This was one of the threads that was very much missed when the PA got pooned.
I shall start with an oldie but a goldie that I asked last time and see if I get a similar answer.
Gunnar…why is Al Qaeda so bad-ass?
Dear Gunnar,
Is it acceptable in this day and age for a man to have a fairly hairy body or should I seriously look into getting some waxing done to impress the ladies?
What are your thoughts on this?
Peligro.
Will Nick Barker and Dani Filth ever bury the hatchet? And do you see COF doing anything with Erie?
Gunnar, how much laxative can one ingest before ending up in hospital?
Sometimes my basketball coach pats me on the ass and tells me I’m doing a good job. It’s not on the hole or anything and I’m usually clothed when he does it, but it still weirds me out that a 40+ year old man wants to pat a 35 year old high school student on the ass. He doesn’t do it to the other players that I’ve seen and I want him to stop but I don’t want to be taken out of the starting 5. How do I approach this?
Also how quickly and how many spoonfulls of mayonaise do I have to eat to be considered officially white trash?
Thanks.
Late,
grmpysmrf
you guys should go to reddit.com and see if you can start an internet buzz. it’s a waste of your time to start shit up on a board with 30 people. go for the big guns. go to 4chan or reddit.
Gunnar-
I try to limit my deodorant use because some chemical in the deodorant for some reason makes me grow skin tags in my armpits. However, I’m a pretty sweaty fat guy. Can you recommend a deodorant substitute that will not cause this problem, or alternately, a less painful method of removing the skin tags- nail clippers hurt like a bitch!
you guys should go to reddit.com and see if you can start an internet buzz. it’s a waste of your time to start shit up on a board with 30 people. go for the big guns. go to 4chan or reddit.
I’m going to give this statement the “Irony of the Year Award”.
I already WASTE plenty of time amongst Prongs, PB4PB, and Facebook (yes, those are the only 3). It’s practically a full-time job arguing with the few people that post on any of those board and/or posting my stupid pictures and making smart ass comments.
If I had 1000 people blasting in on one of these threads I’d never be able to even get to work (assuming I cared enough to respond to them all, which I don’t).
I’m an admitted internet junkie, so I have to ration myself. Giving me a 10,000 readers overnight would be like sending Charlie Sheen into the free samples section of the Cocaine Factory with no supervision.
I just can’t handle it. Thanks for the suggestion though. I just want to help people. It’s my #1 mission in life.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
Edit: This was also supposed to be my pre-emptive apology to everyone asking questions. I will get to them, but sometimes it takes a while. I generally answer them first-come, first-served, but the above seemed appropriate to push to the front of the queue.
Gunnar…why is Al Qaeda so bad-ass?
Al Qaeda is badass for a number of reasons. First off, their name rhymes with the French fry company, Ore Ida. And as everyone knows, if it’s Ore Ida, it’s ALL RIGHTA!!! Ding, Fries are done!
But also, it’s about comraderie, fun, and homoeroticism. If you think being a fireman is fun because you get to hang out playing foosball and having ticklefights with the fellas before it’s time to slide down a pole, run around in a shiny red truck, and spray water on something, you should check out the Al Qaeda Training Camps!
You basically get to run some kickass obstacle courses all the time. Monkeybars, tire stepping, crawling under razorwire . . . but more importantly you get AK47’s when you’re 12 years old! THAT’S way cooler than any lame ass fraternity you can join in college. Plus you don’t have to take stupid classes like Women’s Studies or 18th Century Literature. It’s all about piling into the back of a pickup truck with your homies, screeching into town, and letting ammo fly all over the place, all while wearing the coolest and most comfortable of robes. If that doesn’t give you a boner nothing will.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
Will Nick Barker and Dani Filth ever bury the hatchet? And do you see COF doing anything with Erie?
The answer to all of these is a firm YES!
Nick Barker, Dani Filth, and Erie Load all met to discuss a new Industrial Blackety Black MixxxMetal project that is guaranteed to make people question whether Ville Vallo still deserves to be called the God of All That is Black.
During their preliminary brainstorming session Nick Barker and Dani Filth agreed to bury the hatchet. They buried it in Erie’s ass. However, Erie did not even realize what had been done. So, yes, the hatchet is buried, and I doubt it will be retrieved any time in this millenium.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
That helps a lot! Now do you think Dimmu Borgir will try and jump on this? I heard they’ve been wanting to work with Erie for a long time.
Gunnar, how much laxative can one ingest before ending up in hospital?
14*. But you should be okay with crapping your pants for 4 days straight.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
*Please consult your physician before commencing with any plan to crap your pants for 4 days straight. You may also want to consult your laundry service.
How many licks does it take to get the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Sometimes my basketball coach pats me on the ass and tells me I’m doing a good job. It’s not on the hole or anything and I’m usually clothed when he does it, but it still weirds me out that a 40+ year old man wants to pat a 35 year old high school student on the ass. He doesn’t do it to the other players that I’ve seen and I want him to stop but I don’t want to be taken out of the starting 5. How do I approach this?
You’re 35 and in in high school. The problem’s not the coach, Billy Madison. It’s you. Get your GED online like the rest of the respectable dropouts making up for past failure.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
Also how quickly and how many spoonfulls of mayonaise do I have to eat to be considered officially white trash?
The fact that you eat mayonnaise with a spoon shows that you have already achieved this lofty goal. Let me know when you wanna smoke some meth out of a light bulb and see a Pantera concert.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
Gunnar-
I try to limit my deodorant use because some chemical in the deodorant for some reason makes me grow skin tags in my armpits. However, I’m a pretty sweaty fat guy. Can you recommend a deodorant substitute that will not cause this problem, or alternately, a less painful method of removing the skin tags- nail clippers hurt like a bitch!
Skin tags are your problem, but your raucous BO is everyone’s problem, so you gotta deal with it, Son. The only alternative to deodorant is pit removal – just go to a surgeon and tell them that you need your armpits to be surgically removed because your stench is causing global conflict. They’ll be glad to assist you.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
How many licks does it take to get the center of a tootsie roll pop?
It takes 3.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
That helps a lot! Now do you think Dimmu Borgir will try and jump on this? I heard they’ve been wanting to work with Erie for a long time.
While core members Shagrath, Meshach, and Abednego all expressed interest in collaborating with Trance Metal visionary, Erie Load, Dimmu Borgir is currently busy in the studio working on their 12th studio album entitled, “Ridiculosos Namicus Laughicus Assicusofficus”. In Latin it means “If you thought the title to our last album was stupid, wait til you hear what our next one is called!”
It’s expected to cover such challenging topics as Blackness, Spikiness, Spikety Blackety Blackness, and heartbreak.
I hope this helps,
Gunnar
You didn’t answer mine! Now I’ll never know if hairy is sexy.
Also, stop making fun of Norwegian Black Metal.
davelybob,
If you really are growing skin tags in your armpits, it most likely is not your deodorant that is causing it.
My apologies, Peligro. I lost my place. I will answer it next. It was nothing personal, Sir. Thank you for letting me know.