I’ve recently been thinking about what would constitute “hell” for me. The closest I can come at the moment would be an eternity spent in various “networking events”. I honestly can’t imagine anything worse at the moment.
Bad smiles, gladhanding your way through a bunch of bottom feeders, handing out business cards/cdrs/marketing packets/whatever the fuck. Everyone appearing interested in you but really they’re only interested in you being a “connection” for them. It’s like a shitstorm feedback loop.
Now, I’ve never speed dated before either, but it also sounds hideous. Perhaps the networking events could have occasional breaks for speed dating opportunities.
Actually that’s another thing, the word “opportunity” would be used in hell almost constantly.
What a great thread. This is a total thinker. I’d agree with your “networking & opportunity” scenarios but I don’t know if that is the worst for me.
good thread.
Late,
grmpysmrf
I like networking events and parties and anywhere with free food and booze. I’m a friggin’ social butterfly and I can work a room like nobody’s business . . . . As for my Hell . . .
I’m chained to an uncomfortable wicker chair in a room with loud speakers and a giant screen TV and I am forced to watch the movie “Funny People” on a loop, and the only intermissions are these videos . . . every 5 minutes.
Buried alive in a pine box coffin.
I watched an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents when I was young and it left a lasting impression. It was the episode where the prisoner crawls into a coffin with the next person to perish with the intent that the grave digger would dig him up. You guessed it; the grave digger was the dead person in the coffin with him.
Buried alive in a pine box coffin.
I watched an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents when I was young and it left a lasting impression. It was the episode where the prisoner crawls into a coffin with the next person to perish with the intent that the grave digger would dig him up. You guessed it; the grave digger was the dead person in the coffin with him.
Yeah,this actually is my hell also…I’m extremely claustrophobic and I can’t think of a worse scenario than being buried alive…I have nightmares about that shit…I remember watching Kill Bill Vol 2 in the theater and at the part where she was buried alive I had to leave the fucking theater…fuck that shit…
I like networking events and parties and anywhere with free food and booze. I’m a friggin’ social butterfly and I can work a room like nobody’s business . . .
The only beer in hell is O’Douls and there are no snacks.
I like networking events and parties and anywhere with free food and booze. I’m a friggin’ social butterfly and I can work a room like nobody’s business . . . . As for my Hell . . .
I’m chained to an uncomfortable wicker chair in a room with loud speakers and a giant screen TV and I am forced to watch the movie “Funny People” on a loop, and the only intermissions are these videos . . . every 5 minutes.
[reply]I like networking events and parties and anywhere with free food and booze. I’m a friggin’ social butterfly and I can work a room like nobody’s business . . .
The only beer in hell is O’Douls and there are no snacks.[/reply]
Networking is pretty gay alright. I don’t mind people congregating and getting something useful from it ( and it could be the case that something good has come from some networking here and there. But then again…) However if there is networkng explicitly organised for an event and whoever organises such an event talks about “networking opportunities” and basically try and force you to do it, that is a real hell. I hate the self-serving and disingenuous aspect of it but that’s not unique to networking events. I have a disability towards talking shite about stuff I don’t care about and trying to show off what I know but my intolerance of others doing it outweighs that disability.
Anyway back to hell. There’s so much I could throw in here but I guess it would definitely feature a large group of jock assholes drinking piss beer and wrecking whatever is around them as they shout out lines of shit songs I cannot stand, while the only girls are unattractive and sit around looking at glossy magazines and watching reality tv on a daily routine. I would be paralysed so cannot move away and the irritation continues day and night. In the few hours where the jock assholes stop shouting and I try to fall asleep, they all start snoring and I’m a light sleeper.
Don’t know if this is related to all of the India press, but I think Hell for me would be having to watch my wife be gang raped while I am unable to help her.
Late,
grmpysmrf
I think Hell for me would be having to watch my wife be gang raped while I am unable to help her.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Whoa! Buzz kill. I feel like we were all hanging out watching “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and then someone suddenly changed the disc to “A Serbian Film”.
[reply]
I think Hell for me would be having to watch my wife be gang raped while I am unable to help her.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Whoa! Buzz kill. I feel like we were all hanging out watching “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and then someone suddenly changed the disc to “A Serbian Film”.[/reply]
well the topic was hell. I didn’t think it was limited to superficial hell.
Late,
grmpysmrf
[reply]
I think Hell for me would be having to watch my wife be gang raped while I am unable to help her.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Whoa! Buzz kill. I feel like we were all hanging out watching “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and then someone suddenly changed the disc to “A Serbian Film”.[/reply]
Now that you mention it,watching “Serbian Film” again would defintitely qualify as some level of hell…