Okay, it’s time we stopped all this cryin’ and got back to something more productive. KILLIN!!! Since a lot of us are deeply emotionally distressed over various celebrities and pop stars I thought it would be better to, instead of just whining about it, get to doing something about it.
So, here’s the deal . . . y’all nominate people you want to see die, and I will make them die horrible painful deaths and then present to you photographic proof of the completed deed for your enjoyment.
So, who is it? Who keeps you up at night, torturing your soul with their say-nothing commentary on E! or making your stomach wrench with their discopop on the McDonalds in-house piped in soundtrack while you try to enjoy your Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
I’m here to help. Give me names.
I will select worthy candidates and MAKE THEM DIE!!!
Why is it when someone offers to murder the person of your choice for you, your mind goes blank?!
I’ll go for Katy Perry. Yeah, she’s very attractive, but beneath that cute veneer lies a heart so black, a person so self-centred and hungry for the limelight that even renowned whoremaster Russell Brand had to call it a day.
I’m not a fan. I don’t like people who project a wholesome image (family’s all religious, she had to have Brand break it off because her family would never forgive her, etc etc) but are really loathesome fame-chasing creeps. Of course i know all this because of the hidden microphones i placed in her house. She sacrifices young fans who are only too happy to come back to her home, the smile fades when she brings them to the dungeon and shows them the ALTAR OF SACRIFICE!!! Katy Perry’s basement, yesterday.
She was in Heroes, i didn’t hate her character to start with, but grew to dislike her intensely as it went on. That’s been compounded by this new Nashville tv series that’s being constantly advertised on tv, and i mean constantly! Through the adverts i have seen the trajectory of her musical career, from bright eyed newcomer to alcoholic wreck about to enter rehab - but on her own terms, because she’s so strong, even though she’s an addict.
As i said, she’s probably a very nice person, but why take a chance. We have to be sure, the request has been given and it’s too late to turn back now.
Well allright. We have two nominations for Nicklesack, shooting them straight to the top of the kill queue.
And if any of you pansies out there think we’re overreacting about all this and that Chad Kroeger doesn’t deserve the fate which awaits him, just look at this photo.
Still don’t want him dead?
Yeah, that’s what I thought!!!
Just give me some time to find that bastard and I’ll let y’all know the results.
Beiber. I couldn’t name a thing he’s done but that fucker needs to die. Horribly. I think he’s the anti-Christ.
You have to worry about the mental state of a guy who throws a shitfit when German customs won’t let him bring his pet monkey into the country, then abandons the poor thing and leaves it to rot in German ape-jail, he never bothered collecting the thing again, just went home and left it there.
There was some funny footage of him squaring up to paparazzi in London, shouting “C’mon motherfucker!!”. They did deliberately wind him up though. His own people were laughing at him as they held him back. He did a series of shows around Europe where he seemed to grow more unpopular by the second, even with his own fans and their pissed off parents.
