Hey guys,
Read in the ‘Girls’ thread about a fellow pronger who is going through a divorce and - rather than add to that beast of a thread - thought I’d share my experience with you all.
After slightly more than nine years of (for the most part) wedded bliss, the missus and I have decided to go our separate ways. The split is not ugly and we’re still talking - although sleeping in different rooms - but the marriage is over as of 30th of September. We’ve both seen solicitors to work out who gets what and when and so far that’s all gone well. Just glad in a way we never had kids because that would have been heartbreaking for all involved. Not sure I could have endured a Kramer Vs Kramer type scenario. Think I would have gone nuts.
Without going into massive amounts of personal detail, our marriage was what could best be described as a very ‘loose’ one - in that we came to a decision a long time ago that it would be acceptable for both of us to see other people on the side on occasion.
[shocked]
Yes, I am aware of how shocking that sounds to all and sundry, but it worked for us and we were happy. There were no orgy type situations but my wife is - how can I say this nicely - rather 'over sexed and it was a problem we had to deal with early in our marriage. I literally couldn’t accomodate her. It was either do something about it or go our seperate ways. So we sought counselling, joined a discussion group and found that our problem was not an uncommon one. We listened to what others had to say who had been through what we were then going through and found that seeing someone on the side - privately and discreetly- worked for other couples.
So we gave it a shot and things started to work out. We still had a great sex life (my wife, as I’ve mentioned before, is really into porno, which makes things kinda interesting) the only difference was that every other month or so she’d spend the night with a ‘friend’ or I’d ‘hook up’ with one of her gal pals. It was fun and we were both happy. But yes, I do appreciate how unconventional this sounds.
However, recently a few events have transpired which have put something of a spin on how we view each other and I have come to the realisation that the trust and the bond that we once shared has somewhat eroded and is continuing to erode rapidly. Things got nasty for a while. Not ‘War Of The Roses’ nasty, but the potential was there. Shit was done and shit was said and can’t ever be undone. My wife had gotten involved in some pretty heavy shenanigans and I no longer recognised the girl I married. So I put an end to it. And now it’s over.
It’s kinda left me feeling hollow and empty but I’ll pull through. Recently got retrenched from work and got the golden handshake and large payout, so money isn’t a prob just yet. And the in-laws have agreed to kick in and give us both some ‘inheritance money’ which they were going to give us on our 10 year anniversary, but now agree that we could use it now more than ever. As I said, we still talk and I think things are going to be ok and I honestly hope it all works out well for her. Gonna let the mental scars heal for a while and then head off in a some completely new direction and start afresh.
I wonder if this is what they call a ‘Mid Life Crisis’? Has it really come to this? How did I ever become such a cliche?!?!? Damn!
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