GWAR
p.s kudos to evil dildo for meeting Stephen O’Malley, you bastard I am jealous.
p.p.s Is that the best you could do?!? Vomiting and getting into a fight stories? That’s required behaviour at a gig, dammit!! Oh dildo, you need a good talking to…
O’Malley’s a good bloke, have met him twice when he’s been both sober and straight. It was really mindless banter, nothing to do with music… moreso stirring him up, joking around… he has a damn good memory, recognised me months after I first met him and even welcomed us to come ‘party’ with him afterwards. Declined on account of not wanting to be a fanboy douche or whatever… plus he was drunk, so it could’ve been awkward.
With regards to P.P.S: give a good talking to whenever. Shall be at the Ambarchi/SkitzSanders show next Wednesday.
If it was PCP, he’s fuckin’ lucky that what he described was all that happened to him: people have been known to commit suicide and/or murder.
Or this… I recommend everyone read this shit (very brief): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phencyclidine#Horror_stories
Straight men now honestly, would you rather receive oral from one of those Bangkok trannies or fuck some fat nasty trailer skank? I know what I would choose, and I’m confident enoug in my masculinity to know that wouldn’t make me gay.
I’m confident enough to say: AUTO-FELLATIO, ALL THE WAY, BABY
I would hate for my delicate perriwinkle to be tainted by the uncleanliness of a woman’s mouth.
[laugh]
@ Evil D: How did you keep the vomit down when the ex started grooving to Cannibal Corpse? I would have let rip, projectile style.
My biggest regret is not accepting her offer to go back to her place and proceeding with the angriest root Maxxx Hardcore wished he did.
I didn’t ‘catch’ anything, no one got hurt and no laws were broken. Her ‘surprise package’ just made the night that little bit more unforgettable, in my books.
Did you fuck the tranny up the arse, just curious?
Like, that’s not anything to be ashamed off, just curious… how did you negotiate sans vagin?
And getting back to the original post topic, one of my weirdest and most memorable concert experiences was drinking and chatting with Drew Barrymore at a Sepultura gig in LA in '93.
Tell us more about this, I’m really curious! That chick did always seem cool.
Peligro, you opened up a can of worms… tranny worms.
Trust mick to make the best comment made on this thread so far… [laugh][laugh][laugh]
I guess my weirdest story has to do with being drunk at an Anathema concert. I somehow managed to convince a bouncer that I’m a roadie although I have no idea how I did it, just don’t remember! Then, I went backstage and went straight for the band’s fridge. There was vodka in it and I took it without asking. At least I made shots for the band…
They must have thought I was some sort of terrible asshole hahaha.
GWAR
Awe. Was once enough or have you seen them multiple times?
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GWAR
Awe. Was once enough or have you seen them multiple times?[/reply]
Three times, but once should have been enough. The second time I went to see Chemlab open and the third was at a metal festival with lamb of god, unearth, opeth, syl, norma jean, throwdown, high on fire…
Did you fuck the tranny up the arse, just curious?
Like, that’s not anything to be ashamed off, just curious…?
Oh yeah.
Let your curiosity now be appeased.
Tell us more about this, I’m really curious! That chick did always seem cool.
She was ok. I got the impression she had no idea who Sepultura were tho’. Kept changing the subject whenever I mentioned them. She was also wearing a skimpy singlet thingy and I kept perving at her tits everytime she bent over - which was often.
To be honest she ain’t that good looking in the flesh. She’s very short and stumpy and incredibly pale. I guess if she wasn’t famous you wouldn’t look at her twice.
And yeah, congrats on meeting O’Malley. I would’ve done the fanboy thing and asked him to sign all my Sunn O))) and KTL rekkids (which number around 20 or so!!!). I once met HR Giger and I was a complete gibbering fanboy.
I am the king of shit eating grins
you’re a good lookin’ cat dildo!
wouldn’t expect you to listen to the music you listen to or hold the opinions you do!
But that’s only because I stereotype pretty people
Late,
grmpysmrf!
Dildo, you look like you’d be more at home on the set of Neighbours than standing in the shadow of Evil (not to mention short) O’Malley.
As soon as I meet you I’m going to have you shine my shoes!
p.s you also look like my friend Nick from my art school days…
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GWAR
Awe. Was once enough or have you seen them multiple times?[/reply]
Three times, but once should have been enough. The second time I went to see Chemlab open and the third was at a metal festival with lamb of god, unearth, opeth, syl, norma jean, throwdown, high on fire…[/reply]
First time I saw GWAR was in 1986. They actually didn’t play a show that time but were showing one of their short films at a convention, and came in costume. I had forgotten the name of the band until around 1990 or so when Scumdogs of the Universe came out with some production by Luxa/Pan. That was the high point in their sound I think everything after that is okay.
Seen them maybe 4 or 5 times over the years always very entertaining, but they are not a band I listen to very much aside from the first 2 albums. I do have the Hell-O LP on Shimmy Disc signed by all of them.
Below is a polaroid of Sleazy P. Martini and I dressed as Balsac The Jaws of Death [shocked]
Chemmeat, that is a fucking EPIC photo. WIN. WIN. WIN. WIN. WIN. WIN [:)][:)][:)][:)][:)][:)][:)]
Grmpysmrf, you make me blush [blush]
Peligro, O’Malley wasn’t that short. About an inch shorter than me, if not the same… I guess my friend emasculates both of us coz he’s a black metal beanpole.
And yeah, my shoes are looking a little dirty, much appreciated.
If I do end up seeing you at Horse Bazaar, I will actually buy you a drink if you recognise me from that photo… you will know why if you see me.
This isn’t so much weird as it is just fucked up. It was moreso a violent experience. I went to see Swedish black metal band, Marduk. The gig was good… the pit was surprisingly civil… except for one nutcase. He seriously had this demented look in his eyes. There was something wrong. He resembled Hagrid, from Harry Potter, also. Anyway, if anyone so much as tapped him, he’d demolish the said ‘offender’. One unwitting tryhard, this big gangly geek I’ll refer to as ‘big bird’, runs straight into him. Hagrid pretty much just destroyed him. I’d had enough of this shit, and was in a pretty foul mood myself, so I decided to line Hagrid up. As I did so, we ended up bracing each other with our hands to each other’s throats. He wasn’t counting on picking someone who could match him. All his pals jumped in, and all my pals jumped in, and it was on. I ended up with a nasty cut to my nose, and some guy needed an ambulance called after coughing up blood from a punch to the throat. With the ambulance came the police, who were waiting outside and trying to suss out what was going on. As far as brawls go, it was pretty full on and all in. I’m pleased the cops turned up though, because one of my idiot ‘mates’ (whom I don’t really see any more) was carrying a knife… BRILLIANT. [mad] But, having gotten to know him better, that shit is all for show and I doubt he’d have used it… but you never know. Stupid.
[laugh][laugh][laugh]
Cinematically delicious. Mmm-mmm.
Speaking of trannies, a friend of mine’s tranny friend is coming down in a few… and simply because of this thread, I’m inspired to do things. Sexy things.
TRANNY WORMS.
nicely dastardly.
johnny cash at the cubby bear lounge in chicago, and my first time ever with freebie jello shots. 1991?
that’s a standout.
Dildo, you look like you’d be more at home on the set of Neighbours than standing in the shadow of Evil (not to mention short) O’Malley.
I just can’t believe Deeedge is dead!
I’m a male, trust me this is relevant lol. I was at a Queensryche concert several years ago at an old nightclub. I didn’t know much of the band and I was there with my friends that were big fans. As the night and the concert went on, the pit was starting to get more and more crowded. I ended up subconsciously getting bumped all the way towards the back end of the pit near a wall. It couldn’t have been worse timing also because I really had to pee also.
I was stuck against the wall and there was a lady with silky straight long black hair dancing right in front of me. She kept getting bumped closer to where I was to a point where I was trapped between her and the wall. She looked back towards me apologizing for blocking my view. She was definitely taller than I was and it was tough to see from where I was.
She was continuing to dance in front of me and her straight long silky black hair kept brushing against my face and my arms as I kept trying to free space in between me, her and the wall. She looked back at me again stuggling and she asked me if I wanted a better view. I responded “yeah that would be nice hahaha” laughing as I said it. This is where she did the unthinkable.
She told me to spread my legs, then bends down directly in front of me, pulls my right leg over her right shoulder, pulls my left leg over her left shoulder, then stands up and I’m sitting on her shoulders no problem. I felt very strange because I’m a guy sitting a random lady’s shoulders at a concert AND I still have to pee. I told her that I don’t know if this is a great idea as I’m already sitting on her shoulders and she told me that she didn’t mind and just enjoy it.
A few songs came on and off she goes dancing again, this time with me on her shoulders. Not only I was holding on for dear life, I was holding it in as best I could. She was bouncing me up and down, shaking her head to the beat of the song and I felt completely helpless. It got to a point where I was having a hard time holding it in and I started slowly peeing in my pants while I was still sitting on her shoulders.
As soon as she got tired, she patted one of my legs to let me know that she was putting me down. I said thank you for the ride and that was fun, she goes no problem. I beelined it for the exit because of the embarrassment and she didn’t notice or didn’t want to be rude about me having an accident. I stayed in the car for the rest of the show until my friends were ready to leave too.
So bad and embarrassing
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“Tits of Fury”
My friend Rob and his wife had gone with me to see Metallica at the LA Forum in 2007. We had floor tickets, and after suffering through Machine Head’s set it was time to rock. Rob and I were up near the front, maybe 15-20 feet from the stage and as soon as Metallica started, this one spazzy dark-haired broad starts throwing herself into everyone and flailing around like a friggin’ lunatic, smashing into everyone and throwing her fists to and fro. It wasn’t anything resembling moshing. It was more like an epileptic fit and she was annoying EVERYONE. This was not a pit (we’d actually been warned by security all over that we’d be kicked out for moshing, and we were okay with that). At first we just kind of pushed her off us and told her to calm down, which she, of course, ignored defiantly. To make things more awkward, she had some giant cans (yes, pretty nice ones, let’s just move on, though, fellas) busting out of her low-cut corset or whatever. All us dudes felt like, “AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Stop it! You’re ruining tits for us! This is not good!” She was NOT mellowing out or getting a clue so I held her by the shoulders so I could address her to her face and shouted, “You MUST calm down!!!”, to which she responded, “FUCK YOU!!! And punched me in the face and directly returned to flopping around like a blue-fin tuna and throwing random punches like a one of those Notre Dame Fighting Irish puppets.
I had had enough, and I knew everyone else did too. So I grabbed her by her torso, spun her back out of our area and pushed her out of the way until she was about 12-15 feet behind us all. I figured that would be it and she’d go be a nuisance somewhere else. But she turned around to face me dead on from 12 feet away, and looked like a raging bull with death in her eyes. She squared off and then immediately set to charge me like some giant-bosomed battering ram or something. I put up my hands to block the coming onslaught and caught her shoulders again as she connected. I shoved her full force again, thinking it would just deflect her back again, but she was off balance and I ended up dropping her flat backwards like a pancake. Her head hit the concrete and there was a terrible audible thud that could be heard despite the band playing. And she lay there, sprawled as a face-up spread eagle unconscious for a moment. I looked in horror and my mind raced as I had no idea what may be in store for me next. In general, KO’ing a lady isn’t the best way to make friends in a crowd and I wondered if I would have to fight 100 pissed off spectators. There was an awkward pause. And then a great cheer from everyone around me. “FUCK YEAH, DUDE!!! “ and “That was AWESOME!!!” I was getting slapped on the back and people were congratulating me on my conquest. And then they all started waving me up to the front as they opened up a clear path in the tight crowd. It was like the Red Seas parting for Moses and everyone gave me a hero’s welcome as I walked, unobstructed, right up to the rail to finish the night with a bunch of crazy metalheads getting their faces melted by Metallica instead of punched by a pair of tits with fists.
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Not copying the critical parts (people should read it, it’s a great one) but damn, Departed, that is a great story! Even without the bonus payout, the image of her putting you on her shoulders is so fucking hilarious.
At a 2015 Ministry show (Grumpy, Acid Cripple, and some others were with us) my friend Jenny was with us and when the the show started, she climbed on my back and onto my shoulders. I don’t think I’d ever had anyone on my shoulders over the age of 4, and I wasn’t expecting it anyway. The crowd was surging and I used to wear some slick-bottom boots with no traction so . . . . well, yeah, I just fell backwards like a goddamned chopped Sequoia tree. Timber! Jenny dropped onto the concrete too, of course, but just jumped right back up and got in the pit while I momentarily asked myself what the fuck was even happening.
Yeah, she tried to jump on my back that night too. Was a fun show.
2015 - Danzig @ Fox Theatre Pomona
I’m farting around in the pit and having fun a bunch of other rowdies when suddenly we realize there is a dude on his belly doing “THE WORM” (aka “kickworm” from the Breakin’ days). He proceeds to worm his way around the pit a couple laps while a few other dudes and me make sure to block for him so he can continue without getting stepped on. Fucking amazing!