Yeah but there’s varying degrees to this. I know a dude that’s so effeminate you would swear he’s gay but he’s very hetero. Even got busted cheating on his wife (with a woman).
Some women like riding dirt bikes and a whole variety of other typically masculine activities; that doesn’t make them guys.
Same with dudes, many dudes like opera or shopping for clothes or any one of a number of feminine tropes. that doesn’t make them women.
It all seems very superficial to me. very costumey.
This is really what it comes down to. If your pursuit of happiness means that I’m required to do something for you… sounds like you got some control issues. It’s not that you’re a woman now, it’s that you’re trying to control me and my thoughts/actions. Very unhealthy.
In most cases stereotypes and the loud minority go hand in hand, which is a shame. This just isn’t exclusive to minority groups-There’s such a thing of toxic masculinity where straight men are afraid of being perceived as gay if they show any sign of sensitivity. But most people know that’s not how most straight men are. The majority of the LGBT community go unseen. They’re out and about, doing the same things as everyone else-shopping, getting food, taking care of kids, paying the bills, trying to stay on top of life.
But I agree, I think it is toxic behavior to make your sexuality your defining trait. Some times people are attention grabbers and want a sense of entitlement, and sometimes they are the product of an abusive family/background and they temporarily need that reassurance until they’re comfortable in their own skin.
Getting back on topic, I’m always respectful of anyone who needs to transition. I’m terrible at pronouns though, especially if I’ve known someone for years. I’ll try my best, but If I fumble it’s not out of disrespect. I definitely agree that respect should be mutual in those types of situations.
Refusing to use someone’s preferred pronouns is akin to The Big Lebowski refusing to call The Dude “Dude”. You can do it, but you’ll look like a total asshole.
Really? “You’d look like a total asshole?” The 6 foot 2 hairy ass gorilla wearing revlon make up and a bra with pretend boobs isn’t the asshole? Not playing along makes you an asshole? Okay! Good to know.
If I wan to be black cause I feel black does that mean get to walking around saying N*gga? and if people don’t play along with that are they too still the asshole?
Asking for a friend.
I also mess that up from time to time because I knew them before (from the age of 3) and the hormones alone haven’t changed their facial appearance enough.
Think of it as the movies Freaky Friday or Big but the swaps are mother-son and father-daughter and they are permanent. The outside needs to reflect what is on the inside.
That doesn’t work because in those movies those people have experience in the opposite body. They used to be a boy in a boy body now theyre in a girl body experiencing a girl body. Nobody in real life has experience in the opposite bodies You will never ever experience Blue balls. A female cannot. I will never ever experience menstrual cramps. A male cannot. These people claiming to be women or men can guess what it’s like to be these sexes but they will never know. Just like being a white dude I will never know anything of the black experience. You can’t be a man cause you’re not a man. I can’t be a woman because I’m not a woman. It seems at best it’s pretend and worst it’s a mental problem.
Nope, that would be bad and you know it.
What’s the difference? I don’t know anyone who has told me that they were born the wrong race, but know real living humans who feel they were born the wrong sex. I don’t really know if being born the wrong race feeling exists outside of straw man arguments. (Though I’m sure deep internet research will tell me there’s some online group with 15 such people).
The real question comes down to why would you want to be mean to someone simply because you don’t agree with a decision that doesn’t hurt anyone. I don’t think asking someone to use a specific pronoun is really hurtful to the person asked, whereas purposefully not using the pronoun can be (and if you’re friends, I’ve found people are fine with slip-ups if they’re well intended).
Yeah “Harden the fuck up” is the sort of advice in tried to follow when I was younger. It’s only as I’ve gotten older and more comfortable in my skin that I realize toughening up never did me much good. I mis-identified armor with strength and spent a lot of time toughening the outside world away from me. It caused me to dive deep into alcoholism and basically ruined my first marriage. Hardening up may work for some people, but I feel way happier, healthier and generally more successful since I’ve done challenging work to allow my vulnerability to be a strength not a weakness.
Just keep thinking inside your box and defending and rationalizing your opinion of something you cannot and don’t ever want to understand despite stating otherwise on the internet.
I’d be super careful about describing it as a mental illness. Being gay was once considered a mental illness. That sort of thinking has hurt tons of people and offered very little benefit to anyone. Let’s not perpetuate that cycle.
“Nothing you say or do is going to change my mind!”
Not coincidentally, you look like a total asshole right now!
Yeah, good one. Way to completely change the subject and not offer anything. That’s kind of the problem with this discussion over all. People get mad and instead of trying to help others understand, it comes down to “do it or else you’re an asshole.” I hope you’re not an ambassador for trans people. Yikes.
I wasn’t necessarily describing it as a mental illness and I realize that, and that’s a fair comparison to what I suggested. But that was a way for people to understand back in an age where people didn’t understand about pheromones and how attraction more or less works. It’s easy (and lazy) to understand it as a mental disease. It’s unfortunate that that label has hurt people and continues to do so (Mike Pence’s Conversion camps) but for a moment let’s assume isn’t it possible that this could be a disorder? I mean body dysmorphia is a disorder and doesn’t this seem to be a type of body dysmorphia?
That may be the case for DJ but not me. Don’t through me in that boat. As I said at the start of this thread I wanna understand. I wanna get it, but right now I’m having a hard time with it. Will I use the pronouns somebody wants me to use for them? Absolutely, that doesn’t mean I understand though. My niece is trans and it takes me a couple of minutes to figure out that my wife or sister in law isn’t talking about all of my nieces and nephew when referring to my niece as “They” Or “Them.” That’s definitely frustrating.
If it’s not too personal Could explain this a little more?
Certainly. Kind of my point.
I think we’re all familiar with the term "wiggers.
Doesn’t take deep research at all.This chick was featured on tosh.o.
And as I said there are ton of people (not 15) out there that identify as black even though they are not. How come their feelings are not valid But gender feelings are? What about the white lady that identified as black to head the NAACP chapter in washing state (Rachel Dolezole?) -Which was stupid cause white people can join the NAACP. -That’s no straw man. I like Elizabeth warren but she was identifying as Native American when she’s clearly is not.
I don’t think anyone would want to be mean (Well of course some but over all…) I think what is mean is the backlash to people who misgender their pronouns and the trans people flip the fuck out. Nobody knew you wanted to be a “they” you look like a girl so we took a stab at “she.”
I completely agree. but it doesn’t get at the root of “why”
Why are you a girl now? Why are you a boy now? because you like Pink? Cause you’re nurturing? cause you’re callous and don’t care about flowers or anniversary dates? How come personal pronouns are based on gender and not sex? Who decided this?