It’s the holiday season, for better or worse, and that probably translates to obligatory online gift shopping for some of us.
This means I’ve been spending lots of time on Amazon.com lately trying to track down items for gift requests. One of the things that always depresses me is the “frequently bought together” feature which shows you that, for example, people often buy a Nine Inch Nails ‘Downward Spiral’ CD when also buying a ‘Psalm 69’ CD.
I dislike the total predictability and laser precision of these “frequently bought together” choices. It makes for a very dull shopping experience, especially considering Amazon is a retailer for everything from grocery items to fragrances to high-ticket electronics.
So…come on people, what kind of “frequently bought together” combos would you REALLY like to see?
Nissin Top Ramen (25 count) + Burzum ‘Filosofem’ CD?
Waring Pro CC150 Cotton Candy Maker + The Gun Digest Book of Combat Handgunnery (2nd Edition?)
Those BMG/ Columbia House CD/ tape clubs back in the day used to drive me insane. You’d select “hard rock/ metal” as your “preferred style”. And then, along with the Slayer, Danzig, and Iron Maiden CD’s you ordered they would send you the “hard rock/ metal selection of the month” which would be . . . . . Richard Marx.
Shostakovich Symphonies 5 and 9 - compact disc
Think Fun Zingo - board game
Field Guide To North American Truffle Hunting by Matt Trape and Frank Evans
Hamilton Beach 46201 12 Cup Digital Coffee Maker
Anal Cunt - Everyone Should Be Killed compact disc
OptiSex Satin Love Doublestrap Blindfold mask
Presto 03510 Flipside Belgian Waffle Maker
Bundle 2
Adolf Hilter - Mein Kampf (My Struggle) - paperback
Paris Tour Eiffel French Macarons handmade with le Savoir faire Organic
Loretta Lynn - Heartwarming Gospel: 18 Greatest Hits
Gag Gifts: Instant Irish Accent breath spray
Dear Lover Women’s Striped Gothic Punk Overbust Corset
The Rutles - Meet the Rutles (2011 vinyl re-issue)
And then, along with the Slayer, Danzig, and Iron Maiden CD’s you ordered they would send you the “hard rock/ metal selection of the month” which would be . . . . . Richard Marx.
Shostakovich Symphonies 5 and 9 - compact disc
Think Fun Zingo - board game
Field Guide To North American Truffle Hunting by Matt Trape and Frank Evans
Hamilton Beach 46201 12 Cup Digital Coffee Maker
Anal Cunt - Everyone Should Be Killed compact disc
OptiSex Satin Love Doublestrap Blindfold mask
Presto 03510 Flipside Belgian Waffle Maker
Bundle 2
Adolf Hilter - Mein Kampf (My Struggle) - paperback
Paris Tour Eiffel French Macarons handmade with le Savoir faire Organic
Loretta Lynn - Heartwarming Gospel: 18 Greatest Hits
Gag Gifts: Instant Irish Accent breath spray
Dear Lover Women’s Striped Gothic Punk Overbust Corset
The Rutles - Meet the Rutles (2011 vinyl re-issue)
I think this all pretty much speaks for itself.
Have a merry christmas.
You bastards.
[:|]
I knew you would do well on this particular Prongs homework assignment. Take this shilling, lad, and go get yourself the plumpest Christmas goose that…um…that one shilling can buy! God bless us, every one!!!
since you’ve upped the ante with full-on gift bundles, I’ll try to respond with my own as soon as the pipe has been reloaded here.
For reasons I can’t explain, Pandora thinks I like Christmas music. Nothing could be more torturous than that. I mean I’d rather listen to the tornado siren going off inside my house, or gasp… listen to Get Up Get Out and Vote.
I can’t thumb down the stuff fast enough, but sure enough a little while later, some other Christmas tune comes on. It’s not just Christmas time when Pandora sees fit to torment me but it goes on all year round. Sigh…
I agree…nothing is more vile to me than xmas music…blech…
For reasons I can’t explain, Pandora thinks I like Christmas music. Nothing could be more torturous than that. I mean I’d rather listen to the tornado siren going off inside my house, or gasp… listen to Get Up Get Out and Vote.
I can’t thumb down the stuff fast enough, but sure enough a little while later, some other Christmas tune comes on. It’s not just Christmas time when Pandora sees fit to torment me but it goes on all year round. Sigh…
Last week, our local news station asked the question “Does listening to Christmas music while you shop make you happier and more generous?”
I posted my reply to their facebook page, and they included it on the news segment:
[reply]For reasons I can’t explain, Pandora thinks I like Christmas music. Nothing could be more torturous than that. I mean I’d rather listen to the tornado siren going off inside my house, or gasp… listen to Get Up Get Out and Vote.
I can’t thumb down the stuff fast enough, but sure enough a little while later, some other Christmas tune comes on. It’s not just Christmas time when Pandora sees fit to torment me but it goes on all year round. Sigh…
Last week, our local news station asked the question “Does listening to Christmas music while you shop make you happier and more generous?”
I posted my reply to their facebook page, and they included it on the news segment:
For reasons I can’t explain, Pandora thinks I like Christmas music. Nothing could be more torturous than that. I mean I’d rather listen to the tornado siren going off inside my house, or gasp… listen to Get Up Get Out and Vote.
I can’t thumb down the stuff fast enough, but sure enough a little while later, some other Christmas tune comes on. It’s not just Christmas time when Pandora sees fit to torment me but it goes on all year round. Sigh…
I should probably just start a new thread for this one, but…my “favorite” Christmas songs are the ones where it’s just a simple cookie-cutter pop song that has some mention of Christmas in it, almost tacked on as an afterthought. Like, the main narrative of the song is still some schmaltzy ‘you broke my heart’ crapola, though it takes place in a holiday ‘setting.’
I think it was WHAM! who really got the ball rolling with that insipid “This Christmas” song.
I have at least a couple other proposals for songs that would work well in this “kinda holiday-themed but not really” genre:
For non-traditional Christmas songs I also like Type O Negative’s “Red Water (Christmas Mourning),” The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York” and, of course, Spinal Tap’s “Christmas With The Devil”.
For non-traditional Christmas songs I also like Type O Negative’s “Red Water (Christmas Mourning),” The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York” and, of course, Spinal Tap’s “Christmas With The Devil”.
An honorable mention must also go out to Rev. Glen Armstrong’s [url https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grvZsPK6AU4]“Even Squeaky Fromme Loves Christmas”, easily my favorite of the true crime-related Christmas tunes.
An honorable mention must also go out to Rev. Glen Armstrong’s [url https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grvZsPK6AU4]“Even Squeaky Fromme Loves Christmas”, easily my favorite of the true crime-related Christmas tunes.
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