[reply]Bono vying for lead. Nice. I’ve been waiting a long time to put that stupid muppet on ice.
Curious, I can understand biding your time with other potential targets but this is Bono. It’s like taking out Osama Bin Laden, when the opportunity presents itself, you need to act. Within seconds of his demise, the worlds self-righteousness would drop by 87.3%. I just don’t see a downside.[/reply]
I guess it’s an issue of my perfectionism and personal standards. Could I have put a bullet between his eyes? Sure. But I don’t think that would be befitting for someone so vile. He needs a painful and violent death, prolonged and torturous.
I came up with a scenario a few years ago where you’d wait for the target with a tranquiliser gun, loaded with heroin darts, and when the target least expected it, you hit them with a dart. Then leave it a while, and hit them again with another dose while they go about their everyday business, over and over, slowly forcing them to form a habit. Then you have them disappeared to somewhere where there’s no heroin and they slowly, painfully, wean off the drug. You return them to their normal life. Then, when they’re settled back into normal life, the smack sniper strikes again and they fall back into addiction. Repeat pattern until something drastic happens. I think that might be good for Bono.
I think I’ll be hiring you as a murder consultant, Jay. I have a feeling you have a wealth of ideas that will come in quite handy for future projects.
Bono’s is already mapped out. As I was finishing up my Carl’s Jr. Super Bacon Cheeseburger and fried zucchini I had a revelation revealed to me which told me how I was to kill Bono. I think you all will be pleased. I’m checking his schedule now and will be tracking him soon. Wish me luck!
Just when I wanted to buy you a beer for your awesome post on the From Beer to Eternity thread I read this and want to smack you down like a moose smackin’ a wolf.
Nooooooooooooo!!! [:)] I am interested in the moose vs wolf smackdown though, what if we got them hooked on smack and then made them do the smackdown, would that allay your anger?
I think I’ll be hiring you as a murder consultant, Jay. I have a feeling you have a wealth of ideas that will come in quite handy for future projects.
Bono’s is already mapped out. As I was finishing up my Carl’s Jr. Super Bacon Cheeseburger and fried zucchini I had a revelation revealed to me which told me how I was to kill Bono. I think you all will be pleased. I’m checking his schedule now and will be tracking him soon. Wish me luck!
I really hope the FBI aren’t reading this, hahaha. FBI, if you’re out there, this is only hypothetical!
It’ll be just our luck that some copycat killer at this very moment is actually executing the exact same deaths that we are planning in the exact same manner . . . and here we are, leaving the Feds a full-on paper trail leading them directly to us. It’s like a horrible episode of “Law and Order”. Oh, wait. Did I say “horrible”? I meant AWESOME, because at least in our story BONO DIES!!!
I think I’ll be hiring you as a murder consultant, Jay. I have a feeling you have a wealth of ideas that will come in quite handy for future projects.
Bono’s is already mapped out. As I was finishing up my Carl’s Jr. Super Bacon Cheeseburger and fried zucchini I had a revelation revealed to me which told me how I was to kill Bono. I think you all will be pleased. I’m checking his schedule now and will be tracking him soon. Wish me luck!
Is there really a bacon cheeseburger with fried zucchini on it!!! We don’t have Carl’s Jr.'s down here…
No, I’m sorry for the confusion. The zucchini is just a side order, but you could easily put them in the burger . . . I might have to try that. I highly recommend their new Super Bacon burger though. It legitimately has a bunch of bacon. There’s like 6 large strips of bacon (not 2 tiny strips chopped into a bunch of smaller pieces like Jack in the Box did when they lied about their Bacon Ultimate some 15 years back.)
No, I’m sorry for the confusion. The zucchini is just a side order, but you could easily put them in the burger . . . I might have to try that. I highly recommend their new Super Bacon burger though. It legitimately has a bunch of bacon. There’s like 6 large strips of bacon (not 2 tiny strips chopped into a bunch of smaller pieces like Jack in the Box did when they lied about their Bacon Ultimate some 15 years back.)
oh ok…they don’t have Carl Jr in Miami and I never seem to see them when I’m traveling…
[reply]No, I’m sorry for the confusion. The zucchini is just a side order, but you could easily put them in the burger . . . I might have to try that. I highly recommend their new Super Bacon burger though. It legitimately has a bunch of bacon. There’s like 6 large strips of bacon (not 2 tiny strips chopped into a bunch of smaller pieces like Jack in the Box did when they lied about their Bacon Ultimate some 15 years back.)
They’re branded as HARDEE’S in many markets, and I’ve even found one near my hotel in Bahrain.
oh ok…they don’t have Carl Jr in Miami and I never seem to see them when I’m traveling…[/reply]
Yeah,Hardee’s goes way back…I remember they were everywhere in the 70s and 80s…none of those down here either…the only thing aside from the usual Burger King/Wendys/McDonalds,as far as chains go,that they have down here is Checker’s and it sucks ungodly ballsack…
HAHAHA!!! My buddy and I always joke about Rally’s (just another name for the Checkers brand) when we’re on travel. They’re slogan is “Rally’s – Ya Gotta Eat!”
We love the honesty of it. No claims of flavor, nutrition, or satisfaction. Just the simple statement of the obvious. It’s food, sort of. You’re hungry, right? And, well, if you don’t eventually eat something, you’ll eventually die. Okay, fine, whatever, let’s eat some Rally’s. I mean, it’s better than a dead squirrel or a pile of tree bark, I guess, and well . . . . we gotta eat.
It’ll be just our luck that some copycat killer at this very moment is actually executing the exact same deaths that we are planning in the exact same manner . . .
Heroin Sniper? I’m sure their on it right now.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Apparently, our plans have already been leaked to the public. Al Jourgensen just phoned in to tell me he’ll be guarding Bono closely and jumping in front of any fired shots from the H-GUN.