PHOEBE CATES -- by JW

Discussion
1

I wrote this song because tits.

PHOEBE CATES by JW Watson Written January 4, 2017
(Sung to tune of “Halloween” by The Misfits)

Sittin’ in my comfy chair.
Tryin’ to act like I don’t care
I remember Phoebe Cates

She emerges from the pool
And I’m about to choke on drool
I remember Phoebe Cates

Two globes that shook the world
Knuckles white on fingers curled
I remember Phoebe Cates

The greatest thing in all the land
I’m so horny I can’t stand
I remember Phoebe Cates

Wish the scene would never end
Can’t wait to tell my friends
I remember Phoebe Cates

Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates

Life will never be the same
Compared to her all else is lame
I remember Phoebe Cates

Red bikini of history
No longer a mystery
I remember
Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates
Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates, Phoebe Cates

2

This brought a small tear to my eye…and to my penis.

Phoebe Cates:greatest 80s chick of all time…no contest…

3

PHOEBE CATES did not invent tits.
She just perfected them.

4

Holy shit . . . . she’s been married to Kevin Kline since 1989!!! What the fuck???

Well . . . . congratulations, Kevin.
Now I have to kill you.

[Phoebe Cates = 53. Kevin Kline = 69]

5

Holy shit . . . . she’s been married to Kevin Kline since 1989!!! What the fuck???

Well . . . . congratulations, Kevin.
Now I have to kill you.

[Phoebe Cates = 53. Kevin Kline = 69]

You didn’t know she was married to Kline at all or just didn’t know they were married that long?

6

You didn’t know she was married to Kline at all or just didn’t know they were married that long?

Neither, actually.
I’ve spent many many hours discussing her tits and their impact on film history, American politics, and climate change, but never (until today) bothered looking into anything else about her, hahaha!!!

7

Hahaha well,I will say one thing…she has held up very well while many others her age have hit the wall hard…

8

Hahaha well,I will say one thing…she has held up very well while many others her age have hit the wall hard…

Yeah, I was looking for recent pics and I was like, “Is that her dad or something . . . ?”

9

She was a piece, man.

10

She was a piece, man.

Here IMDB listing helps me understand why I couldn’t name any other movies with her. Aside from Gremlins, she hasn’t really done shit, haha.

But I refuse to acknowledge any man from my generation that does not know her name and have those tits burned forever into his cerebral cortex.

11

Yeah, she pretty much married Kevin Kline and retired.

But, as Queer Bait points out, she is holding up pretty well for her age.

12

Yeah, she looks terrific.
Kevin Kline looks like an ancient piece of shit.
But Phoebe . . . . whoa, mama!

How many red bikinis do you think Kevin has bought her? Like 1000? I bet he makes her bathe in one just so she could step out and pop it off in slow motion every time.

13

I just watched Fast Times again the other day, and I’d like to register my opinion that Jennifer Jason Leigh’s nude scene in the film is criminally underrated.
That is all.

14

I just watched Fast Times again the other day, and I’d like to register my opinion that Jennifer Jason Leigh’s nude scene in the film is criminally underrated.
That is all.

Agreed…and then poor Damone busts his load in record time…

17

I had no idea who this was until this thread.
Thanks very much.
And thanks to google image search.

18

I had no idea who this was until this thread.
Thanks very much.
And thanks to google image search.

Be sure to either get the DVD (it’s worth buying) or at least find a video clip of the full pool scene somewhere . . . it’s just glorious.

19

I saw her boobs in a movie once. And Rik Mayal rolled Matchbox cars down them and dunked her tampons in some red wine.

20

I saw her boobs in a movie once. And Rik Mayal rolled Matchbox cars down them and dunked her tampons in some red wine.

Yeah . . . don’t take this the wrong way or anything, Bro. But you are literally the worst troll this site has ever seen. Seriously, the worst. God bless you.

21

Something tells me he’s Australian.

22

Something tells me he’s Australian.

Oh, yeah.
There’s a definite stench of kangaroo dookie on this one as well.