I’m not sure you guys realize how brilliant Void’s last post really was.
I think ALL of Void’s posts are brilliant.
He is our postmodern Jim Morrison or Elvis
Awesome. At least we now have something to look forward to.
[reply]He is our postmodern Jim Morrison or Elvis
Awesome. At least we now have something to look forward to.[/reply]
Brilliant response gunnar, top 10 snark for sure.
looks more like he’s weighing more towards elvis.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Oh don’t worry, soon everyone will be bowing down at Manson’s feet again…
Or “his imminence” as we’ve taken to calling him…
…When I help to resurrect interest in him.
Oh yes, plebs, the days when voidhead is your puny little poop-smeared punching bag are numbered. Soon everyone will recognize my glory and I will ascend, like a crucified phoenix—high above the rest of you—worshipped by dregs of misunderstood, self-loathing teens across the globe, able to fuck anyone I please—underage or not!! OBESE OR NOT!! Without reproach!!
And only you chosen few will be witness to all my long struggles. And you will laugh to yourselves “by God he was right all along” and rightfully suck my cock for probably about 2 seconds before you remember your place and resume cunting off about how I “sold out” and “Buzz probably thinks I’m gay”.
And only you chosen few will be witness to all my long struggles. And you will laugh to yourselves “by God he was right all along” and rightfully suck my cock for probably about 2 seconds…
I’d suck your cock. Providing you shaved it first.
…before you remember your place and resume cunting off about how I “sold out” and “Buzz probably thinks I’m gay”.
“Cunting off”?? What the?
Oh don’t worry, soon everyone will be bowing down at Manson’s feet again…
Or “his imminence” as we’ve taken to calling him…
…When I help to resurrect interest in him.
Oh yes, plebs, the days when voidhead is your puny little poop-smeared punching bag are numbered. Soon everyone will recognize my glory and I will ascend, like a crucified phoenix—high above the rest of you—worshipped by dregs of misunderstood, self-loathing teens across the globe, able to fuck anyone I please—underage or not!! OBESE OR NOT!! Without reproach!!
And only you chosen few will be witness to all my long struggles. And you will laugh to yourselves “by God he was right all along” and rightfully suck my cock for probably about 2 seconds before you remember your place and resume cunting off about how I “sold out” and “Buzz probably thinks I’m gay”.
I hope for your sake it happens. That way your life won’t be completely disappointing even to yourself.
Late,
grmpysmrf
Meanwhile, backstage at the Tool/Melvins gig in New York City…
Voidhead: Buzzo, can I just say, pure and simple, your music flat out sucks. Your songs have no discernible structure or melody and my baby goth friends and I can’t dance to them when we are all coked up and making out with each other at our little warehouse dance party fashion soirees. Please go away. The music world doesn’t need unattractive people like you who make difficult music for discerning alternative music fans. You stink up the place for us beautiful types. We want more glamour, more pop, more celebrity and more mainstream marketability. We want to see pretty people with sexy bodies gyrating in erotically charged and expensive looking music videos. Take your heady, proto grunge metal histrionics and your cryptic weirdo lyrics and leave us beautiful people in peace.
King Buzzo: The fuck are you, pencil dick?
Voidhead: I’m just a concerned beautiful person. I photograph well and I have lots of friends on MySpace who all tell me I’m going to be as big as my idols, Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga, one day. Especially Manson. He’s…everything a rock star should aspire to being.
King Buzzo: Manson eh? So, you’re a musician?
Voidhead: Not exactly. I do have a band. But, as I was saying, I photograph well and I have lots of friends. That’s all I need right? That and a boppy tune, a hot video and a killer publicist. The world will be my oyster. Just look at what Bieber did with a pretty face, a wardrobe makeover and a song with “baby baby baby” as a central lyrical theme. How hard can it be?
King Buzzo: Sure. Hey I got an idea, here’s 10 bucks. Go buy me a milkshake. I’m thirsty.
Voidhead: A milkshake? the fuck? Um…ok…er…extra thick?
King Buzzo: Extra thick will do just fine. Thankyou. Asshole.
Voidhead limps off, tail firmly planted between legs - smouldering at the thought that his time in the limelight is fading away. Will he ever be famous? Will Marilyn Manson ever be as big as he deserves to be?
The thoughts linger.
Peligro, can you start your own thread and make “The Adventures of Voidhead” a regular feature?
Thank you, Sir.
You’re all idiots. Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne and of course Marilyn Manson (he invented this) represent the future of music.
They have translated Andy Warhol’s theories into the musical realm and are actually creating brilliant art but still have mass appeal. The hipsters and avant garde elitists deem it “dumb pop” because they don’t comprehend that they (and everyone else) have been had.
marilyn manson didnt invent it. and if you honestly think that, you need to call your mother and scold her for sleeping with her brother.
if you really wanna make a ridiculously definitive statement about who embodied DaDa ism and the absurdity of it all in their music first, Brecht beat manson by QUITE some time. and before him Mozart had a similar acerbic wit.
but the musical artist to first embody Andy the best was OBVIOUSLY Lou Reed/John Cale. and oh… i donno… fucking DAVID BOWIE.
void, i have been a lurker and occasional poster on this board for YEARS, and i usually dont jump in on things like this, but you are a fucking moron sometimes.
and this is the biggest of those times.
Peligro, can you start your own thread and make “The Adventures of Voidhead” a regular feature?
Consider it done.
These fictional characters will make regular appearances:
Amber Trash: A tough talking, tattooed street chick from The Bronx. Has posed for Suicide Girls on occasion. Has “daddy issues”. Was a tweaker for a while, before going straight. Now works the door at a baby goth club down on 12th Avenue. Can handle herself in a fight and has the scars to prove it. A somewhat closeted fan of literature she is known to quote Rimbaud to unsuspecting types who get too close for comfort. The epitomy of sex on a stick and will do three guys at a time if need be.
Eddie C - Void’s right hand man. His “lieutenant” if you will. Scrawny, but cute enough. A modern day doe-eyed Bobby Beausoleil. Ran away from home aged 13. Lived with a gay couple who worked Broadway for a while. Cut his chops on the mean streets of New York, which he knows like the back of his hand.
“Jew Boy” Tony - another void hanger on. Mysterious. Keeps his distance. We don’t really get to him. Family made their fortune in the diamond trade. Father, Yenkel, known to have ties to the mob. Like polo and the ballet but will not openly admit to either.
Sally Haim - The love of Void’s life. From Up Town. Elusive in the extreme. Has a soft spot of Void but her family would disapprove of any relationship. Pretty in a Natalie Portman kind of way. Delicate but fiercely ambitious. Studying Law at Yale. Whether or not the relationship will ever be will be a major plot point for the story.
Trey - the “Kramer” of the group. A likable doofus but a doofus nonetheless. Wants to be writer but is settling for making a living penning scripts for upcoming tv pilots. Wacky hairdo and screechy voice makes for one hell of a character. Once inserted a golf ball into his anus on a dare.
Marty D - arrogant goth and aspiring actor. Totally beligerent - even by Void’s lofty standards. The pair will face off on more than one occasion. Not overly dangerous but one to watch out for. Brags about “knowing” Twiggy Ramirez.
This is already an amazing series.
And I already have a crush on Amber Trash.
Maybe you can have a special Prongs crossover episode where Gunnar and Grumpy stumble into one of the Wolf Parties and start complaining that there’s no barbecue sauce or chicken fingers. And then they start yelling out requests for Guns and Roses’ songs during Nursery Home’s showcase performance. This of course sends Voidhead into a full-blown Billy-style tantrum whereby he flings poop at the audience and all the underage groupies.
Trust me - reality WILL mix with fantasy in this series.
I plan to do a The Hangover type deal where Void takes Grmysmrf and Gunnar on a wild night clubbing on the mean streets of New York. Gunnar and Grmpy wake up on a rooftop in lower Manhattan - Void is missing and Grmpy is holding a sandwich bag containing clippings of Void’s pubic hair, a skeleton key and a ticket stub to a Dave Mathews concert.
Where will this crazy adventure end up?!?!?!
Excellent! And you’re also giving me inspiration to get my other project off the ground . . . . PRONGS MAD LIBS.
If only they didn’t charge us to make movies we would have a hot new director/producer on our hands!
I <3 voidhead fan fiction!
Could you have him have a ménage a trois with Kirk and Spock?
Peligro=my new favorite poster on prongs!
Glad yer back for more than just a monthly appearance.
Btw I think “photographs really well” or whatever you wrote may be a bit generous.
Late,
grmpysmrf
I’d rather he just do stories about Amber Trash.
Best thread of 2012. Peligro, hat’s off to you, pal.
I <3 voidhead fan fiction!
Could you have him have a ménage a trois with Kirk and Spock?
WINNAR.
I’d rather he just do stories about Amber Trash.
Make sure Amber Trash has some physical similarities to Integrity, and we’ll be sitting pretty.