Jay Carton’s joke inspired me to make a thread…and also our past discussions about the Truly Tasteless Joke Books…plus I had a discussion about The Aristocrats recently…what is the filthiest joke you know(without cheating)? Not necessarily the most offensive but just a dirty,nasty,filthy one? I always liked this one:
How can you tell when a nun is on the rag? Because the choir boy says the priest’s dick tastes like blood…hey ohhhhhhh
Q) What is the number one reason for the rise in paedophilia?
A) Sexy fucking kids
I’ll repeat the one from the other thread here, i think these are the only two jokes i know!
Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby’s cock.
Two priests and a nun were stranded on a island. After a week, she became so ashamed of what they were doing that she drowned herself. The following week, the priests were so ashamed of what they were doing that they buried her. After another week, the priests were so ashamed of what they were doing that they dug her up again.
Q: What do you call Mexican baptism?
A: Bean dip.
My kind of thread!
• My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
• What’s black and blue and hates sex?
• How many babies does it take to paint a house?
• What’s black and sits atop a staircase?
• How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
• What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
• What’s the best part about getting a blow job from an Ethiopian?
• How do you make a baby float?
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing,they were both stuck up cunts…
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked and gagged.
What’s the difference between pink and purple?
Your grip.
• I’ve got a really funny joke about rape!
I just saw this in another forum and copypastad:
A small boy goes into the kitchen one day and run up to his mum. “Mummy, mummy, Grandma’s got a prawn between her legs!”
“Pardon, darling?” “Grandma’s got a prawn between her legs!” “Okay, show me”
They both walk into the living room, where they find Grandma fast asleep and looking very pleased. Her knickers are missing and her skirt has ridden up so that nothing is left to the imagination.
“See Mummy? A prawn,” says the little boy, pointing between his gran’s splayed legs. “No, darling that’s something special women have.”
“But Mummy,” says the little boy, looking confused. “It tasted like a prawn.”
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
So she can moan with the right one.
Q: What did the Al Jourgensen say to the black woman?
A: Nothin’, you idiot! They just went straight to the screwin’!
• What’s the difference between a Tyler Perry movie and an abortion?
A Jew, A black guy, and a mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, Get out!
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that’s just the first guy.
what do you call a mexican rolling around in sand?
A churro.
What’s the best part about fucking a five year old?
hearing her pelvis crack.
how do you make a five year old cry after sex?
wipe your dick off on her teddy bear.
How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies?
with a pitch fork
how did helen keller burn her fingers?
she was reading the waffle iron.
Late,
grmpysmrf
How do you know a nigger’s been using your computer?
It’s gone.
• What’s the most positive thing about Harlem?
What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair when you’re done.
• How many dead babies can fit into a barrel?
I gotta say,you guys really delivered on this thread…ask and you shall receive…
How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon?
2 in the front, 2 in the back and 700 in the ashtray.