Life Lessons The Movies Have Taught You

If you are a grizzled homicide detective and you are breaking in a new partner and it is your last day on the job before you retire to a little houseboat in some scenic lake district and spend the rest of your life fishing and relaxing with the woman you love - you really need to hurry and and get that funeral insurance you never bothered with and call all your loved ones and tell them how much you’re going to miss them…

^Props on the “last day before retirement”. I was gonna say something about the same.

Anyway . . . continuing on . . .

Super bad dude villain guys are typically quite proficient at skateboarding or rollerblading.

Never dress up like an old man golfer when there’s a psychotic conservative with firearms walking thru your golf course. Especially if you have a heart condition because you will die wearing that stupid little hat.

Don’t cross the beams.
It would be bad.

If you are building a Death Star, make sure you cover all the air vents leading to the main reactor shaft.

Or at least disguise them better.

[:|]

Remember! It’s not how far you go. It’s how GO you FAR!

Every band puts out at least one pussy song so they can find out who the faggots are. I’m sure there may be a few Blue Oyster Cult fans out there who agree…

Never throw away perfectly good white boys.

Beautiful women are always single

Never throw away perfectly good white boys.

Haha…that line was recycled in a few movies…

Strippers, escorts or sex workers of any kind ALWAYS have a “heart of gold,” and ALWAYS have a surprisingly complicated back story in which they ended up doing what they do as a last resort. Like the first ever female Navy SEAL ends up dancing at ‘The Admiral’ club after her deadbeat alcoholic husband leaves her to raise their child who has some sort of 1-in-10 million ailment that is impossible to cure.

Do not entertain the thought that other possibilities exist.

That guy who seems like a good guy because he’s doing good things and there when you need him . . . He’s not such a good guy. He’s a psycho and will murder everyone you love and he plans to tie you up and keep you as his bondage slave.

Never throw away perfectly good white boys.

Better Off Dead? “Two dollars! Two dollars!!!”

[reply]Never throw away perfectly good white boys.

Better Off Dead? “Two dollars! Two dollars!!!”[/reply]

Yeah, it was in “Better Off Dead” but I think Queer is right and it was recycled in a few others as well. “Men At Work”, maybe?

[reply][reply]Never throw away perfectly good white boys.

Better Off Dead? “Two dollars! Two dollars!!!”[/reply]

Yeah, it was in “Better Off Dead” but I think Queer is right and it was recycled in a few others as well. “Men At Work”, maybe?[/reply]

Ha, yeah, could be. I saw that when it came out on video many years ago and hadn’t seen it since. Saw it again a couple of years ago and it was still very funny, apart from the weird way they keep calling each other by their first names non-stop. I don’t know about anyone else, but i rarely use people’s names when i’m talking to them. I find that if you’re looking directly at someone, you’re talking to them and nobody else is present, they usually know you’re talking to them without calling them by name. In Men At Work it’s all “Great Chaaaaaarlesss. What are we gonna do now Chaaaaaarlesss?”.

No, you only occasionally use people’s names and that’s to get their attention, especially in a group. Even in a group, it’s hard to get people to use each others’ names. Hence why when you don’t know someone’s name and don’t want to ask it, it can be a rotten chess game trying to engineer some way for it to come out.