it... it... it's...a--al-alive

Discussion
26

Inasmuch as I agree with everyone that we could’ve perhaps done something a little more subversive, my one true regret lies with what Mick pointed out- I blew a perfectly good opportunity to flop out my winkle before not just Dannii Minogue, but the entire audience.

Better yet, from the stage, I could actually make out an ex-girlfriend from years ago- and she was staring right back at me with an expression that basically said she knew it was me, but wasn’t 100% sure. Which surprised me, given she was one of the few I’d never worn a skirt in front of.

But I digress…

LordPiko was on the money when he said it was just an opportunity for her to show off her sculptures. The whole time we were ‘rehearsing’, I was thinking to myself that this was going to go down like a lead balloon. I mean, it is what it is- an alien resurrection. That’s it.

And that’s fine for us and working within the confines of a 10 minute nightclub act, but how that would fare on live television? Well…

we didn’t care. I just went along with it and we sort of just fascinated with what went on with one of these shows backstage. I’ve never been anywhere near a TV studio, so it seemed like a good opportunity for a bit of fun. Like Gunnar said, I knew we’d be the sacrificial lambs, so that’s why I was a bit surprised when Kyle actually wanted it to go through… [:/] I’d had my fun and I just wanted to get it done with and be out of there!

I’m sort of glad we just left it at that. It left everyone confused. Yeah, we could’ve done something offensive, or bawdy, or a ‘big middle finger to the establishment’… but, it’s all been done before. When I think about it, there’s very little that is considered transgressive today (by the mainstream) that leaves much to the imagination. We made people wonder what the hell they’d just seen was going on about, and we were even so kind as to answer them- it was an alien ressurrection

Speaking of big middle fingers… that reminds me of the GG Allin tribute… boy oh boy was that a situation and a half…

27

If you’d whipped it out they would never have put the bit on TV.

What might’ve been better is if the girl had acted deadly, deadly serious when questioned by the panel.

28

haha judges were dick bags.

I liked it

29

I like when Dildo cries into his hands after being rejected.

30

The part that cracked me up the most was the lone audience member banging his head during the performance while everyone else looked borderline offended. They must not like dada.

31

I like when Dildo cries into his hands after being rejected.

IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY WOMAN THAT…

[:(]

But I digress.

I found all the stuff I’d saved from the GG Allin tribute fiasco.

I’d heard there was a GG Allin tribute going on up in Sydney last year, and wanted to try bring that down to Melbourne. I got in touch with the bassist, and he agreed to bring the band down for a gig on Good Friday.

Down the track, the drummer broke his ankle, and I put my hand up to fill in to make the show happen. We started promoting the show as ‘Easter Mass II’ with nothing more than a facebook group, about 20 flyers up at different record stores and tattoo shops and weren’t expecting more than 50-odd people to turn up.

Then, this article was brought to my attention.
http://northcote-leader.whereilive.com.au/lifestyle/story/rock-to-mock-the-flock/

Even though it was just a local paper, it was the one where a few of my relatives lived and they knew about my penchant for all things GG. Still, it was pretty funny. I mean. Just look at him with crucifix… cute.

We were getting heaps of complaint emails at this point, but both us and the venue still found it pretty entertaining. Then it was drawn to my attention that we’d cracked newspapers nationwide later that weekend, and we were featured on the news!

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/easter-gig-in-sin-bin/story-fn7x8me2-1226032608226

http://www.couriermail.com.au/ipad/easter-gig-in-sin-bin/story-fn6ck4a4-1226032869496

http://media.theage.com.au/national/selections/antichristian-concert-may-be-banned-2277731.html?from=newsbox

I found it staggering that the Premeir of the state had found time to speak out against such a birdbrained stunt.

Yeah, we did book it on Good Friday, but funnily enough, it wasn’t really focussed on being anti-Christian or whatever. The Good Friday link came in with the fact GG’s birth name, if you didn’t know, was JESUS CHRIST! Named as such by a religious zealot for a father! We pretty much made no mention of mocking the church, let alone did we have any of the ‘blasphemous’ imagery we were being accused of using.

But after the drama had reached this level, shit began to get real.

The Premier’s office had contacted the venue and basically told them to can the gig, or their Liquor License would be under review. Without a Liquor License, they would be unable to trade. They were being threatened on the basis of hosting a gig with ‘offensive imagery’ and ‘religious vilification’. Even though the Liquor License Act makes no mention of such conditions. So, basically they were twisting and breaking their own laws to make threats that wouldn’t stand up in court. But the reality, the venue was pretty small and would have no financial means of fighting such an issue in court.

Still, at this point, the venue wouldn’t budge. They knew it was bullshit as much as we did. But the threats escalated on the part of some Christian zealots, and unfortunately, everyone associated with the gig, no matter how loosely, started to cop a bit of abuse, and threats.

The pressure got even more intense…

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-morning-show/video/-/watch/24786890/anti-christian-concert-controversy/

I love how they’re trying to kid themselves into thinking it’s a hoax by saying ‘who would do such a thing, who would organise it?’. Yeah, keep telling yourselves that.

But, at this point, friends and family, anyone loosely associated, started to cop the brunt of the abuse and the decision was made to can the gig… even though we did get some support from the unlikeliest of corners…

http://northcote-leader.whereilive.com.au/lifestyle/story/church-rocks-on/

http://preston-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/mass-show-canned/

…

So they thought.

We announced the gig as being off, but sent messages to everyone who’d announced on Facebook that they were attending, via phone and internet, that the gig WAS still happening, at a different venue. We announced the location 24 hours prior to the start time, and we did it anyway with the blessing of everyone that got dragged into it. They wanted to see those arsehole Christians and politicians shown up for the failures they really were.

So, we did the gig, but there’s a catch- NO FUCKING GUITARIST. Get this- the junkie fucking turns up at literally the last minute, after having gotten a flight down from Sydney. What does he do when he shows up? He spends all his time slashing ‘SATAN WORSHIPS ME’ into his chest, and doesn’t bother to notice he has a busted string on his guitar. At that point, he realises he doesn’t have an allen key to change it, and rather than just play anyway, or just use someone elses, he just comes on stage and occasionally screams into the mic and tries to pretend to fix his guitar while we play.

So at the end of the night, the bassist goes ‘alright, everyone, here’s the moment you’ve al been waiting for- I wanna pay tribute to our friend Leif here- Leif, take a bow’.

And he did just that.

And as he did, our bassist beat the living shit out of him and I sunk the boots in a few times as well.

We got some footage of the gig, but unfortunately, all the best bits were missed out on- mainly coz my friend filming it was too busy running away. We did get the entire thing filmed, but I’m still trying to hunt that down!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdrpYrnLhH4

We sent it to a bunch of media outlets, emailed the Premier’s office with it and all the Christians, and none of them responded, published it, etc. [laugh]

32

HAHAHA!!! Great story, Dude!

I love how the one article just uses a random photo of Robert Trujillo (Metallica) playing bass.

Oh, and this quote is golden . . .

“About the only thing we can do is mobilise enough people to stand there outside the door and embarrass the people who want to go,” Pastor Smith said.

I’m not really sure if the people that are going to such an event would really get shamed into turning back.

Dammit. The wife’s home. I’ll check your video later.

33

We did get the entire thing filmed, but I’m still trying to hunt that down!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdrpYrnLhH4

We sent it to a bunch of media outlets, emailed the Premier’s office with it and all the Christians, and none of them responded, published it, etc. [laugh]

The government tried to shut down that?!?

Looked for all the world like some crusty punk gig, with some drunk guys jumping up and down.

I’ve been to more intense ballet recitals.

A mate of mine from Northcote went to this gig - said it was ‘‘dross’’.

Interesting.

34

The singer sucks (with his stupid hat he reminds me of the Spin Doctors). I actually liked the dirtbag that jumped on stage better than the regular singer.

I think the mundaneness of it is what makes the whole story so awesome though, Olsen. Someone caught wind of a tiny gig that shouldn’t even have been a blip on the radar and because they all freaked out and made it out to be something much bigger than it was, Dildo and his homies got way more mileage out of it than if they’d just ignored it . . .

I’m not impressed by the so-called tribute, but it’s still an excellent story.

35

I think the mundaneness of it is what makes the whole story so awesome though, Olsen. Someone caught wind of a tiny gig that shouldn’t even have been a blip on the radar and because they all freaked out and made it out to be something much bigger than it was,

My point too.

I’m not flaming Dildo, in fact I’m agreeing with him. The government made a big fuss of what eventually turned out to be nothing more than a storm in a teacup. I mean, it was NOTHING.

Gigs of that intensity happen every week here in Melbourne.

36

I had the volume turned down really low. Is there a guitar playing too, or is the bass just super fuzzed out?

I like how the dude gets naked and then he disappears into the crowd and comes back . . . wearing pants. Then the pants come off again and BOOM . . . black undies. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

37

Pastor Smith (pictured) said he and other clergy would meet to discuss ways of protesting against the event

Yeah right, even the clergy wanted to go. “protesting” was their ticket in!!

and I could see why the clergy wanted to go, too. It looked like a total sausage party!! (was there a “no grils allowed” sign at the door? (yes, i wrote “grils”)) one dude even had his sausage out!

Maybe they knew that singer would have his dong out. (surprised this hasn’t been taken off youtube for violation 'n shit.)

either way, gr8 story evil!
Late,
grmpysmrf

38

That was an interesting story, Evil.

I’ve not interest in GG Allin but the milieu in which that gig unfolded is worth commenting on. Firstly what a dipshit that church guy was from Melbourne; he wants to ban all entertainment on Good Friday? He’s been successful in banning football games in the past? This guy needs to be taken off his pedestal of morals with a flying kick to the head. This is a major problem with some church types; they think they can impose their way on everyone. Not being allowed to sell & eat meat and alcohol is a joke (albeit a fairly innocuous one, but still. It also doesn’t stop people doing drinking, most people just stock up the night before.) It’s a fundamental insecurity they have when they would opt to picket the gig instead of going to a church and babbling to a zombie who isn’t listening to them. If they have strength in their conviction they wouldn’t care about gigs like this. The other minister who didn’t mind the gig and thought it was humourous is an example of what church types could be like if they were sound. Basically the gig was none of their business.

And the gov. getting involved, what a disgrace! Maybe the GG Allin crew can swing by that premier’s house and fire off a few flying turds. This sort of conservatism is so disheartening and disappointing. These assholes are old and their lives are spent so they have to piss on others parades or gigs that feature urinating and defacation. That’s a lot of bodily fluids, you sure this didn’t happen in Germany?

39

Gunnar, the bassist was filthy on the Robert Trujillo pic, but didn’t deem it as bothersome as my constant referring of him to Chi from the deftones. We had to just use a fuzzed out bass, because as I wrote, the fuckwit we had on guitar didn’t play and was only good for getting the shit beaten out of him after the gig. Grmpysmrf, it was a sausage fest like no other, but the few girls that went were the ones who complained most loudly that there was no shitting onstage. [shocked]

Totally agree with you all- dross truly is a good way of describing it, in every sense of the work. It was nowhere near what the media was putting it out to be. We hardly promoted it from the get go, and did it on Good Friday purely because of the ‘Jesus Christ’ reference.

I’m still trying to get my hands on the footage of the entire gig- that was all my friend could catch because he was running away most of the time. The singer ended up pissing on one dude, there were little spot fire fights here and there, I had to throw one dude off stage at one point, from which he got the shit beaten out of him with a mic stand, another friend was telling me how a drumstick the singer had just shoved up his arse missed his head by an inch once it was thrown out to the audience, glasses and bottles were going everywhere and the singer’s chest was pretty much slashed to ribbons by the end of it. Everyone was pretty much in all beating the shit out of him.

But really… it could’ve been a lot worse, and compared to what GG Allin did, it was tame. Compared to a lot of bands out there, it was tame anyway. I’m not in disagreeance with Olsen at all, given that sort of energy is pretty much just standard fare at a lot of crust gigs anyway. It was no big deal. No riots, no shitting onstage, no desecrating ‘religious figures’, nothing. Big deal.

Anyway, the whole government thing wasn’t really a surprise looking back. Newly elected government tries to assert it’s authority, picks on some mindless shit as a means of scoring the political points it needs to appear as though it’s ‘doing something’.

I’m just annoyed that 4,000 people joined a facebook group and were planning protests in the name of ‘free speech’ because of a gig like this. I mean, it was great that people wanted to help us, and I appreciated it. But, I would’ve preferred such support if we were doing something that really stood for something beyond doing stupid shit? I guess we deserved to have our right to do it, but a GG Allin gig? C’mon, I don’t have to be told how stupid that idea is. But that’s why I did it. I had heaps of offers to go interview the media, and other people wanting to help us with protests, but I said no to all of it. Really, this gig was done as a birdbrained idea between 4 complete morons- myself included- for a bit of fun. Come to think of it, I guess the fact we were being stopped from having a bit of fun really did invoke the sort of ‘activism’ that it did…

But I’m still ambivalent about the fact that it went so political… both for and against… really was an indictment on how easily fixated on trivial bullshit the West has become. That a shit eating punk who died 20 years ago could inspire such outrage and political activism really is a bad joke. I said the entire time that this is like an episode of South Park come true.

40

I loved how they painted the act as some anti-Christian whatever . . . and basically made it sound like you guys were going to be performing some blackety black mass or secret Satanic rites or something.

41

Australia is like if Texas was a whole continent.