…But when I stood up for myself and got in his face he stopped.
I could see how a 6 foot, 95lb. twenty something kid with a Marilyn Manson tattoo could be very intimidating in jail… or very attractive. You lose your virginity in there big boy?
I’m guessin’ a possession charge???
Late,
grmpysmrf
king smurf. i think you nailed it.
king smurf. i think you nailed it.
damn you know know how to stroke a guys ego! [:)]
No offense to you there Void and besides I said, “ego.” and besides even further you are a new learner anyway! [;)]
Late,
grmpysmrf
my friends here, i have known mike judge, and i am no mike judge. but wtf.
non sequiters get the groove goin’.
where’d you go rykers island?
sorry to hear you went throuh that shit man…
I think it’s always fucked how if you have your drugs devided into portions, like you buy 2 dimes of weed, then it’s also considered intent to sell since it’s all now on your persons in one lump sum.
another marvel of the american legal system
My friend Eddie’s in jail right now, it sounds terrible. Hope at least your art grows from the experience Voidhead.
[reply]…But when I stood up for myself and got in his face he stopped.
I could see how a 6 foot, 95lb. twenty something kid with a Marilyn Manson tattoo could be very intimidating in jail… or very attractive. You lose your virginity in there big boy?
I’m guessin’ a possession charge???
Late,
grmpysmrf[/reply]
Oh really fuck off. What the fuck is your problem? Do you suddenly hate me so much?
I am 23 and 155 Ibs so scrawny yes but not downright skinny and I work out and am getting bigger. 2 years ago I was 145 Ibs.
At least I don’t look like an ugly alcoholic hick in a fucking hockey jersey. Honestly. You look like a roadie for Metallica dude.
For the others who were not assholes, no it wasn’t Rykers Island. It was something in Brooklyn, just a huge cluster of holding cells where people would either be sent to jail or released on bail after seeing the judge. Rykers is what would happen if I were actually sent to jail though which now looks like it definitely won’t happen.
Special Ed, tell more about your friend’s experience.
Didn’t you say you were bisexual though? At least you might get some prison action in there. Make sure to bring your old glory dildo to the arraignment that might earn you an extra year or two.
Seriously though, i feel for you man. I’ve spent a total of about 80 hours in jail for 3 different arrests. All jails suck, but I can’t imagine the okie jails having anything on Brooklyn. 30 days would suck bad.
p.s. Tell us the charge. Quit teasing us and spill it.
p.s. Tell us the charge. Quit teasing us and spill it.
The charge is 3rd degree assault and possession of mary jane.
I had been trying to kick my girlfriend out for 3 weeks from our apartment and she wouldn’t leave. We fought like hell on Saturday she was screaming and breaking shit.
I decided to go out for a night on the town to avoid her. Came back at like 6am drunk as hell trying to pass out. She woke up and started the screaming again, then hitting me.
I reacted in self-defense and barely touched her, just to get her away from me (the bitch is 300 Ibs—you know how I like 'em—so fuck me if this isn’t sexism of the highest order that she is considered the “victim” when my face is 10x more fucked than hers!) and she apparently called the cops. Meanwhile I passed out and when I woke up they were standing over me.
So while I was locked up she had someone come down from Syracuse and took all her shit out of the apartment. My dad showed up to see what was what and she basically laid it out that she is blackmailing us: she will only drop the charges if we pay her half of the rent for the rest of the year. Meanwhile I never pressed charges against her (should have—the cop even asked if I wanted to) because I would never put anyone I once loved in that situation.
So bottom line looks like the lease is going to be remade in my name and she will not press the charges. So I’ll be totally rent poor until I find a roommate or something but at least she is finally gone from my life…
Does anyone want to live with me?!?
Oh really fuck off. What the fuck is your problem? Do you suddenly hate me so much?
Who said I hate you? I don’t hate you… What? You can come on here and bust everybodies balls about Al and politics and then somebody comes in and busts your balls back about something different and suddenly your sensitive? C’mon brother, You know I’m equal oppurtunity ball busting!
I am 23 and 155 Ibs so scrawny yes but not downright skinny and I work out and am getting bigger. 2 years ago I was 145 Ibs.
Perhaps you should do a Milk commercial! Drink More Milk you’ll gain 10 pounds in 2 years. “I’m drinking Milk for good!”
At least I don’t look like an ugly alcoholic hick in a fucking hockey jersey. Honestly. You look like a roadie for Metallica dude.
Stupid me Wearing A hockey Jersey at a Hockey game! go figure! So what if it takes me looking like a hick and alcoholic to be ugly. You’re ugly all by yourself!! AND you got your ass beat by a fat bitch, which probably makes you even uglier! HA bet those dudes in prison would love that story. Hell, you should’ve said you got that beating in prison rather than to big bertha beating your ass!
Did you get it all out, are we done now?
Late,
grmpysmrf
The fact that a violent and screaming 300LB fat chick is the epicentre of voidhead’s problems has provided me with infinite LOL’s for the day, if not week.
Thankyou, kind sir.
Must say, we’ve had our differences thus far, but at least you were ballsy enough to leave us privy to your daily dramas.
Seriously. Epic thread. Epic fucking thread.
C’mon brother, You know I’m equal oppurtunity ball busting!
Alright fair enough. You can’t blame me for being on edge right now. I mean really…
But we are all good.
And yes Evil Dildo this is an epic thread. Maybe we understand eachother as well now.
By the way while I was in jail your fucking “Silver Hammer” song was running through my head. No joke. I like that song…
I had been trying to kick my girlfriend out for 3 weeks from our apartment and she wouldn’t leave. We fought like hell on Saturday she was screaming and breaking shit.
Woman (noun): nature’s punching bag.
I decided to go out for a night on the town to avoid her. Came back at like 6am drunk as hell trying to pass out. She woke up and started the screaming again, then hitting me.
You should have handed her a tampon and said ‘Here - this’ll fix what ails ya!’.
Then you should have prank called her family telling them that you were a cop and that their daughter was dead and that they had to come down to the morgue to identify the body.
I reacted in self-defense and barely touched her, just to get her away from me (the bitch is 300 Ibs—you know how I like 'em—so fuck me if this isn’t sexism of the highest order that she is considered the “victim” when my face is 10x more fucked than hers!) and she apparently called the cops. Meanwhile I passed out and when I woke up they were standing over me.
You should have offered them something out of your kiddy porn collection - they would have let you off. I know cops and they love that shit. They also like it when you make jokes about rape.
Then you should have prank called her grandparents and told them that you were a doctor and that you needed to get in touch with their grand daughter urgently as the results of her HIV test had come back and it was positive.
Does anyone want to live with me?!?
I will. If you don’t mind living with somebody on the sex offender’s registry that is.
By the way while I was in jail your fucking “Silver Hammer” song was running through my head. No joke. I like that song…
Thanks a lot. [:)] It’s a Beatles cover in case ya didn’t know. I was asked to do it, otherwise I never would’ve due to my distaste for Paul McCartney. I mean, Lennon was spot on when he said all McCartney could do was write ‘grandmother rhythms and melodies’… not a fan. But I will admit he did do a lot of good things, so I certainly ain’t shuttin him down completely.
Woman (noun): nature’s punching bag.
You should have handed her a tampon and said ‘Here - this’ll fix what ails ya!’.
Then you should have prank called her family telling them that you were a cop and that their daughter was dead and that they had to come down to the morgue to identify the body.
Then you should have prank called her grandparents and told them that you were a doctor and that you needed to get in touch with their grand daughter urgently as the results of her HIV test had come back and it was positive.
LOL-A-RAMA at all of this. Seriously, since when the fuck did Seth Putnam start writing on this board?
Voidhead…
seriously… my only advice with this little ‘issue’ is… ‘deleting’ her from life. Sucks majorly. Did you get any naked/embarassing pics of her? Next NHB album should just be a ‘tribute’ to her existence with said pics as artwork. C’mon, you must have some. I know you do. I BELLLIIIEEEVEEEE INNN YOOOOUUUU… [;)]
Alright fair enough. You can’t blame me for being on edge right now. I mean really…
no, no, probably not the best time to bust yer balls, but it was funny though![:)] BTW the shit talking on Pnon’s thread is just that, Shit talking. I got no beef with you. you kinda remind me of the youngin in the group that gets picked on for no other reason than your young! It’s all good though! Also let me stroke yer ego s’more for all the shit people talk about yer band on hear, Me included, not very many people offer anything up on their own. So big ups to you for being brave enough to take a chance… I’ll probably never post any of my shit in here I’m too George McFly from the 50’s to do that!
The fact that a violent and screaming 300LB fat chick is the epicentre of voidhead’s problems has provided me with infinite LOL’s for the day, if not week.
When you put it like that, it is pretty damn funny! You know Void had to be drunk if he didn’t hear a 300lb chick sneak up on him. You know she’s gotta sound like a waterbed sloshing around everytime she moves!!
[reply]I had been trying to kick my girlfriend out for 3 weeks from our apartment and she wouldn’t leave. We fought like hell on Saturday she was screaming and breaking shit.
Woman (noun): nature’s punching bag. [/reply]
C’Mon Peligro, there’s gotta be a better “fat bitch” joke here than that? How about, "I’ve been trying to kick my girlfriend out for three weeks but I’ve only managed to get part of her thigh out the door? Or My friends’ trucks have been broken down… Or we ran out of butter cause the bitch keeps licking it off the door jam before we can shove her out!.. … …
Late,
grmpysmrf
You should have handed her a tampon and said ‘Here - this’ll fix what ails ya!’.
[laugh]
Then you should have prank called her family telling them that you were a cop and that their daughter was dead and that they had to come down to the morgue to identify the body.
My ex-flatmate did that to some guy’s parents - and had the shit kicked out of him for doing so. It was not funny.
You should have offered them something out of your kiddy porn collection - they would have let you off. I know cops and they love that shit.
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard about some teacher or some cop gettin’ busted with da kiddywink pics…I’d have enough to buy me a shiny pair of new shoes!
Seriously, it’s usually a cop or a teacher or some IT guy isn’t it?!?!?!? Probably cos they can’t find someone their own age who doesn’t think they’re slimy.
Peligro had me falling out of my chair. All you’z guyz are some funny fucks.
cheers & beers
Voidhead, in your quest for the perfect bbw be wary of the Mancubus.
