Like the title says, please list your predictions for 2015 on a “world scale” (ie. major events/catastrophes, celebrity deaths, outbreaks of genocide…all the interesting stuff).
In exactly one year we will review what was written here and then have a good ol’ chuckle at how WRONG we all were. Like when people said that Obama was the “answer”.
[laugh]
Ahem…anyway…
2015 Folks!
Cocksure and TKK will each headline a night of Cold Waves. The TKK set will feature Confessions Of A Knife in it’s entirety to commemorate the albums 25th anniversary, along with other Wax era classics, and it will be the last time TKK will perform any songs from that period. Cocksure’s set will not only feature guest appearances from Paul Barker and Luc Van Acker, but the set list will also feature BS&Q performed in it’s entirety, along with other classics such as “At The Top” and a one time only exclusive performance of “Stick.” Bill Rieflin will also be performing.
Cold Waves IV will be the the icing on the cake for Uncle Al. Meaning he will finally decide to bury the hatchet with former bandmates and talks of a Ministry reunion tour for 2016 will take place.
The release of the new Coal Chamber album will be the beginning of the 2nd Wave Of Nu-Metal.
“The Pale Emperor” will be Marilyn Manson’s worst selling album and possibly the biggest flop of the year. Poor sales and bad reviews of the tour (featuring a phenomenal set by an unknown artist named Justin Symbol) will cause Manson to reach out to Trent Reznor for one last attempt at a comeback.
Wax Trax shall have it’s own 2nd coming with the success of it’s documentary and highly anticipated release of the Retrospectacle dvd. Julia Nash will announce the signing of The Corrugation following a show stopping performance at Cold Waves IV that will have people talking for years to come.
Skinny Puppy will win their $666,000 lawsuit against the U.S…
PIG VS KMFDM II will happen.
Thorns will finally release their 2nd album and it will change the way we look at metal music forever.
I will die at some point between March 8th and Thanksgiving.
“The Bridge” will NOT be built.
FBTE will NOT be played in its entirety as promised for the new Ministry tour.
FBTE will NOT be played in its entirety as promised for the new Ministry tour.
Yes, and I predict that they will add two songs from Rape & Honey to the set list. And one from Filthpig.
I’d be stoked to hear one FP track. It won’t happen, but it would be rad. I suspect the set list will be near identical to 2012 but “Psalm 69” and all the “Relapse” tunes will be cutout for a few FBTE tracks.
sigh
Well, I’ll begin then…
In 2015 -
The U.N council will continue to do absolutely fuck all about the atrocities perpertrated by the North Korean government on the North Korean people and instead will focus on propagating the myth that is “global warming”.
Obama will send America even further into debt - but will in turn give lots of fluffy speeches and use lots of “positive” and “pro active” keywords to make it look like even even gives a shit.
Under an Obama led America, racial tensions between blacks and whites will intensify.
Even more Americans will struggle under the fallacy that is “Obamacare”.
Whoopi Goldberg and her nauseating leftist co-horts on The View will further embarrass themselves by publicly proving that they haven’t one fucking clue among them.
New Horizons spaceprobe will begin photographing Pluto in what will be a first for mankind - but will largely be ignored by the Obama administration who have sent the space race back into the stone age with their complete and utter indifference to it.
Vladimir Putin will eat a small Ukranian child on live television, much to the joy of his adoring fans.
China will get even bigger.
People the world over will continue to bitch and moan about Rupert Murdoch.
Some Islamic terrorist will do something really bad somewhere.
Celebrity Deaths:
Winona Ryder
Martha Stewart
Michael Bay
Dennis Rodman
Engelbert Humperdinck
The blonde woman from ABBA
Betty White
The guy who played Hitler in that film that youtubers are always parodying
One of the Apollo Astronauts
Danny DeVito
Michael Jackson’s parents
Steven Tyler
The Judds
…
Bad Blood will make it’s way back into the set list.
As for Celebrity Deaths:
William Shatner
Charlie Watts
Varg Vikernes
Maynard James Keenan
Paris Hilton
Dane Cook
The Edge
Phil Anselmo
Lita Ford
Violent J
Danny Bonaduce
Blackie Lawless
Ted Nugent
George Fisher
George Foreman
Fred Durst
Lil Wayne
Mike Judge
Scott Stapp
In music:
-Tool will not release a new album
-Al will released more cleaned up lost tracks from '82-'85. He will refer to them all as “With Sympathy” outtakes no matter when they were recorded.
-There will either be a new Lard or the Dubweiser project, but not both
-Trent Reznor will release on of his occasional surprise albums
-Nobody outside of hardcore fans will notice Marilyn Manson’s newest release. By 2017 he’ll have a complete breakdown like the one that happened recently with Scott Stapp.
In film:
-Avengers 2 will break summer box office records, but Ant-Man will be the least successful Marvel movie yet. Pundits will ask “Is the superhero genre dead?”
-The new Star Wars will break Christmas box office records, but reviews will be wildly mixed.
-The new Mad Max will barely make its money back but its fans will be wildly enthusiastic
-The new Terminator will flop big time.
-Next year’s biggest Oscar winner will be a film that nobody’s heard of yet. It will take place in Edwardian England.
In geopolitics:
-Kim Jong Un’s shenanigans will finally get too bizarre for even China to put up with, and they’ll secretly support a quiet military coup in North Korea.
-Fidel Castro will die. Cruise ships will start making tentative plans to dock in Havana.
-A U.S. Supreme Court justice will die. Congress will block all of Obama’s choices to fill the spot and it will be a major kerfluffle.
-There will be a major natural disaster in East Asia. Perhaps a volcano.
-One of the major hackers in the “Anonymous” group will get arrested for child porn.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I swear I thought Fidel had died a couple years ago.
In music:
-Tool will not release a new album
-Al will released more cleaned up lost tracks from '82-'85. He will refer to them all as “With Sympathy” outtakes no matter when they were recorded.
-There will either be a new Lard or the Dubweiser project, but not both
-Trent Reznor will release on of his occasional surprise albums
-Nobody outside of hardcore fans will notice Marilyn Manson’s newest release. By 2017 he’ll have a complete breakdown like the one that happened recently with Scott Stapp.
In film:
-Avengers 2 will break summer box office records, but Ant-Man will be the least successful Marvel movie yet. Pundits will ask “Is the superhero genre dead?”
-The new Star Wars will break Christmas box office records, but reviews will be wildly mixed.
-The new Mad Max will barely make its money back but its fans will be wildly enthusiastic
-The new Terminator will flop big time.
-Next year’s biggest Oscar winner will be a film that nobody’s heard of yet. It will take place in Edwardian England.
In geopolitics:
-Kim Jong Un’s shenanigans will finally get too bizarre for even China to put up with, and they’ll secretly support a quiet military coup in North Korea.
-Fidel Castro will die. Cruise ships will start making tentative plans to dock in Havana.
-A U.S. Supreme Court justice will die. Congress will block all of Obama’s choices to fill the spot and it will be a major kerfluffle.
-There will be a major natural disaster in East Asia. Perhaps a volcano.
-One of the major hackers in the “Anonymous” group will get arrested for child porn.
This whole thing sounds so prescient, i’m starting to think you’ve been messing about in your time machine again.
Joe Cocker didn’t make it to 2015…
I hear his real name was Joe Peniser, but he changed it because it was too embarrassing.
"Gonna die with a little help from my friends . . .
Wait.
Never mind. I got this."
Hahaha, fantastic, the humour of the macabre sir!
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott will officially call it quits and battle over child custody, causing Tori to be hospitalized with an eating disorder.
causing Tori to be hospitalized with an eating disorder.
And her roommate will be none other than…
drumroll
SHANNON DOHERTY!
In music:
-Tool will not release a new album
Not really a prediction though is it? That’s like saying grass will grow. Or farmers will plow fields.
The U.N council will continue to do absolutely fuck all about the atrocities perpertrated by the North Korean government on the North Korean people and instead will focus on propagating the myth that is “global warming”.
Obama will send America even further into debt - but will in turn give lots of fluffy speeches and use lots of “positive” and “pro active” keywords to make it look like even even gives a shit.
Under an Obama led America, racial tensions between blacks and whites will intensify.
Even more Americans will struggle under the fallacy that is “Obamacare”.
Whoopi Goldberg and her nauseating leftist co-horts on The View will further embarrass themselves by publicly proving that they haven’t one fucking clue among them.
New Horizons spaceprobe will begin photographing Pluto in what will be a first for mankind - but will largely be ignored by the Obama administration who have sent the space race back into the stone age with their complete and utter indifference to it.
sigh We all, I’m sure, have access to 24 hour cable news. did you really need to retype it here? [:|]
2015 —
Lithuania joins the Eurozone
The Eurasian Union is formed
The first solar aircraft to circumnavigate the globe
Expo 2015 is held in Milan, Italy
The Large Hadron Collider reaches its maximum operating power
The world’s first fully sustainable, zero-carbon, zero-waste city
The first self-regulating artificial heart
A new generation of hi-tech supercarriers
The United States and South Korea dissolve the Combined Forces Command
The first large-scale solar updraft towers are operational
Queen Elizabeth II is the longest reigning monarch in British history
Personal biometric scanners for online banking
DDR4 memory reaches the home PC market
Windows 10 is released by Microsoft
10 nanometre chips enter mass production
The Archival Disc format is launched
The Carteret Islands are abandoned
The New Horizons probe arrives at Pluto
The Dawn probe arrives at Ceres
The first advertisement on the Moon
Electric car ownership reaches 1 million worldwide
Trucks with emergency braking systems are mandatory in Europe
^
You forgot the bit where pitbull terriers are finally bred out of existence.
…
…
And the bit about how Kiss continue to drag their once proud name through the sewerage of camp pantomime.
Other than that…bravo.