute, starving village, I ran his body through a deli slicer and then fed all the poor starving Africans with fresh Bono lunch meat. Of course I made sure that Bono could clearly view the little malnourished bastards savoring every last bite of Bono sashimi, Bonoloaf, and Bonwich.
Eventually the car battery died, but I’m happy to tell you that the last image Bono had in his mind and took to his grave is that of joyful Ethiopians chomping down on his tender flesh and high-fiving each other over such a delectable meal.
That’s beautiful, man.
And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. I worked with that prick once and he had it coming.
May the children of Ethiopia enjoy chewing on his bones. . .
Years ago a friend of mine, who was just starting out as a journalist (and was a huge U2 fan) was at an awards show. He was having a drink at the bar, and who should walk over and stand beside him but Bono. As Bono was getting served, my friend was trying to muster up something to say to him; the first thing that came to him was “…errrrrm…the last album was a bit shit, wasn’t it?”. Bono turned around, looked right at him and said “Fuck off”, before turning and walking away.
:Slow clap:
:Slow clap:
Yeah, it definitely could have been a better story had my friend said “Your last album was shit” and smashed his glass in Bono’s face.
Dang, kind of a lacklustre celebration here for the killing of the most hated man in the universe. Oh, well. I’m on a mission from God here so i’m not worried too much about the love of the people. I’m just glad to know in my heart that i’m doing what’s right and will be making a positive difference in this world.
That’s beautiful, man.
And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. I worked with that prick once and he had it coming.
Do tell. I stood next to Bono in an elevator in Sydney many years ago. He stunk of after shave and scowled the whole time. He was also very short.
Stupid prat.
I liked Henry Rollins quote:
“Saw Bono walking down the street in L.A. I had to fight the urge to trip him over.”
Classic.
Okay, People . . . I’ve not yet picked my next kill so feel free to give your nominations.
I think our two leaders at the moment are Justin Bieber and Chad Kroeger (Nickelback).
Okay, People . . . I’ve not yet picked my next kill so feel free to give your nominations.
I think our two leaders at the moment are Justin Bieber and Chad Kroeger (Nickelback).
It’s possible to avoid seeing Kroeger’s face everywhere, when you read a magazine, a newspaper, a website, so my vote is for Young Master Bieber. His omnipresence is offensive to my delicate sensibilities.
Okay, People . . . I’ve not yet picked my next kill so feel free to give your nominations.
I think our two leaders at the moment are Justin Bieber and Chad Kroeger (Nickelback).
The guy from Nickleback,no doubt…I vote for the guy from Creed also…I know he isn’t as relevant these days but still deserves a horribly cruel fate for past offences…but just the fact that Bono is gone is enough for me to feel content about this already successful Circus of Death…
I vote Avril Lavigne.
I vote Avril Lavigne.
At least she has a vagina…oh wait,so does Kroeger…
Do tell. I stood next to Bono in an elevator in Sydney many years ago. He stunk of after shave and scowled the whole time. He was also very short.
I had to interview him once, like 3 years ago. In fairness, he was polite and gave a good interview. But he’s just so smug and full of himself. Gave me massive douche chills.
Nicki Minaj
Fred Phelps
Howie Mandell
Nicki Minaj
Fred Phelps
Howie Mandell
Nicki Minaj is a good one…what an annoying koont…