favorite parental disses of popular music

Discussion
22

I never tortured my family with my music, so I don’t really have any feedback on that front, but SORT OF along the same line, when I was in 6th grade my sister overhead my friend and I talking (he was going to get his ear pierced). This got reported back to my father (my sister was a ruthless tattletale) as “Gunnar is going to get his ear pierced!”.

So my dad sat me down and said that he heard I was talking about getting my ear pierced, then said . . . .

“Son, the only guys that get their ears pierced are punkers and queers. I know you’re not a punker, and I hope you’re not trying to tell us something.”

(My father denies any memory of this happening, but my sister still corroborates the story.)

23

[reply]And I still can’t believe they actually wanted to release that LP as [url https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Licensed_to_Ill]“Don’t Be A Faggot” before Columbia pressured them to change it…

Wow, I had no idea. Shocking from such a socially conscience group of guys. Just shows how kids aren’t fully developed and there is always room for growth.[/reply]

Well - didn’t they at some point claim the whole “Licensed…” period was them being slyly critical of “bro” culture (you know, the huge Budweiser cans and inflatable schlongs on stage etc.)?

Maybe they were doing a ‘Laibach’ thing, you know, where they embrace some cultural phenomenon to such an extreme that it makes people more averse to it rather than more fond of it. But again, I don’t know…

24

All of these_
The Dead C - Trapdoor Fucking Exit

I made the mistake of recommending Dead C as an exemplar of “good New Zealand music” to a ladyfriend who was crazy about the comedy show “Flight of the Conchords.”

Ooooops.

I could have picked the Chills or something much safer, but…like Jello Biafra, I am cursed to [url http://www.discogs.com/Jello-Biafra-I-Blow-Minds-For-A-Living/release/375769]blow minds for a living.

Also, the first time I heard Dead C was on a late nite radio show with none other than Paul Barker as the guest dj - fwiw

25

The lady at the counter ringing up the soundtrack for the movie Colors (tape, baby) said it was bad for me.

My mom didn’t say anything but she confiscated my Eazy-E, N.W.A, and Public Enemy tapes; just found them missing. I think it was assumed that we both knew the reason for the raid on the gangster rap so nothing had to be said.

26

The lady at the counter ringing up the soundtrack for the movie Colors (tape, baby) said it was bad for me.

My mom didn’t say anything but she confiscated my Eazy-E, N.W.A, and Public Enemy tapes; just found them missing. I think it was assumed that we both knew the reason for the raid on the gangster rap so nothing had to be said.

Now that I think of it; during my whole period of employment at Tower in Chicago, there was only one time I think I ever had to deny service to somebody attempting to buy a “PARENTAL ADVISORY” record.

It was a couple of 13-year olds from the ‘magnet school’ next door who were acting like insufferable pricks the moment they stepped through the doors. When my boss got involved and told them that, no, we wouldn’t sell them Three 6 Mafia or whatever they wanted, they actually started saying (you will love this Grmpy) “why do you people do what the GOVERNMENT tells you to do!” Lol…clearly that day an epiphany was had, and an anarchist freedom fighter was born.

They then proceeded to find one of the local homeless fixtures of Lincoln Park and paid him to come in and buy the CD for them; classy.

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It was a couple of 13-year olds… and an anarchist freedom fighter was born.

Your “politics” make total sense now.

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[reply]It was a couple of 13-year olds… and an anarchist freedom fighter was born.

Your “politics” make total sense now.[/reply]

See, I thought you’d get a kick out of that :-p

You’ll find that I like to engage in some self-deflation now and then to keep the atmosphere light.

Wouldn’t that be hilarious though? Imagine the TV interview to follow:

‘Democracy Now’ interviewer: Tomasz, thank you for taking the time from your busy book tour to grace us with an interview. Your new volume ‘The State is Bad, MmmKay’ is bursting with unique insight and with real solutions for a freer society. Tell us, what was the inspiration behind it?

Tomasz: Well, thank you Amy, that’s very kind. While some people have pointed to my encyclopedic knowledge of radical thinkers like Proudhon and Bakunin, as well as my collaboration with the Spanish ‘autonomous’ movement, the truth lies elsewhere. It was a simple transaction with two thirteen year old boys, during my employment at the corporate Tower chain store, that set me on this path. I’ll never forget how the light just went on in my head after they criticized my decision not to sell them a copy of Murder Dog’s “AK47 Barkin’”. I realized how this was not MY decision at all, but the imposition of a cruel and barbaric federal government.

interviewer: (swoons visibly…)

29

Hahahaha!!! That’s funny. We used hobos to alley-oop booze for us many times, but having them buy music . . . that’s some hard core commitment.

30

Hahahaha!!! That’s funny. We used hobos to alley-oop booze for us many times, but having them buy music . . . that’s some hard core commitment.

I remember the PMRC days very well.

31

[reply]Hahahaha!!! That’s funny. We used hobos to alley-oop booze for us many times, but having them buy music . . . that’s some hard core commitment.

I remember the PMRC days very well.[/reply]

I wasn’t of legal age when “In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up” came out; and did have to kind of prove myself to the store clerk and make a case for why I was not going to go throw a molotov cocktail at a church when I had absorbed its contents.

Being able to argue my way into actually getting the tape was quite a victory for me, and it made the profane encore of ‘Stigmata’ all the sweeter.

Totally a thread-derailing side note here, but is anyone else as sick of the “Mature” rating on entertainment media as I am? Shouldn’t maturity have something to do with being a productive member of society etc.? I never thought that having an ability to endure lots of bukkake porn action, or having the wherewithal to beat pedestrians with a stop sign in a Grand Theft Auto episode, had a whole lot to do with “maturity”

32

^I’ve always felt the same, Tomasz.

“You silly immature kids! Enjoy watching your ridiculous nature films and documentaries on construction . . . I’m a MATURE adult now, I’ll be watching people torn violently apart by wild animals and then I’m gonna watch some people take dumps into each others’ mouths.”

Even when it comes to stuff like Insane Clown Posse . . . I see “For Mature Listeners” and I just go into hysterics. Ahhhh, the Juggalos, an absolute beacon of maturity.

33

^I’ve always felt the same, Tomasz.

“You silly immature kids! Enjoy watching your ridiculous nature films and documentaries on construction . . . I’m a MATURE adult now, I’ll be watching people torn violently apart by wild animals and then I’m gonna watch some people take dumps into each others’ mouths.”

Even when it comes to stuff like Insane Clown Posse . . . I see “For Mature Listeners” and I just go into hysterics. Ahhhh, the Juggalos, an absolute beacon of maturity.

Lolol yes, exactly…

Didn’t we have another thread where we were inventing fake educational and public policy organizations administered by Juggaloes? I need to go exhume that thread again…

Oh, hell, ICP just needs to take part in any intellectual debate within our national borders, period:

TONIGHT AT M.I.T.'s KRESGE AUDITORIUM: The Violent J. and Sir Roger Penrose debate series continues, with a focus on the hitherto unknown connections between quantum consciousness and Mad Muthafuckin Clown Love for Life. SOLD OUT.

34

Strangest thing… for some reason my mother lost her shit on my Cure - Pornography record (circa 1985ish) - that was the only one.

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Strangest thing… for some reason my mother lost her shit on my Cure - Pornography record (circa 1985ish) - that was the only one.

My good friend had the same experience, actually - only got about one line into the record before mom intervened sarcastically:

“Oh, of course. ‘It doesn’t matter if we all die’. It’s all so clear now…[uncomfortable pause]…turn it off, Joe.”

36

I was about 19 or 20 at the time and I was giving my mother a ride somewhere . . . . in the tape deck of my truck was Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”. It was cued up for “Planet Caravan” (this is a very mellow and gypsy-ish song – probably the least “metal” of all their songs) and I let it play at a respectable and pleasant level.

My mom, who was always scornful of all my heavy metal, punk, and everything else at the time, not knowing what it was that she was hearing, said, “This is nice. I like this music. What is it?”

“It’s BLACK SABBATH, Mom! That’s OZZY OSBOURNE singing! You just admitted you liked Ozzy and Black Sabbath!”

She tried to recover and only made things worse . . .

“But I didn’t know who it was. I would not have liked it if I knew.”

“TOO LATE!!! You already said you liked it!” I rolled down the window of my truck and screamed out, “My mom loves Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath mwaahahahahaha!!!”

She did not think it was nearly as hilarious as I did.

37

I was about 19 or 20 at the time and I was giving my mother a ride somewhere . . . . in the tape deck of my truck was Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”. It was cued up for “Planet Caravan” (this is a very mellow and gypsy-ish song – probably the least “metal” of all their songs) and I let it play at a respectable and pleasant level.

My mom, who was always scornful of all my heavy metal, punk, and everything else at the time, not knowing what it was that she was hearing, said, “This is nice. I like this music. What is it?”

“It’s BLACK SABBATH, Mom! That’s OZZY OSBOURNE singing! You just admitted you liked Ozzy and Black Sabbath!”

She tried to recover and only made things worse . . .

“But I didn’t know who it was. I would not have liked it if I knew.”

“TOO LATE!!! You already said you liked it!” I rolled down the window of my truck and screamed out, “My mom loves Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath mwaahahahahaha!!!”

She did not think it was nearly as hilarious as I did.

That’s awesome! Nice try on the back peddle too.

I grew up with the parent’s vinyl and 8-track collections until I was about 12.
The parents had decent taste. I remember Elvis, Steppenwolf (my mom’s), Bobby Daren, Neil Sedaka, Brenda Lee, Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry, The Supremes, Donna Summer, The Jackson 5, the Grease double LP, various artists compilations, etc.

At 14, I would hear one of my classmates play DKs in my English class. I never looked back.

38

These are pretty funny. Flash back 21 years ago, to mid-1993. I’m listening to a Ministry bootleg in my room. My mom pokes her head in and says: “Don’t play that in the house. That’s not music.”

39

My mom, who was always scornful of all my heavy metal, punk, and everything else at the time, not knowing what it was that she was hearing, said, “This is nice. I like this music. What is it?”

“It’s BLACK SABBATH, Mom! That’s OZZY OSBOURNE singing! You just admitted you liked Ozzy and Black Sabbath!”

She tried to recover and only made things worse . . .

“But I didn’t know who it was. I would not have liked it if I knew.”

Haha this always raises an interesting question - does it matter who is speaking / singing / playing if the music itself is good?

In recent years I’ve found myself trying to just listen to new records “blind” without first reading about the musicians in a magazine; which used to be the way I discovered the majority of new records to buy.

But now I just pick up things on recommendations, from random Pandora listens, chance encounters etc…if I found music now the way that I used to, I would be writing off way too many artists based on flaky interviews and confessions of annoying personality quirks.

I guess when I was younger and had less first-hand experience catering to alt-culture divas, everything from a “musician’s” mouth sounded cool and insurrectionary, not so anymore :-/

40

For Tomasz (in honour of his Heathen Earth avatar):

I had just come back from a two year stay in the UK and was in my room unpacking stuff, all the while listening to 20 Jazz Funk Greats (quite loudly).

My mum walked into the room with a bundle of clothes, just as Genesis was sneering dryly out of the speakers - “I’ve got a little biscuit tin…to keep your panties in…soiled panties, white panties…”

My mum went white as a sheet and fixed me with a stare that would have killed a newborn puppy. Then she walked out of the room without even saying anything.

Oh dear.

41

I was about 19 or 20 at the time and I was giving my mother a ride somewhere . . . . in the tape deck of my truck was Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”. It was cued up for “Planet Caravan” (this is a very mellow and gypsy-ish song – probably the least “metal” of all their songs) and I let it play at a respectable and pleasant level.

My mom, who was always scornful of all my heavy metal, punk, and everything else at the time, not knowing what it was that she was hearing, said, “This is nice. I like this music. What is it?”

“It’s BLACK SABBATH, Mom! That’s OZZY OSBOURNE singing! You just admitted you liked Ozzy and Black Sabbath!”

She tried to recover and only made things worse . . .

“But I didn’t know who it was. I would not have liked it if I knew.”

“TOO LATE!!! You already said you liked it!” I rolled down the window of my truck and screamed out, “My mom loves Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath mwaahahahahaha!!!”

She did not think it was nearly as hilarious as I did.

‘Planet Caravan’ is indeed mellow but the award for least “metal” Sabbath song has to go to ‘Fluff’…even the name alone…