I Am Major Disappoint

Discussion
1

<sigh>

I wish I didn’t have to write this…

But there’s this little film coming out later in the year. You may have heard of it. It’s called Guardians Of The Galaxy and it’s some Marvel comic super hero thing set in space.

Now you know me, I’m hardly the biggest drooling fanboi when it comes to comic book films. In fact, truth be told I damn near can’t stand any of them except for the first Iron Man and The Avengers (which started out crap but improved vastly as the film progressed.

I’m more of an artsy snob when it comes to film.

But there was something about Guardians that early on, really had me hooked. A) it’s set in space - so the limitations as to what they could do with this thing are endless. B) I have read the graphic novels and it’s really a damn fine example of everything a comic book should be - check it out if you don’t believe me). And C) it’s features a badass cgi racoon who fires laser machine guns and generally fucks shit up.

When I saw the initial pre production artwork, I began to salivate:

[image]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF5mB0TB7OKKININemCOKpsIJsIIiwZPyBXtWVTP0bw4iGjUbz[/image]

It looked like everything I had wanted in a science fiction film. Vast. Epic. Dark and mysterious. Alien worlds filled with all manner of creatures and awe inspiring cities of glass and steel.

I was stoked and hadn’t felt this excited about a fantasy / space film since I was a kid.

Then yesterday, after months and months of anticipation I finally saw the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B16Bo47KS2g

And oh dear. It appears to be NOTHING liked how I’d imagine it would. Crass, cutesy X Men type dreck. Hamfisted dialogue, cruddy looking sets and embarrassingly awful costume designs. None of the awe or majesty or epic scale of what the concept art hinted at whatsoever.

And how TERRIBLE is that “line up” sequence?!?!? And whgat’s with the hokey 1980’s references?!!?

Granted, it’s only a two minute sequence but the tidings do not bode well. It’s beginning to look every bit as bad as the dismal flop that was John Carter - another film I waited years for, only to watch my hopes pissed away over the course of two and a half hours of drudgery.

Fuck.

3

Read my comments above more closely as to why I “expected” more from this.

[:|]

5

Peligro is bitching about something that looks fucking awesome? Stop the presses!

6

It just looked so promising. Artwork reminds me of that insane 70’s type sci fi art that rocked my world as a young kid…

[image]http://youbentmywookie.com/wookie/gallery/0413_marvel-phase-2/guardians-of-the-galaxy-concept-art-31.jpg[/image]

[image]http://images.contactmusic.com/images/feature-images/guardians-of-the-galaxy-table-concept-art-636-380.jpg[/image]

[image]http://i1.cdnds.net/13/14/618x346/movies-marvel-phase-two-preview-stills-14.jpg[/image]

7

Peligro is bitching about something that looks fucking awesome? Stop the presses!

<3 grmpysmrf likes this

8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B16Bo47KS2g

What’s with the campy guard uniforms? It looks like something out of Star Trek: Next Generation or whatever it was called, from mid 90’s tv. Actually come to think of it, remided me of that terrible 80’s movie Ice Pirates, which had an equally stupid comic attempt running through it.

I half expected Bad To the Bone or something equally as corny to start playing halfway through.

And the line up scene? That’s a whole new shade of awful right there.

Fuck Marvel films anyway.

9

When I saw the initial pre production artwork, I began to salivate:

[image]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF5mB0TB7OKKININemCOKpsIJsIIiwZPyBXtWVTP0bw4iGjUbz[/image]

What is that? A guy in a ZORB? Worst superhero ever.

10

They are Nova Corps.

The Nova Corps is a fictional intergalactic military/police force appearing in Marvel Comics. The concept was created by Marv Wolfman. The first member appeared in Nova #1 in September 1976. The Corps’ first appeared in a cameo in Fantastic Four #204 and had their 1st full appearance in Fantastic Four #205 in 1979.

they don’t look the coolest, but i didn’t mind it. almost any comic costume translates shittily into film. Lets also remember they were brought out, along with Rocket Raccoon, in the same era Marvel was riding high off Howard the Duck comics. The amount of cocaine that went into costume design then is immeasurable.

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I’m willing to bet that most comic book artists from the '70s were too nerdy to be into cocaine.

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They were probably more into sniffing panties than cocaine.

13

Then yesterday, after months and months of anticipation I finally saw the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B16Bo47KS2g

And oh dear. It appears to be NOTHING liked how I’d imagine it would. Crass, cutesy X Men type dreck. Hamfisted dialogue, cruddy looking sets and embarrassingly awful costume designs. None of the awe or majesty or epic scale of what the concept art hinted at whatsoever.

OMG fucking tits that trailer was horrid!

I can see how you would be kind of enthusiastic about this after seeing the pre production artwork for this. It’s how I want my sci fi to look also. However they totally missed the boat when bringing it to life.

Wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong…

And I almost gave up on life after seeing John Carter it was so pathetic.

Taylor Kitsch - a star in the making you certainly are not.