Smrfy, I couldn’t have explained it any simpler than I did, but you chose to shoot holes/troll every time I tried. Now you have the more complicated, technical/scientific video to watch that I posted.
It was the first video I found, and it took less than 30 seconds to find. You are perfectly capable of doing the same.
Because they were born that way.
Conversion therapy does not work. 
Watch the video.
Hi, all. Long time, no talk, and while I do lurk from time to time these days, I’ve been pretty busy with a lot of cool (and waaaaack) developments in my life. But hey, it’s a crazy year and here I am fighting on the metaphorical front lines of a global pandemic and likely an impending economic collapse/paradigm shift, so I figured I’d reach out and get involved in this of all topics while I still have a job, my health, and an ever-increasing lack of sanity lololololol
There’s some truly Neanderthal-level takes going on here and a few really good ones, too, but really all I can do is just kinda provide anecdotal stuff cuz it’s all I got, really.
This last year was very, very jarring for me, both in good ways and a few really bad ones. Lots of new changes. New zip code, new job, my own place, and essentially all of these things kinda happened on my own and I’m so far removed from any family, social network, or safety net I once had. Yes, folks are still a phone call and a Greyhound away but especially now with travel bans and lockdowns all over it’s even farther.
Anyway, to the subject at hand. A big part of this change/growth/etc was coming to the realization that I am and always have been queer. I chose to use that word, as well as choosing to embrace the “Q” in LGBTQ+, because actually going into what I identify as is something I’d rather really not do with the discourse I’m seeing here, but also because the term gives me a sense of belonging to a greater whole. I’ve been “othered” my whole life, be it race/culture/status, and even if the label of “queer” is laughable to some, it gives me a huge amount of solidarity when for a great portion of my life I had less than none.
I went to a Pride festival this last year and while one could argue that the concept has been co-opted by corporate interests (and I’d likely agree with ya), what I got out of it was a day full of people whom I’ve never met that had zero judgment and an overflowing amount of love and acceptance. (What I am is very much a minority in the LGBTQ+ community, but I felt no lack of camaraderie.)
There is a lot of pressure on me by family and cultural norms to figure out what the hell I’m to do with myself, get married, have kids, pass on the family name, etc. Most of them are very supportive of me doing me by me which is very nice, but there’s still this feeling of “where did we go wrong” that isn’t spoken but is felt very, very strongly. Coming to terms with what I am and why I am as well as finding that there is not only a specific name, but that others are like me and HAPPY has been an enormous deal. It’s not logical justification, but it fucking HELPS, and feels GOOD, and really, that’s kind of all I ask for.
Super biased and likely inaccurate worldview incoming:
There are a lot of people whom for many reasons would rather people like myself and other people like me not exist. We complicate things. Humans have this need to quantify and qualify and place things into nice little boxes because at the crux of it all, we are scared, reactive, tribal creatures, and enormous, abrupt changes to reality, routine, and rhetoric are threatening. Relearning a lifetime of social scripts and permissions SUCKS, but hey, you gotta adapt or perish.
Related: I am assigned male at birth. I present extremely masculine. I dislike what being masculine and male entails of me, and I think the idea of what it is to be a “man” is not only something I have no interest in, but is also super outdated in the Year of Our Lord 2K20. I don’t give even the slightest damn about being a man, and have flirted with the idea of using gender-neutral pronouns for myself because of that. Being addressed as “they” just HITS different. I quite like it.
Explaining to someone who expects a logical, calculated argument from me as to why I am who/how I am and why I’m leaning toward what I identify as will get as much traction and prolly the same amount of blowback as expecting someone to give a sound, concrete reason why a person might have faith in any or many god(s). This may seem like a damning thing for me to say, but it’s not about logic, reason, etc. It’s this crazy, individual, unknown, unique thing, and honestly, unless you get it, you just won’t GET it.
Maybe it’s childish to want the world to accept me, blithely and offhandedly, for what I am on the terms I have decided to set. I’d likely agree with ya. It’d still be lovely, though. Me choosing to identify the way I do and preferring others address me the way I’d prefer isn’t about “hey, look at me, I’m special” so much as it is “boy, I’ve felt invalid the vast majority of my life, and like I don’t make sense and don’t belong, but i might be THIS, so please, please, let me feel, for an instant, even if it’s in jest, let me feel like I matter.”
A tall order, I know.
What I can offer is this: there is a lot of change going on in the world at large, and a little empathy and a realization that it’s okay to be wrong and make mistakes can go a loooong way.
I’m gonna wrap this up pretty much right here cuz this has the potential to turn into my entire worldview/agenda/manifesto, but yeah, this is kinda what I have to offer here. You are welcome to ask me for feedback/clarification, eithere here or in the PM’s. You’re welcome to tell me I’m full of garbage and misinformation (I’d likely agree!) or that I need mental help (my insurance sucks and mental health is still considered a luxury here in the USA!). You’re welcome to give me a short, quippy, punchy, rebuttal that would make the likes of Ben Shapiro weep with pure emotion if you’d like!
Despite the tone of that last statement, I truly have no ill will to any of you. I think that the notion to posit a “wtf” is pretty decent! You’re all pretty class acts and have been for years. Hell, I think a solid half of my life has been enriched in no small way by this super-niche board full of unique and interesting characters bonding over cool tunes and life’s wacky mysteries.
Cheers!
I’m totally cool with people “identifying” however they want to identify. But I don’t want to be “shamed” if I make a wrong call based on the clues provided. If there’s some person with a beard and a mullet, I’m going to assume it’s a “dude” and will likely address him as such as I’m prone or programmed to do. If that person throws a fit because I “assumed” their gender I really don’t have the time for such nonsense. If that type of thing is important to someone, literally all they have to do is TELL me. Hi, "My name is Jennifer. " All right, nice to meet you, Jennifer.
I made a conscious effort to use the he/r, s/he, pronouns when discussing Genesis P’Orridge because s/he was a very unique person and he/r identity, even if a mystery, was very pronounced and in your face. It’s no skin off my back whether someone wants to be known as a him, a her, or something else. Just let me know and we can carry on accordingly.
The only reason “they” always throws me for a loop (less so as time goes on and its normalization spreads) is that it is a PLURAL pronoun. I am in the habit of writing "If he or she . . . " in the case of a singular person of non-specified sex. But I guess that’s exclusive now. I often just try to do workarounds and use words like “individual” or “person”.
I think it would be cool and kind of interesting if there really was a new pronoun developed (many other countries have one) that does not specify male/female. We have “IT”, but people just aren’t ready to embrace that one, especially since it gets used derogatorily… which is kinda funny because often times (even though the person may be saying such stuff with a mean tone) we truly don’t know what to call IT.
Oh, and I also think that, despite my “go with the flow, I’ll call ya what you like” default setting, that there is a weird slippery slope that is often made way too slopey and way too slippery. I mean, yeah, I’ll accommodate you . . . . . but . . . does FB really need 75 fucking choices for “gender”? What the motherfucking fuck is a two-spirit anyway?
Cheers!
It actually sparks a funny point . . . I mean, the most noise about gender and identity and whatnot occurs on the Internet . . . where you can literally be anything you want. I’ll be communicating with someone and their name is Boxcutter Dragonleg and their profile pic is a fucking screaming orange… I really don’t give a fuck what that person looks like or what parts they have as I’m typically just interested in discussing ideas and topics. But many people have trouble interacting if they can’t first put you in a box with proper labels. My FB profile has me listed as a woman. I like having wrong info on my profiles to throw off weirdos, scammers, and stalkers. But then I’ll have a discussion about a world topic or social issue and then someone starts in with "You’re obviously some Trumphumping fascist. . . " or "You probably support Bernie, you Socialist fag . . . ". And they seem unable to have a conversation without me telling them “what I am” on various fronts (including ‘gender’ at times). I just don’t get it. Just fucking discuss the issues/topics. Why does it matter if I’m a dude/lady or what my political party is (I’m none, in case it matters to anyone reading this).
Didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know (over all). It seems the video couldn’t settle on a definition between sex and gender either. They’re not interchangeable. And really without a test you can’t be sure that you have a female brain. What does having a female brain entail? Having higher density in the left frontal lobe and larger volume right frontal lobe… what does that look like? It makes you like pink? And how does that square with matriarchal societies where women hold the power? Are those women really men?
Of course you explained it simple; that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I “chose to shoot holes/troll” because those are legitimate questions I have and I’m sure others may as well. If your explanations were solid there wouldn’t be anything for me to shoot holes in. Regardless of brain structure nobody needs to act a certain way. It’s ok for men to be in ballet without being trans and it’s ok for women to be into trucks and fighting without being trans.
Welcome back. I got some questions and since you’re inviting them this is probably gonna be long. None of these questions are an attack on you, but since you used yourself anecdotally These will be specific to you. But none of these questions are an attack, I’m genuinely curious, I’m sorry if some come off disrespectful.
I suppose that’s aimed at me, but how am I supposed to learn if I don’t ask?
I’ve always been under the impression that Queer was a unisex version of gay. I’ve thought the Q was a redundancy of the “LG.” If you take the literal definition of Queer it means strange. We’re all strange.
This is disturbing to me. This makes it seem like you feel insignificant in the world and you’ve chosen a group for a sense of belonging. Why not church? Bowling? Cosplay? Comics? race/culture/status? Those are all significant groups within the world. Why does your sexuality have to define you?
That’s great. is that the only place where this happens though? I’m not saying don’t go, what I am saying is there has got to be more groups of people out there like this, why not seek those groups out as well? It doesn’t hurt to surround yourself with positive groups.
That’s pretty much the norm in our society… That’s not a heavy weight on you alone. But just like anyone you can choose to accept it or choose to ignore it. It’s your choice and yours alone to make
Why wouldn’t there be others like you? You think you’re the only one like you? There’s nothing new under the sun and anything that you can think of or claim to be… others have been there long before you got there. Nobody is really alone. The fact that Incels are a community is proof enough of that.
Yeah, They’re called neo nazis, Alt right, republicans, you know, bigots. Theyre to be ignored unless they’re trying to make life difficult for someone else.
you’re doing the same thing by looking for a group. You have decided “This little box fits me.”
This is great. This is exactly what I’m talking about. Please explain to me what being Masculine entails of you? What are you forced to do because you present as male?
I don’t believe that. I understand why people believe in God/Gods, I think it’s nonsense, but I understand why.
I wouldn’t say childish but maybe more Naive. As a general rule, the world doesn’t accept anyone on the individual’s terms. Really, choosing LGBTQ+ is a way of conforming to the world and its labels. Why not just choose/behave what/how you like and not worry about the label? The world doesn’t care about you, or me, or anyone else for that matter. Does the gay pride event care about you if you aren’t there or identify as “Q”? Are you “Q” or did you have to adopt that to find some acceptance somewhere?
I’d never do that. especially for sharing something so personal. Thank you for adding into the conversation with your experiences. To be perfectly blunt, By what you’ve written, I’d likely suggest you are confused about your place in the world and your insecurity about being insignificant in it. That doesn’t mean you aren’t “Q” but it doesn’t mean you are either. BTW I don’t know who Ben Shapiro is… Wasn’t he Oj’s lawyer?
Glad you’re back, Hopefully you stick around for a while that way you can be a Pronger too! 
This ^^^^^^^^^^
This ^^^^^^
Well, It’s mostly known as a plural, but it’s apparently been a singular as well since Chaucer. As I wrote before, I think, (don’t want to look for it right now) My niece is a “they” and it trips me out when my wife and sister in law discus “they” and I think they’re talking about all of her kids and not just one. But yeah, “They” and “them” are plurals to me as well.
Still, I wanna know why. Is it some rebellion thing our society is going through. Is our Society turning into an adolescent?
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Especially over the last couple of days based on this thread (and the fact that I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’m cleaning), and I think the crux of my question is…
What does it mean to be male/female?
because if there is a rigid definition I doubt many people would fit into those presets perfectly. So when people say he/she it would stand to reason they are pronouning based on sex not gender. and by that reasoning calling Caitlin Jenner a “he” would still be appropriate because he’s still male, sex wise.
I’m not sure what the “what it means to be male” answer is either, Grumps. I think it’s a weird thing to chew on too much because, yeah, “gender” may be a social construct, but so is genderizing (is that a word?) different activities/ roles/ hobbies/ etc. Men can be pastry chefs. Women can join the Army. All this shit changes all the damned time. Remember when we were kids and there was that joke/riddle about the boy who’s father died and then the doctor says, “I can’t operate on this boy, he’s my son!” and we used to get thrown by it because we just assumed doctors were “men” and nurses were “women”? Hell, I think even as recent as those “Focker” movies, the Ben Stiller character was getting shit for going into nursing. Tell those so-called riddles now and I doubt it would snag anyone born after 1990.
I like listening to Miley Cyrus and I like some pretty girly teen-oriented TV shows like “One Tree Hill”, “That’s So Raven”, “Gilmore Girls” and so on. I steal my wife’s Venus razors and Skinsations shaving gel because I like a smooth shave and the fruity smells. And when I’m by myself on travel I like to order some pretty gay ass fucking cocktails. I’ve yet to grow a vagina because of any of it and don’t have any more or less desire to swallow a dick either.
I think the historical evolution of “gayness” or flamboyance is interesting. In ancient times was there such a thing as “acting gay”? Beats me. I’m just curious.
Ultimately, I really don’t care who people are attracted to, who they sleep with, or what they identify as. If they ain’t hurting others or impeding on my own attempts to succeed in life and enjoy a moment, it’s all good.
To answer the BEN SHAPIRO question. He’s a so-called conservative commentator, talker dude. I’m not sure if he has a TV/radio show or what, but he weighs in on stuff a lot and has been a prominent voice in the emerging “gender” debates. Like that Chowder guy (I can’t remember his first name) he gets equated with callous, bigoted, hate speech, etc. I actually rather enjoy both of them. I don’t agree with everything, but they respectfully and thoughtfully present their ideas and opinions, despite getting attacked on all fronts (which is really the largest piece of their marketing/ exposure). If nothing else, it’s fun to watch these guys to see how to effectively manage oneself in arguments/ debates. While not siding with them politically, you’d probably at least enjoy seeing their style and tactics in having or attempting reasonable dialogue on such topics.
I’ve been tired of the self-seriousness of everyone and their fucking labels for every god dammed thing for a long time…guess what? Life is just a little blip in time…we are all just humans trying to get by…one day us and everyone we know will be fucking dust…get over yourselves for fuck sake…
Which is great. I don’t think these careers need to be genderized. I honestly don’t think any job needs to be gender specific unless we’re talking wet nurse.
You’re right on the money. That riddle gets none of my freshmen, hasn’t for years.
Me too I even liked My so-called life back in the day.
I haven’t done that yet but I would have no problem doing so if I needed a razor and had no gel.
This is totally me. I don’t need to be on travel but I really don’t care for the taste of beer and any fruity drink that hides the taste of alcohol the better. I used to order Zima’s way back when.
But that’s back to gay though and not gender. “I’m not really gay I was just born in the wrong body.” That seems, for lack of a better word, rude. As if there’s some problem with being gay.
It’s a good question. I know that gay wasn’t frowned on in Greek times. As a matter of fact Greek men would fuck adolescent boys and reserve women for reproduction only… Was that considered gay? or just sex?
Yeah I definitely agree with this too but it seems like this whole Trans thing has been weaponized in some circles. If you ask about it or fuck up and use the wrong pronoun that is the end of YOU
He sounds like Joe Rogan. Rogan gets the conservative/hate monger label from various groups. Which is stupid. That dude is way more planted on the left side of the spectrum than the right. But that label appears to be based on the faulty premise of “if you’re you’re not with me you’re against me.” bullshit. He definitely has some conservative leanings, 2nd amendment proponent (although he’s rational about it and realizes not everyone has a need or should have a gun) slagging shit at liz warren for the native american thing (which is bullshit cause #1 the test did show she had some native american blood albeit not a lot and if she really was trying to pull a scam she never would’ve tested her self let alone release the results.) He’s got some other conservative leanings too (But not many) that make it hard to listen to him at times but it’s respectful and I find him having a lot of the same ideals that i do.
BTW you can skip his stand-up, it’s horrifically bad Calling him bench warmer for the JV squad would be mighty generous, and I’m not into MMA/fighting (I guess that makes me a girl) so I don’t know know what his commentator skills are like, but his Podcast is fantastic. He really shines there. Very personable, very polite Just seems like a nice fucking guy.
That’s all it has ever been. It’s always been about gay rights. I don’t think it gets anymore political than that.
I would imagine it’s probably still the same struggle most minorities deal with. Yeah it’s all legal now but there’s still discrimination that goes on. That woman in Tennessee (?) that wouldn’t issue marriage certificates to Gay people. That Church in Mississippi That wouldn’t marry an inter racial couple. Just cause laws are passed doesn’t mean the struggle is over.
Well, that’s the idea anyway but not necessarily always in practice.
And what’s ridiculous is that now saying/writing that is such a controversial statement. It shouldn’t be.
I love the Rogan interviews. I play 'em on YouTube all the time.
YO!
Re: Pronouns…
Personally, even though being a “man” means fuck all to me, I don’t mind being referred to as he/him, cuz it’s been my life for three decades and it’s pretty easy to identify a bearded, deep-voiced goon as a dude. I’m kinda experimenting with the idea of gender-nooch identifiers for myself but I really, REALLY don’t wanna “come out” guns blazing with the notion to the general public/employers/family/etc cuz while they’ll likely accept it given time, the adjustment process is gonna piss ME off lolol.
Also, I know this is gonna sound dumb as hell, cuz it is, but it’s not being male or masculine I directly take issue with, it’s the dumb, paleolithic social construct of being a MAN that I find repulsive.
To change how other people would refer to me involuntarily would necessitate a huge change in mannerisms and appearance, and while I can get in touch with my femininity and fuckin rock some painted acrylics, I look like the goddamn Devil minus a beard, and honestly, I LIKE presently-configured me.
Baby steps, man
Re: Pronouns for other people…
If I’m unsure and can’t make a hard read, I’ve gotten in the habit of asking a person in private what they’d like to be called (THIS IS A BIG FUCKIN DEAL AND I ENCOURAGE ASKING IN PRIVATE IF YOU CAN, SOME PEOPLE CAN’T BE WHO THEY FEEL INSIDE IN PUBLIC), and if I just botch a read, I just offer a quick apology then correct myself. I try to use gender neutral terminology anyway cuz I’m a giant SJW at heart and I have no shame about that.
Life is too short to be a jerk, especially now. Just go with it! Might get confusing, but again, baby steps!
I’m totally cool with people “identifying” however they want to identify. But I don’t want to be “shamed” if I make a wrong call based on the clues provided. If there’s some person with a beard and a mullet, I’m going to assume it’s a “dude” and will likely address him as such as I’m prone or programmed to do. If that person throws a fit because I “assumed” their gender I really don’t have the time for such nonsense. If that type of thing is important to someone, literally all they have to do is TELL me. Hi, "My name is Jennifer. " All right, nice to meet you, Jennifer.
So, real talk? The number of people who are going to outright SHAME you if you goof up a read is like single digits, and honestly, those people are prolly trash. That video of the person at like a Gamestop or whatever who got misgendered and popped the fuck off at the cashier with “IT’S MA’AM” is an incredibly vocal minority and a total meme, and also prolly not pleasant company at all.
You’ll prolly be fine!
Re: Slippery slopes… I wouldn’t worry to much about that. Again, those goons that are all like “Yo, I identify as an attack helicopter” are just that, dumb goons.
Yo, smrf!
Identifying as queer isn’t so much about my sexuality but that does kinda play into it. I’ll level with ya, it’s kinda unknown territory to me at this point still, so I might not have all the answers you’re looking for.
Regarding my sexuality defining me, that was NEVER the intent, but to have a NAME for why I’ve so badly fucked up the vast majority of relationships I’ve had and WHY I tick the way I do is pretty cool! Now that I know what’s up, it makes navigating current relations WAY easier and makes understanding why old flings failed or fizzled possible (this has resulted in a few phone calls and a few hatchets buried/bridges untorched, so win!).
My flag’s colors are fucking GANG, for what it’s worth ~
Re: Masculinity/Being a MMMMAYUN, BAYBEEE:
It’s all stereotypes and cultural relics that’s just kind of haphazardly nailed to my Y chromosome that I never asked for lol. Stupid stuff and inane BS, ranging from “yo, you’re a guy, you wanna help me fix my car” to “yo, you’re a guy, please put up with my casual racism and overt sexism.” I speak and carry myself a certain way that invites people to just come off like complete degens and say and do things that they wouldn’t be caught dead doing or saying in front of their mothers, so what gives?
Dumb example: I work with a mix of men and women. Sometimes a customer will be in front of both myself and a female employee and be perfectly civilized, then the moment the female leaves, the worst shit pops outta their face that I apparently encourage cuz I look like the fuckin Devil I guess, not always but sometimes directed towards the female employee in a derogatory way. Stuff like “Gee, what’s up her butt?” or “Life can’t be all candybars and blowjobs” or the one that actually got me a write-up for how I reacted: “SHE’D BE PRETTIER IF SHE SMILED” oh fuck RIGHT OFF aaaaaugghhhhhhh
Anyway:
Being a BIGASS MAN is wack cuz the exact moment you display any emotion beyond AWWWW YEEEEAAAAHH or AWWWWW MAAAAANNN a lot of things about you get thrown into question. Compliment a woman on her killer fuckin manicure? Yo, why you lookin at her fingers and not her jugs, what are you, gay? Start bawling at a wedding? DUDE WTF THIS AIN’T YOUR MOMENT. Display hesitance to do a dangerous task? FUCKIGN PUSSY DUDE OMG. Genuinely tear up over Bill Rieflin’s passing? OK that one actually got a pass lol
A friend suggested I stop presenting so masculine. Bruh. I’m six feet tall with a bigass beard that won’t. stop. GROWING. and a super deep voice that’d give Pete Steele’s a run for its money. I just don’t have the physiology to look like this perfect genderless being - I’m kinda hardlocked for real in GUY MODE.
Hopefully my posts and/or me don’t get the boot for multiposting, the new format’s taking some getting used to.
TL;DR(?): Choosing to identify in the manner I do does make me feel like part of something bigger but that is not the primary aim, rather it’s kinda like a scalpel I’m using to peel back some layers, or maybe more accurately a clamp to hold certain layers in place while I get knuckle deep in the REAL guts of the matter (my metaphors are still terrible. Nothing really changes), and being a man is fuckin boring, overrated, and pisses me off (it does have its perks and unfortunately we still live in a godforsaken patriarchy, but the human in me hates that I get a free pass in a LOT of things just cuz I happen to have male equipment).
That’s… a lot less clear than I wanted to make things, but hey, THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT, and as I think I’ve said like 7157251576 times this week, BABY STEPS~
Yeah^ I thought this too. which is why I wrote:
"This is disturbing to me. This makes it seem like you feel insignificant in the world and you’ve chosen a group for a sense of belonging. Why not church? Bowling? Cosplay? Comics? race/culture/status? Those are all significant groups within the world. Why does your sexuality have to define you?"
I don’t know what this means
Right, but aren’t you doing the same thing by playing into the stereotypes that are nailed to the X chromosome? If the stereotypes are the problem maybe it’s time to stop embracing them as a person.
Yes, that’s stereotypically attributed to men but really it’s just asshole behavior and can be displayed by anyone. Why not be a man (Ha Ha see what I did there?) and stand up against that stereotype and tear it down? (I don’t like cars either)
HA HA don’t hype yourself. EVERYBODY does that. Linguists even have a name for it. They call it code switching. You don’t speak the same way to your 90 year old grandmother that you do to the average customer at work.
So what? If the whole point of being “Q” is to shove labels/stereotypes in people’s faces why not break the mold of “what it means to be male?”
Ugh, oh! I’ve been doing this for years! I wouldn’t consider myself a woman, though.
Why you asking, you want to fuck me? I might have been looking at her jugs too depending on what mood I was in. I might not have. But either way you can’t compliment jugs and it doesn’t matter anyway because I think her nails look pretty. Soooooo, what?
I squirted a few tears at my buddies wedding, His wife was breathtakingly beautiful. I didn’t make a scene but still…
Fuck yeah I don’t do dangerous shit! “You go ahead, you’re gonna need someone to drive you to the hospital when this goes wrong.” Dude, I guess I’m a woman. I have no problems doing/have done many of these things. And I’m sure a ton other dudes are the same way.
I don’t say this to be mean but it seems to me you’re buying into stereotypes and you’re letting stereotypes define you and because you’re doing that you’re reinforcing stereotypes. “women act like this. I act like this, therefore I am a woman.”
I don’t think it’s as cut and dry as that. Men and women both share behaviors and characteristics. It’s more than just some superficial masculinity or femininity.
Why do you have to not present as masculine? Cause you compliment fingernails? That’s ridiculous! Again, Why do you have to be genderless? Why can’t you be you who likes what you like?
No, no no, the stereotypes of being a man are those things. Don’t buy into the stereotypes. break the mold. be a fucking leader that shows emotions on dudes are ok! Just be you. liking stereotypical girl things does not make one a woman. Nor does liking stereotypical male things make one a male.
Look, I’ve been describing some males (Brad Pitt, George Clooney, My server at Slater’s 50/50 grill) as “hot,” “beautiful” “gorgeous” etc. for years. (I still love the looks I get when people hear me say that stuff) I don’t want to fuck them, or be with them. I just know the difference between attractive and not attractive, because I use those words to describe them doesn’t make me a woman. Because I can see the beauty in an attractive male doesn’t make me a woman or even gay. It’s just me being me. That’s me, I comment on shit. I dont find myself particularly attractive so my obsessions with looks is definitely based on jealousy. another “woman trait.” But still I’m not a woman. Are people so uncomfortable with certain aspects of themselves that their willing to rearrange their entire person to fit into some stereotypical box? Doesn’t seem right.
You’re both like entirely off base. I have a ton of friends and over the past year have given up maintaining the more toxic relationships and been way more honest with myself, which in turn has allowed some REALLY cool people in to my life! Turns out when you embrace YOU, people dig that and like it!
I’m not this crazy social pariah or anything. I just figured out a lotta things about my mentals and my psychology, and why those haven’t played as well as they could have in my personal life, when for YEARS not having answers to that was seriously affecting my confidence and my ability to maintain friendships/relationships.
I may have made things sound much more dire than they are, and honestly, they might have been. This kinda took me years to come to terms with but only recently was I given the vocabulary to express it, but I assure you, I’m not out here trying to neck myself or anything. I LIKE who I am and I LIKE the fact that I have something tangible (though a bit murky) to latch on to while I suss out all the deets.
I’m here. I’m queer. I’m drinking beer. 