MINISTRY JUNE 10, 2015 HOB VEGAS REVIEW:
Finally went inside the House of Blues at 10pm since we were told showtime for Ministry would be 10:15. We didn’t want to waste any perfectly good drinking and gambling time. Perfect timing as the intro music was playing right when we got inside (after a quick stop at the beer card for some Colt45 tallboys). We went down to the floor and started rocking out. We were about 30 feet from the stage on the left hand side. I caught Sin Quirin’s eye from stage and he pointed at me and then motioned over to the the very humble G-rated pit and mouthed “Where are you?” and pointed back at the pit. My friends laughed as they all knew what that meant. Sin knows he can count on seeing me going bananas in the pit. I raised up my beer and pointed to it to show him that I was just gonna get a bit more fuel in my tank first.
Joe and I pounded our beers and then charged through the crowd to get to the pit area. We slammed around and showed the kids how to do it right and things got a bit more animated. I don’t have quite the stamina to actually run around all night, though, so after a song or two Joe and I post up as usual, taking position on the perimeter of the pit to hold the line so we can be part of the action and help pick up fallen soldiers or address any other situations that we feel needs our attention. We noticed a couple of smaller pretty gals who were right behind us and made sure throughout the gig that they were protected from flying elbows, falling drunkards, and any other hazzards.
At one point, some jackasses thought it was cute that they’d do this retarded do-si-do thing where they would spin each other around in a circle and then go barrelling into the crowd, knocking violently into girls and such (innocent bystanders who clearly don’t want to be IN the pit). If you’re in the pit, you’re in. You wanna get rowdy and slam into people, that’s the place for it. You do NOT just randomly run over civilians like bowling pins. Joe and I didn’t take kindly to it, so when they tried it a few more times we’d see them flying our way and just reach out and clothesline them or grab them by the scruff and slam them back to the ground.
At one point, there was a full-blown BRAWL in back of me and I have no idea what it was about or who all was involved (it was unrelated, I think, to anything going on IN the pit). Arms were flailing all over the place and people were falling on top of each other. I saw a girl in the middle of it and thought she was a civilian taking a bit of collateral damage so I pulled her out of the pile of bodies. I don’t know for sure, but I think she was actually an instigator because she was a wild banshee and flailing about like a Tasmanian Devil. The security team broked everyone apart before we all died and that was it. I still don’t know what it was all about.
I also noticed a Facebook buddy near the pit, but I couldn’t remember his name. I just grabbed him and shouted, “Dude! I know you from the Internet!!!” He recognized me too and shouted, “Yeah!!!”
The old school superset was the best part of the actual concert. “NWO”, “Just One Fix” and “Thieves”. It was during “Thieves”, though, that shit got REALLY weird . . .
A kid who was slamming around in the pit suddenly stumbles out toward the back and just collapses on the floor, passing out. I slap his face and get his attention and he’s mumbling “Blah blah blah I HAVE STOMACH CANCER!!!”. I tell him to stay there and I’ll get help. So I cut through the crowd straight to the bar and tell the barkeep to give me a large water and to notify first aid/ security right away because there’s a kid losing consciousness who says he’s got cancer. I go straight back to where homeboy is and get him to drink some water and then pick his limp ass up to drag him out Private Ryan style. The security catches note of us and goes to open the side door that goes outside where I drop the kid on a couch and proceed to tell them what’s up. I tell them to get him attention right away as he’s all f***ed up and has cancer. They go to get some dude and I ask the kid what he’s taken. He tells me “Morphine, Dilaudin . . . uhhh, that was . . . uhhh, I don’t do that anymore for a few months . . . uhhh, just booze.” I told him I’m not a narc or anything, I just don’t want the dude to die, so don’t play any games. Boss man comes with clipboards and the kid is gaining a bit more clarity and they tell him, “You’re REFUSING medical attention, right?” Sure enough the kid refuses attention and signs like 12 pages of forms releasing HOB of any responsibility. He also, at this time, starts whining about a rip in his new leather trousers and then starts complaining about missing part of the show. I said, “Don’t worry about your pants or the show, Dude. Focus on more important shit . . . you know, like not being dead.” He says he wants to go back in and they all let him go . . . and he runs right back into the middle of the pit (“Khyber Pass” was starting at this time, so it’s not like anyone was getting rough or anything, but still . . . WTF???
I tell a few girls to get up front if they want to touch Al when he comes by so I help them get up on the rail. When Al passes by I get a nice solid handshake from the dude too. Pretty rad. Sin tries to throw a few picks at me but I can’t even see them. I let the rest of the rabble scurry for them. Show ends and we disperse to the outside. The girls that Joe and I had been protecting came right up to me and very graciously thanked me for my assistance. We chatted for quite a while and shared some more beers together. Turns out we know some of the same people from the Palm Springs area as well (I get around, haha). I wanted to gamble some more, but I was out of cash and too drunk to figure out how to activate my new ATM card. Joe took the pause in the action as an opportunity to force me back to the hotel room before I got any more retarded (I wish he was around to do that the second night).
Anyway, not a whole lot to say about the show itself. The band sounded absolutely perfect (better than the Anaheim stop, actually). No need to discuss the setlist. It’s always the same, but they really rocked so hard that I didn’t even really care. Al was in the best shape I’ve seen him in a LONG time. Sober and in great spirits (we all wondered earlier if the Blackhawks winning would help put things on a positive path). Well, I don’t know what the cause, but the show and Al were both incredible.
