Signs*
Enough said.
It would be no exaggeration to say that I would rather have my genitals surgically removed by a clown while I am totally concious than have to sit through that again.
Well…maybe that’s exaggerating a little. It wouldn’t have to be a clown performing the operating.
List yours! It has to be bad though. REAL bad.
Burlesque by Cher.
I went to see it completely stoned off my head with my ex-girlfriend who looks exactly like Cher, but with a bigger nose.
I should have known what I was in for. It was everything I expected. It just had to be taken with a grain of salt. And a gram of choof. Once I did that, it was tolerable.
So… I guess not so much a horror experience.
I would probably reserve that for Jodie Foster’s film, ‘Contact’ (South Park was right. I remember my old man just cracking the shits at the end), and any recent comedy by Eddie Murphy. Oh, and the Boondock Saints. I don’t care what the intention was, if you like that film, you are a bad person [:P]
Dungeons & Dragons
I saw it having read no reviews and having seen no footage. Had no idea what I was in store for and was hoping it was going to be a decent if not great big budget sci fi fantasy cgi blockbuster.
Boy was I wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Have also had the misfortune of being dragged along to a Hugh Grant / Sandra Bullock girl meets guy, girl dislikes guy, girl ends up with guy after realising he was the right guy all along shitfest.
Darkness falls
blech!
Still better than the Blair witch project, though
Late,
grmpysmrf
2012
Overblown with explosions in typical Hollywood fashion … quite hilarious imo
I saw (but thankfully didn’t pay for) The Green Hornet a few months ago.
It was an unmitigated tragedy. Easily one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. No enjoyment factor at all. I mean some films like The Wicker Man remake are so bad they’re great but The Green Hornet made me v.angry. And then after leaving the theatre I hear some guys singing the film’s praises: “Oh man that was so good” and such. They were serious. [shocked]
the original exorcist. my brother dragged me to a theater up north in chicago. i was sick with a 100 plus temperature. movie. of course. was frightening. i did hold my coat over my head for many scenes.I guess, NOT too bad.
How can someone not like “Wayne’s World”? That movie is most excellent.
I don’t typically have any tolerance for watching movies and just change a channel or turn them off before they’re done. So the only ones that I can really list are ones that I ended up watching because others in the group wanted to see it. The resulting experience usually ends with people deciding never to watch movies with me again because I can’t keep quiet. I talk trash during the entire film and make sure everyone around me knows exactly how displeased I am with the film being shown. On that note, here are a few . . . .
Phenomenon
Interview With The Vampire
The Wall
One that I tried watching on my own I got about 30 minutes or so into it before planning to murder everyone associated with it was JUNO. This movie made me so mad. I felt like punching a hole through the airplane seat so I could find that skinny bitch, pull her out and twist off her head like a ketchup cap.
So, yeah, put JUNO on my list.
I talk trash during the entire film and make sure everyone around me knows exactly how displeased I am with the film being shown…
me too!!
i forgot to mention “Legion” man i talked trash all the way through that flick, what a horrible movie.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Hannibal.
I booed at the end. The people I was with were embarrassed, but so what? I hated that film.
Absolutely hated Natural Born Killers. Hated it with a passion. Tries SO hard to be SO in your face and such a ''landmark" film that packs a powerful message about society and its glorification of violence in the media etc. Failed on just about every level. If this is what passes as controversial cinema then I give up.
Also HATED:
Face Off
walked out with still about 30 minutes to go.
Batman & Robin
well…derr
Star Wars Episode II : Attack Of The Clones
more like attack of severe visual diarrea. Worst dialogue ever.
Notting Hill
Julia Roberts fuck off.
But I suppose, still, Natural Born Killers took the cake.
Oh yeah, and I also saw Signs.
And yes, I also believe it was a steaming pile of dung.
The Crocodile Hunter movie… I didn’t even want to go because I knew it would be horrible. Friends insisted, and of course there was a girl. Fucking horrible, and easily the worst thing I have ever seen. The crippled girl singing about her vag is nowhere near as bad as that was.
When I saw Episode III, I kinda made fun of it. I liked it, but there were parts that were just kind of ridiculous. Plus, I think the lady who was sitting in front of us shit her pants towards the end. It was an advance employee screening too. We called her Greasy Cheeks after that.
Wayne’s World. It was so horrible I asked for my money back. The theatre said too bad, so I stood in front and shouted to all and sundry that the movie stunk to high heaven and go home. A bunch of people started leaving. The manager told me to be quiet and leave or he would call the police. I told him to go right ahead because I was completely ripped off and I wasn’t leaving until I got a refund. After about 10 minutes and about 100 people leaving the manager gave me a book of free passes. I shut up and left.
Prologue, that is some fine work there, my son!
I felt like punching a hole through the airplane seat so I could find that skinny bitch, pull her out and twist off her head like a ketchup cap.
I’ll have to remember this one next time I’m in a less than favourable mood.
Agree big time with Olsen about Natural Born Killer’s and Episode II. Episode II was nothing more than a cure for insomnia. Just nothing there. NBK really really really really made me want to twist off Juliette Lewis’ head like a ketchup cap.
Irritating.
When I saw Episode III, I kinda made fun of it. I liked it, but there were parts that were just kind of ridiculous. Plus, I think the lady who was sitting in front of us shit her pants towards the end. It was an advance employee screening too. We called her Greasy Cheeks after that.
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Oh shit, and Terminator 3. Fuck that.
I’ll back up Olsen on “Batman and Robin”, for sure, (though he shouldn’t have too hard of a time getting an army enlisted to kill everyone involved in that celluloid abortion).
I’ll back up Olsen on “Batman and Robin”, for sure, (though he shouldn’t have too hard of a time getting an army enlisted to kill everyone involved in that celluloid abortion).
I think they should’ve stopped with Batman Returns. Burton wasn’t doing anymore and that other guy totally botched it. The newer ones are alright though.
Natural Born Killers is such a “Look at me!! Look at me!! I’m making an important cultural statement” film. If Natural Born Killers was a child I’d slap its face, like the proverbial red headed step child. It’s so full of gawky MTV slopbucket kitsch it makes me nauseous just thinking about it.
Oliver Stone is the Bono of the filmworld and needs to get fucked.
I’m not sold on the new Batman franchise. It looks good, but is WAAAAAY too aware of itself and how ‘cool’ it’s preceived to be; it’s way too bloated and that Christian Bale guy gives Batman a really silly cookie monster type voice that grates on my nerves. Dark Knight also had about ten too many sub plots.
The Star Wars prequels are best forgotten. They’re like the one night stand with the hot bikini model you dreamt about having for years…then when it does finally happen you either can’t get it up or she laughs at the size of it. Just an embarrassing memory.
Wayne’s World. It was so horrible I asked for my money back. The theatre said too bad, so I stood in front and shouted to all and sundry that the movie stunk to high heaven and go home. A bunch of people started leaving. The manager told me to be quiet and leave or he would call the police. I told him to go right ahead because I was completely ripped off and I wasn’t leaving until I got a refund. After about 10 minutes and about 100 people leaving the manager gave me a book of free passes. I shut up and left.
That is so fucking cool. I wish I had the nerve to do shit like that.
Oh…once me and a friend went and saw Spielberg’s futuristic dayglo abortion, Artificial Intelligence and were so pissed off with how utterly horrendous it was, we grabbed the large A.I cardboard advertisement diorama thingy in the lobby, hoisted it above our heads and ran out into the street with it. We got about 20 or 30 metres from the front door and into the night air before two ushers came charging after us. We ditched the display in the gutter and ran away laughing our asses off.
Oh…once me and a friend went and saw Spielberg’s futuristic dayglo abortion, Artificial Intelligence and were so pissed off with how utterly horrendous it was, we grabbed the large A.I cardboard advertisement diorama thingy in the lobby, hoisted it above our heads and ran out into the street with it. We got about 20 or 30 metres from the front door and into the night air before two ushers came charging after us. We ditched the display in the gutter and ran away laughing our asses off.
To quote Paul Barker—
‘people probably found like a Ministry album and that’s why it failed- it was long, slow and difficult’.
Or words to that effect.
I am currently finding the visual of what you did to be hilarious. When are we ever going to commit ourselves to such obnoxious shennanigans?
I completely forgot about one bad cinema experience.
I was 16 and I went to the local shopping centre cineplex with two friends. We were walking up to the place, but they’d closed off the shortcut. I asked the security guard if we could use it and he said no.
Now… I really cannot explain my actions that I am about to describe. I’m not joking when I say I did a lot of things spontaneously and without thinking in my youth and I could never explain why I did it. I still occasionally have lapses, but they’ve become fewer and further between.
Anyway, I looked at everyone and looked at the ground and went ‘OK… 1… 2… 3’ and sprinted into the shopping centre. All the alarms started going off as I ran through and eventually I stopped and stood frozen in my spot. I turned around to the security guard and smiled and waved at him and he spear tackled me front on, even though he was slightly shorter. He dragged me to my friends and to be honest, he was asking me why I did it and I wasn’t really responding beyond ‘I don’t know’ and being nonchalant- it felt like a dream, bizarre as that may sound. I wasn’t reacting.
Anyway, the looks on my friends’ faces said they had and he immediately goes I’m going to have to call the police to both of my friends. One of them goes ‘You might not want to do that. He’s got Aspergers. Can we get in touch with his parents and carer first?’.
The security guard bought it and let me go. I bought my friends their tickets and food into the cinema. We saw Spiderman and spent the entire film paying out on it and everyone around us joined in.